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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 145.[end figure description]

Courting is a luxury, it is sallad, it is ise water, it is
a beveridge, it is the pla spell ov the soul. The man
who has never courted haz lived in vain; he haz bin
a blind man amung landskapes and waterskapes; he
has bin a deff man in the land ov hand orgins, and
by the side ov murmuring canals. Courting iz like
2 little springs ov soft water that steal out from under
a rock at the fut ov a mountain and run down
the hill side by side singing and dansing and spatering
each uther, eddying and frothing and kaskading,
now hiding under bank, now full ov sun and
now full ov shadder, till bimeby tha jine and then tha
go slow. I am in faver ov long courting; it gives
the parties a chance to find out each uther's trump
kards, it iz good exercise, and is jist as innersent as
2 merino lambs. Courting iz like strawberries and
cream, wants tew be did slow, then yu git the flaver.

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[figure description] Page 146.[end figure description]

I hav saw folks git ackquainted, fall in luv, git marrid,
settel down and git tew wurk, in 3 weeks from
date. This is jist the wa sum folks larn a trade,
and akounts for the grate number ov almitey mean
mechanicks, we hav and the poor jobs tha turn out.

Perhaps it iz best i shud state sum good advise
tew yung men, who are about tew court with a final
view to matrimony, az it waz. In the fust plase,
yung man, yu want tew git yure systen awl rite, and
then find a yung woman who iz willing tew be courted
on the square. The nex thing is tew find out how
old she is, which yu kan dew bi asking her and she
will sa that she is 19 years old, and this yu will find
won't be far from out ov the wa. The nex best thing
iz tew begin moderate; say onse evry nite in the
week for the fust six months, increasing the dose as
the pasheint seems to require it. It is a fust rate wa
tew court the girl's mother a leetle on the start, for
there iz one thing a woman never despizes, and that
iz, a leettle good courting, if it is dun strikly on the
square. After the fust year yu will begin to be well
ackquainted and will begin tew like the bizzness.
Thare is one thing I alwus advise, and that iz not to
swop fotograffs oftener than onse in 10 daze. unless
yu forgit how the gal looks.

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[figure description] Page 147.[end figure description]

Okasionally yu want tew look sorry and draw in
yure wind az tho yu had pain, this will set the gal
tew teazing yu tew find out what ails yu. Evening
meetings are a good thing tu tend, it will keep yure
religgion in tune; and then if the gal happens tew be
thare, bi acksident, she kan ask yu tew go hum with

Az a ginral thing i wouldn't brag on uther gals
mutch when i waz courting, it mite look az tho yu
knu tew mutch. If yu will court 3 years in this wa,
awl the time on the square, if yu don't sa it iz a
leettle the slikest time in yure life, yu kan git measured
for a hat at my expense, and pa for it. Don't
court for munny, nor buty, nor relashuns, theze things
are jist about az onsartin as the kerosene ile refining
bissness, liabel tew git out ov repair and bust at enny

Court a gal for fun, for the luv yu bear her, for
the vartue and bissness thare is in her; court her
for a wife and for a mother, court her as yu wud
court a farm — for the strength ov the sile and the
parfeckshun ov the title; court her as tho she want a
fule, and yu a nuther; court her in the kitchen, in
the parlor, over the wash-tub, and at the pianner;
court this wa, yung man, and if yu don't git a good

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[figure description] Page 148.[end figure description]

wife and she don't git a good hustband, the falt
won't be in the courting.

Yung man, yu kan rely upon Josh Billings, and
if yu kant make these rules wurk jist send for him
and he will sho yu how the thing is did, and it shant
kost yu a cent.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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