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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 205.[end figure description]

I arrived here nite before last at arly kandle lite.
Mi wife and 2 children ackompanyed me. The fust
thing that i did was tu call for a tavern; i got one
immegiately, and took a room, from choice, in the
Seventh story, all the rooms above wer took. The
tavern whare i stop, is called the Union, one, and
inseprable. The bar is stocked with the choicest
lickers. Thare must be 3 or 4 hundred black serviants
here, tha all wear white aporns, and hav their
hair curled clos. The tavern keeper rings a gong
with a klub when the vittles is reddy, and then the
boarders march in; 'tis a moste effecting site! I
havent et enynthing yet but briled chickens. I
gess evry body here knows me, tha look at me so.
I kreated a sensashun yesterday after dinner, on the
front stupe ov the tavern, by calling a cullard servant
tu pick mi teeth. I herd one ov the ladys

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sa, “i was an English Lord, she had saw me at
Nuport laste seson.” I shall sta here as long as i
can injuce mi females tu remain. This is the place
where the congriss water cums from; tha dip it up
out ov a hole in the ground, with a roof over it, you
can drink 4 or 5 tumblers ov it tu onst, without
swallering; it tastes a good deal like sumthing i
never tasted before, and it operates on the inwards
for all the world, just like pills. It dus look so
funny tu see 8 or 9 hundred mails, and femails, all
taking fisick tu once; 'tis a pensiv sight! The
town kontains about 6 thousand folks, and about as
menny more individuals; the individuals spend their
time going up and down the back stairs and taking
fisick. The natur ov the sile around here is sandy,
and pine trees, about half and half. Thare is a rase
course here, built in a sircile, whare tha make hosses
go round and round; tis delitesum tu behold!
Three miles out east of the village tha hav built a
fashionable pond; evrybody goes thare tu spend
their munny; tha ask 8 cents a glass for their
whiska! The sosietah here is permiskus, blaklegs
and deakons, divines and pugerlistics, judges and
jockeys, congressmen and harlots, devils and Quakers,
so judciously mixed up, 'tis food for the

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filosopick mind. A grate menny young wimmin are
brought here annually tu git married: the kourting
is all did by the mothers, in fac the wimmin du it all
here excep pay the bills. A man at Saratoger don't
hav enny more tu sa, or du, than an old gander dus
when a goose is setting. The citizens ov this place
hav onla one kind ov religion or pollyticks, and that
is congriss water. I kant rite enny more just now,
i hav got tu go down stairs.

Aju, Josh Billings.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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