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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 181.[end figure description]

Part Fust — I dont suppoze thare is enny dout
about this assershun. A man who haint got propper
disiplin, iz jist about ov az mutch uze tew hiz fellow
critters az a wether cock wud be amung a parcil ov
barnyard pulletts. Injuns haint got enny disciplin,
and, konsequentla, the more injuns a man had tew
run a kotton faktory with, the wus he wud be oph.
Turning a grinstone iz fust rate disiplin. If a man
ov ornary mind haint got disiplin, he bekums a lofer
the fust good chanse he gits. Thare haz bin, perhaps,
a fu individoals born into the world that did'nt want
mutch disiplin — Homer, and Virgil, and Shakesper,
and sich like, if tha had bin sot to turning a grinstone
it mite hav spilt them — tha waz like Eagles,
made tu fli without enny praktis. Disiplin iz evrathing.
The thurer bred Hoss wants the smoothe bit
ov disiplin — the mule wants the sled-stake disiplin.

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[figure description] Page 182.[end figure description]

Part Seckunt.—Majer Spenser had leaf ov abscense
from his regiment, and was glad enuff, i tell yu,
tew swap the pesky air ov the suthern konfederasy
for the brittle breth ov Nu England. He spent his
time a climeing the mountains ov his natiff land, and
looking way down into the hollers; he worryed the
trouts as tha swum up and down hill in the brooks,
and he gethered penroyal for his good old Ma tu
hang up in the wood hous chamber, tew make arb tea
ov next winter. Majer Spenser had a brother who
was a minister ov the gospil, and the Majer boarded
with him. One Sunda nite the minister and the
Majer sot kommuning together. The moon cum up
out ov the East, as big as an old fashund kart wheel
(one ov the ox kind ov kart wheels, i mean,) the stars
stuk clean out ov the ski, and the air was filled
with the musick ov the cows a chawing their cuds in
the distance. All natur la undisturbed. “Brother,”
ced Parson, a braking the paws, “how did yu like
divine sarvice to-day?” Very well, sir, very well,
sir,” ced the Majer, “if that dam deakin ov yurs
hadn't refused to pra when yu asked him. Disiplin,
sir, disiplin iz evry thing.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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