Audrey.
Touch.
We shall find a time, Audrey: patience,
gentle Audrey.
Aud.
'Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the
old gentleman's saying.
Touch.
A most wicked sir Oliver, Audrey; a most
vile Mar-text. But, Audrey; there is a youth here in
the forest lays claim to you.
Aud.
Ay, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in
me in the world. Here comes the man you mean.
Enter William.
Touch.
It is meat and drink to me to see a clown.
-- 85 --
By my troth, we that have good wits have much to
answer for: we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
Will.
Good even, Audrey.
Aud.
God ye good even, William.
Will.
And good even to you, sir.
Touch.
Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head,
cover thy head: nay, pr'ythee, be covered. How old
are you, friend?
Will.
Five and twenty, sir.
Touch.
A ripe age. Is thy name William?
Will.
William, sir.
Touch.
A fair name. Wast born i'the forest here?
Will.
Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touch.
Thank God;—a good answer. Art rich?
Will.
'Faith, sir, so, so.
Touch.
So, so, is good, very good, very excellent
good:—and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?
Will.
Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touch.
Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember
a saying; “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise
man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher,
when he had a desire to eat a grape, would
open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning
thereby, that grapes were made to eat, and lips to
open. You do love this maid?
Will.
I do, sir.
Touch.
Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
Will.
No, sir.
Touch.
Then learn this of me. To have, is to have;
for it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink, being poured
out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty
the other; for all your writers do consent, that ipse is
he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
Will.
Which he, sir?
Touch.
He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore,
you clown, abandon,—which is in the vulgar,
leave,—the society,—which in the boorish is, company,
-- 86 --
—of this female,—which in the common is,—woman;
which together is, abandon the society of this female,
or, clown thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding,
diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away,
translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage.
I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in
steel: I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'errun
thee with policy7 note; I will kill thee a hundred and
fifty ways: therefore tremble, and depart.
Aud.
Do, good William.
Will.
God rest you merry, sir.
[Exit.
Enter Corin.
Cor.
Our master and mistress seek you: come, away,
away!
Touch.
Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I
attend.
[Exeunt.
SCENE II.
The Same.
Enter Orlando and Oliver.
Orl.
Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you
should like her? that, but seeing, you should love her;
and, loving, woo; and, wooing, she should grant? and
will you persever to enjoy her?
Oli.
Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the
poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing,
nor her sudden consenting8 note; but say with me, I
love Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent
with both, that we may enjoy each other: it shall be
to your good; for my father's house, and all the revenue
that was old sir Rowland's, will I estate upon you, and
here live and die a shepherd.
-- 87 --
Orl.
You have my consent.
Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I
Invite the duke, and all's contented followers.
Enter Rosalind.
Go you, and prepare Aliena; for, look you,
Here comes my Rosalind9 note.
Ros.
God save you, brother.
Oli.
And you, fair sister.
[Exit1 note.
Ros.
O! my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see
thee wear thy heart in a scarf.
Orl.
It is my arm.
Ros.
I thought thy heart had been wounded with
the claws of a lion.
Orl.
Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
Ros.
Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited
to swoon, when he showed me your handkerchief?
Orl.
Ay, and greater wonders than that.
Ros.
O! I know where you are.—Nay, 'tis true:
there was never any thing so sudden, but the fight of
two rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of—“I came,
saw,” and “overcame:” for your brother and my sister
no sooner met, but they looked; no sooner looked, but
they loved; no sooner loved, but they sighed; no
sooner sighed, but they asked one another the reason;
no sooner knew the reason, but they sought the remedy:
and in these degrees have they made a pair of
stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent,
or else be incontinent before marriage. They are in
the very wrath of love, and they will together: clubs
cannot part them2 note.
-- 88 --
Orl.
They shall be married to-morrow, and I will
bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O! how bitter a
thing it is to look into happiness through another man's
eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at
the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall
think my brother happy in having what he wishes for.
Ros.
Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn
for Rosalind?
Orl.
I can live no longer by thinking.
Ros.
I will weary you, then, no longer with idle talking.
Know of me, then, (for now I speak to some purpose,)
that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit.
I speak not this, that you should bear a good
opinion of my knowledge, insomuch, I say, I know you
are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may
in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do
yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if
you please, that I can do strange things. I have, since
I was three years old, conversed with a magician, most
profound in his art, and yet not damnable. If you do
love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it
out, when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry
her. I know into what straits of fortune she is driven;
and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient
to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow,
human as she is, and without any danger.
Orl.
Speak'st thou in sober meanings?
Ros.
By my life, I do; which I tender dearly,
though I say I am a magician. Therefore, put you
in your best array, bid your friends, for if you will be
married to-morrow, you shall, and to Rosalind, if you
will.
Enter Silvius and Phebe.
Look; here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers.
Phe.
Youth, you have done me much ungentleness,
To show the letter that I writ to you.
-- 89 --
Ros.
I care not, if I have: it is my study
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.
You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd:
Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
Phe.
Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.
Sil.
It is to be all made of sighs and tears;
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And I for Ganymede.
Orl.
And I for Rosalind.
Ros.
And I for no woman.
Sil.
It is to be all made of faith and service;
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And I for Ganymede.
Orl.
And I for Rosalind.
Ros.
And I for no woman.
Sil.
It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes;
All adoration, duty and observance;
All humbleness, all patience, and impatience;
All purity, all trial, all observance 11Q03573 note;
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And so am I for Ganymede.
Orl.
And so am I for Rosalind.
Ros.
And so am I for no woman.
Phe.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
[To Rosalind.
Sil.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
[To Phebe.
Orl.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
Ros.
Why do you speak, too4 note, “why blame you me
to love you?”
-- 90 --
Orl.
To her, that is not here, nor doth not hear.
Ros.
Pray you, no more of this: 'tis like the howling
of Irish wolves against the moon.—I will help you,
[To Silvius] if I can:—I would love you, [To Phebe]
if I could.—To-morrow meet me all together.—I will
marry you, [To Phebe] if ever I marry woman, and
I'll be married to-morrow:—I will satisfy you, [To
Orlando] if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be
married to-morrow:—I will content you, [To Silvius]
if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be
married to-morrow.—As you [To Orlando] love Rosalind,
meet;—as you [To Silvius] love Phebe, meet;
and as I love no woman, I'll meet.—So, fare you well:
I have left you commands.
Sil.
I'll not fail, if I live.
Phe.
Nor I.
Orl.
Nor I.
[Exeunt.
SCENE III.
The Same.
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Touch.
To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey: to-morrow
will we be married.
Aud.
I do desire it with all my heart, and I hope
it is no dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of
the world5 note. Here come two of the banished duke's
pages.
Enter two Pages.
1 Page.
Well met, honest gentleman.
-- 91 --
Touch.
By my troth, well met. Come, sit; sit, and
a song.
2 Page.
We are for you: sit i'the middle.
1 Page.
Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking,
or spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the
only prologues to a bad voice?
2 Page.
I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, like two
gypsies on a horse.
SONG6 note.
It was a lover, and his lass,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
That o'er the green corn-field did pass
In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, 11Q0358
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding;
Sweet lovers love the spring.
Between the acres of the rye,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
These pretty country folks would lie,
In spring time, &c.
This carol they began that hour,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
How that a life was but a flower
In spring time, &c.
And therefore take the present time,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
For love is crowned with the prime
In spring time, &c.
Touch.
Truly, young gentlemen, though there was
-- 92 --
no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very
untuneable7 note.
1 Page.
You are deceived, sir: we kept time; we
lost not our time.
Touch.
By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost
to hear such a foolish song. God be wi' you; and God
mend your voices. Come, Audrey.
[Exeunt.
SCENE IV.
Another Part of the Forest.
Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, and Celia.
Duke S.
Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orl.
I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not,
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear 11Q03598 note.
Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe.
Ros.
Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd.—
[To the Duke.]
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
You will bestow her on Orlando here?
Duke S.
That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
-- 93 --
Ros. [To Orlando.]
And you say, you will have her, when I bring her?
Orl.
That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
Ros. [To Phebe.]
You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing?
Phe.
That will I, should I die the hour after.
Ros.
But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
Phe.
So is the bargain.
Ros. [To Silvius.]
You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will?
Sil.
Though to have her and death were both one thing.
Ros.
I have promis'd to make all this matter even.
Keep you your word, O duke! to give your daughter;—
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:—
Keep you your word, Phebe9 note, that you'll marry me;
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd:—
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her,
If she refuse me:—and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even. 11Q0360
[Exeunt Rosalind and Celia.
Duke S.
I do remember in this shepherd-boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.
Orl.
My lord, the first time that I ever saw him,
Methought he was a brother to your daughter:
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Obscured in the circle of this forest.
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Jaq.
There is, sure, another flood toward, and these
-- 94 --
couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of
very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools.
Touch.
Salutation and greeting to you all.
Jaq.
Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the
motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in
the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears.
Touch.
If any man doubt that, let him put me to my
purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered
a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth
with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have
had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.
Jaq.
And how was that ta'en up?
Touch.
'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was
upon the seventh cause.
Jaq.
How seventh cause?—Good my lord, like this
fellow.
Duke S.
I like him very well.
Touch.
God'ild you, sir1 note; I desire you of the like. I
press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives,
to swear, and to forswear, according as marriage
binds, and blood breaks.—A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured
thing, sir, but mine own: a poor humour of
mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich
honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor-house, as your
pearl in your foul oyster.
Duke S.
By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
Touch.
According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such
dulcet diseases.
Jaq.
But, for the seventh cause; how did you find
the quarrel on the seventh cause?
Touch.
Upon a lie seven times removed.—Bear
your body more seeming, Audrey.—As thus, sir. I
did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard: he
sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he
-- 95 --
was in the mind it was: this is called the “retort
courteous.” If I sent him word again, it was not well
cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself:
this is called the “quip modest.” If again, it
was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is
called the “reply churlish.” If again, it was not well
cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called
the “reproof valiant.” If again, it was not well cut,
he would say, I lie: this is called the “countercheck
quarrelsome:” and so to the “lie circumstantial2 note,” and
the “lie direct.”
Jaq.
And how oft did you say, his beard was not
well cut?
Touch.
I durst go no farther than the “lie circumstantial,”
nor he durst not give me the “lie direct;”
and so we measured swords, and parted.
Jaq.
Can you nominate in order now the degrees of
the lie?
Touch.
O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book3 note, as
-- 96 --
you have books for good manners: I will name you
the degrees. The first, the retort courteous; the
second, the quip modest; the third, the reply churlish;
the fourth, the reproof valiant; the fifth, the countercheck
quarrelsome; the sixth, the lie, with circumstance;
the seventh, the lie direct. All these you may
avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too,
with an if. I knew when seven justices could not take
up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves,
one of them thought but of an if, as If you said
so, then I said so; and they shook hands and swore
brothers. Your if is the only peace-maker; much
virtue in if.
Jaq.
Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good
at any thing, and yet a fool.
Duke S.
He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and
under the presentation of that, he shoots his wit.
Enter Hymen, leading Rosalind in woman's clothes 11Q0361; and Celia.
Still Music.
Hym.
Then is there mirth in heaven,
When earthly things made even
Atone together4 note.
Good duke, receive thy daughter,
Hymen from heaven brought her;
Yea, brought her hither,
That thou might'st join her hand with his,
Whose heart within her bosom is5 note
.
Ros. [To Duke S.]
To you I give myself, for I am yours.
-- 97 --
[To Orlando.]
To you I give myself, for I am yours.
Duke S.
If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl.
If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
Phe.
If sight and shape be true,
Why then, my love adieu!
Ros. [To Duke S.]
I'll have no father, if you be not he:—
[To Orlando.]
I'll have no husband, if you be not he:—
[To Phebe.]
Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.
Hym.
Peace, ho! I bar confusion.
'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events:
Here's eight that must take hands,
To join in Hymen's bands,
If truth holds true contents.
[To Orlando and Rosalind.]
You and you no cross shall part:
[To Oliver and Celia.]
You and you are heart in heart:
[To Phebe.]
You to his love must accord,
Or have a woman to your lord:
[To Touchstone and Audrey.]
You and you are sure together,
As the winter to foul weather.
Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning,
That reason wonder may diminish,
How thus we met, and these things finish. 11Q0362
SONG.
Wedding is great Juno's crown:
O, blessed bond of board and bed!
'Tis Hymen peoples every town;
High wedlock, then, be honoured:
-- 98 --
Honour, high honour, and renown,
To Hymen, god of every town! 11Q0363
Duke S.
O, my dear niece! welcome thou art to me:
Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.
Phe. [To Silvius.]
I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.
Enter Second Brother3 note.
2 Bro.
Let me have audience for a word or two.
I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.—
Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Address'd a mighty power, which were on foot
In his own conduct, purposely to take
His brother here, and put him to the sword.
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came,
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted
Both from his enterprize, and from the world;
His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother,
And all their lands restor'd to him again4 note,
That were with him exil'd. This to be true,
I do engage my life.
-- 99 --
Duke S.
Welcome, young man;
Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding:
To one, his lands withheld; and to the other,
A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.
First, in this forest, let us do those ends
That here were well begun, and well begot;
And after, every of this happy number,
That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us,
Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their 'states.
Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,
And fall into our rustic revelry.—
Play, music! and you brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall.
Jaq.
Sir, by your patience.—If I heard you rightly,
The duke hath put on a religious life,
And thrown into neglect the pompous court?
2 Bro.
He hath.
Jaq.
To him will I: out of these convertites
There is much matter to be heard and learn'd.—
You [To Duke S.] to your former honour I bequeath;
Your patience, and your virtue, well deserve it:—
You [To Orlando] to a love, that your true faith doth merit:—
You [To Oliver] to your land, and love, and great allies:—
You [To Silvius] to a long and well deserved bed:—
And you [To Touchstone] to wrangling; for thy loving voyage
Is but for two months victuall'd.—So, to your pleasures:
I am for other than for dancing measures.
Duke S.
Stay, Jaques, stay.
Jaq.
To see no pastime, I:—what you would have,
I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave.
[Exit.
Duke S.
Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites,
As we do trust they'll end in true delights5 note.
-- 100 --
EPILOGUE.
Ros.
It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue;
but it is no more unhandsome, than to see the
lord the prologue. If it be true, that good wine
needs no bush6 note, 'tis true that a good play needs no
epilogue; yet to good wine they do use good bushes,
and good plays prove the better by the help of good
epilogues. What a case am I in, then, that am neither
a good epilogue, nor cannot insinuate with you in the
behalf of a good play? I am not furnished like a beggar,
therefore to beg will not become me: my way is,
to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I
charge you, O women! for the love you bear to men,
to like as much of this play as please you: and I
charge you, O men! for the love you bear to women,
(as I perceive by your simpering none of you hates
them,) that between you and the women, the play may
please. If I were a woman7 note, I would kiss as many of
you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that
liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and, I am
sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or
sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make
curtsey, bid me farewell.
[Exeunt.
