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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 062.[end figure description]

Perkins — I hav red yure peace, on “Wimmins
Rites,” thru, and thru, and must say that i luv it.
In mi opinyun, wimmin haz a rite to tu dew enny
thing well, but saw wood; sawin wood, ain't their
stile; speshially if the sawbuk iz a high one, it must
mortify them the wust wa.

Harrold. — Yure genus iz not fully born yet,
when it gits awl born, i think yu will be a poeck.
Yu hav got imaginashun enuff tew keep a livery
stable. Yure landguage iz a leetle too florid; did
you ever travel in Florida? Tri agin — I notis
one ov yure lines, haz 10 feet into it, and the nex
one, haz only got 9 feet, six inches. Sum poiks
air born, and sum are manafaktured; the manafaktured
ones, are the moste stiddyest, tha aint so ap
tew hanker after mint juleps. Yu ought to go up

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garrett when yu praktis, moste awl good poeckry
haz bin rit up garrett.

Hard Road.—Yure essa has sum good hits intu it,
but iz not jis the thing for a religus nuzepaper, like
ours; send it tu “Wilkes Spirit,” a paper that
knows how tu talk hoss. I will merely suggess,
that pedigree iz not important for a fast trotting
hoss; if he kan trot fast, never minde the pedigree.
Thare iz a grate menny fast men, even, who haint
got no pedigree. Thare aint mutch art in driving a
trotting hoss, jist hold them bak hard, and holler
them ahead hard, thats awl. A hoss will trot the
fastest down hill, espeshila, if the briching brakes.
Kuller is no kriterion. I hav seen awful mean
hosses, ov awl kullers, excep green, i never cee a
mean one ov this kuller. Hosses liv tew an honarabil
old age, and i hav often seen them, that apeared
fully prepared for deth. Heathins are alwus
kind tew hosses; it iz only among christian people,
that a hoss haz tew trot 3 mile heats, in a hot da,
for $25,000 in kounterfit munny.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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