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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 019.[end figure description]

Amelia.” — Yure inquiry, about the moste
best time tu marry, dus yu grate credit, it iz a subject
which i hav swet over a good deal, and i am
real glad you spoke about it, mi spase wont allow
me tu go into the thing, clean up to the hub, az i
wud like tu, but in a few wurds, i will sa, i hav
alwus considered cool weather, the moste best time.

Fred.” — Yu aint obliged tu ask a gals mother,
if yu ma go home with her from a partee, git
the gals endorsement, and sale in; it iz proper
enuff tu ask her tu take yure arm, but you haint
got no rite tu put yure arm around her waste, unless
yu meet a Bear on the rode, and then yu are
bound tu take yure arm away, just az soon az the
Bear gits safely by.

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Whip.” — Yu are rite. Mules live tu a long
age, iv'e known them miself, tu live 100 years, and
not half tri. Yu are rite also, about their being
sure footed, iv'e known them tu kick a man, twise
in a sekund, 10 feet oph.

Gertrude.” — Yure inquiry stumps me, the
darndest. The more i think on it, the more i kant
tell. Az near az i kan rekolek now, i think i dont
kno. Much mite be ced both ways, and neether wa
be rite. Upon the whole i rather reckon i wud, or
i wuddent, jist az i thought best, or otherwise.

Plutark.” — Yu'are mistaken, the Shakers
dont marry. If young Shakers fall in luv tha are
sot tu weeding onions, and that kures them forthwithly.
I kant tell yu now, how much it dus kost
tu jine the Shakers but i beleave the expenze used
tu be, inkluding having yure hair cut and larning
how tu danse, about $65.00. I disreckoleckt what
their religun iz, but if mi memry sarves me rite, it
iz making almitey good brooms, and sellin devilish
poor grape cuttings, for 75 cents a foot.

Sportsman.” — Yure inquiry iz not edzackly in

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mi line, but i haste tu repli, as follers, to wit:
The rite length tu cut oph a dog's tale haz never
yet bin fully diskovered, but iz undoubtedly somewhare
bak ov hiz ears, provided yu git the dog's
consent. N. B. — It aint absolutely necessara the
dog's consent should be in riteing.

Kate.” — I think Lord Biron waz the author
ov the lines yu speke ov; 'twas either him or 'twas
Captain Kid, one or tother. Biron waz dredful
limber at riteing potri, so waz Kidd, but Biron waz
the limberest.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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