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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 037.[end figure description]

Truth iz the onla thing I kno ov that kant be
improved upon.

If yu want tew git a sure krop, and a big yield
for the seed, sow wilde oats.

An insult tew one man iz an insult tew aul men.

Cunning is curiosity satisfied, and curiosity satisfied
iz wisdom.

Wize men don't expeck tu do away with the visisitudes
ov life, they onla expeck tew blunt the edge
ov them.

Yu kan gorge avaris, but ambishun knows no
gorge but the grave.

A sarkastic wit iz a kind ov human pole-cat.

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If thare is enny thing on this arth that angels
kant imitate 'tis a vartuous yung man trampling
temtashun under hiz feet.

I had rather be a reseiver ov stolen goods than
the keeper ov men's sekrets.

Fame iz jist about az mutch use tew a ded man
as 5.20's wud be, interest payable in goold.

Sum people hav the power ov saing a good deal
in a fu words, while others hav the power ov saing
a little in a good menny wurds.

Slander iz played on a tin horn, while truth steals
forth like the dieing song ov a lute.

Yu kan judge ov sum men's karakters onla bi
what they eat and drink.

“Truth iz stranger than ficshun” — that iz tew
sum folks.

I hav found a grate menny things in this wurld
that waz free — free az a well tew git into, but like
a rat trap, not edzackly free tu git out ov.

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“Meet me bi moonlite alone,” iz awl well enuff
under sum circumstances; but moonlite me for meat
alone, iz not so well ennuff, under enny circumstances.

I don't kno ov but one thing on arth that kan
improve a good wife, and that iz buty.

After you hav made up yure mind jist what you
are going to du, then iz a good time tew dew it.

We often hear ov men, who hav cum within an
mch ov dieing, and i haint enny dout thare iz sum,
that evry boddy wuld lik tew hear had cum within
an inch ov bein born.

“The lapse ov ages,” iz a pleasant thing tew
dwell upon, but after awl, verry mutch depends
upon the ages ov the laps.

It iz not differkult tew find augers that wont bore,
but yu seldom cum across a bore that wont auger.

“Faith that iz founded on an arnest and truthful
convickshun, iz butiful tu behold; but faith that iz
founded simpla on courage, aint enny thing more
than good grit.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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