SCENE IX.
Enter Bardolph.
Bard.
Sir John, there's one master Brook below would fain
speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent
your worship a morning's draught of sack.
Fal.
Brook is his name?
Bard.
Ay, Sir.
Fal.
Call him in; such * noteBrooks are welcome to me that o'erflow
with such liquor. Ah! ah! mistress Ford and mistress Page,
have I encompass'd you? go to, via.
Enter Ford disguis'd.
Ford.
Bless you, Sir.
Fal.
And you, Sir; would you speak with me?
Ford.
I make bold to press with so little preparation upon you.
Fal.
You're welcome; what's your will? give us leave, drawer.
Ford.
Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name
is Brook.
Fal.
Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.
Ford.
Good Sir John, I sue for yours; not to charge you;
for I must let you understand, I think my self in better plight
for a lender than you are, the which hath something embolden'd
me to this unseason'd intrusion; for they say, if mony go before,
all ways do lye open.
Fal.
Mony is a good soldier, Sir, and will on.
Ford.
Troth, and I have a bag of mony here troubles me; if
you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing
me of the carriage.
Fal.
Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter.
-- 263 --
Ford.
I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing.
Fal.
Speak, good master Brook, I shall be glad to be your
servant.
Ford.
Sir, I hear you are a scholar, I will be brief with you,
and you have been a man long known to me, tho' I had never
so good means as desire to make my self acquainted with you: I
shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open
mine own Imperfections; but good Sir John, as you have one
eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another
into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the
easier, sith you your self know how easie it is to be such an offender.
Fal.
Very well: Sir, proceed.
Ford.
There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's
name is Ford.
Fal.
Well, Sir.
Ford.
I have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestow'd
much on her, follow'd her with a doating observance, ingross'd
opportunities to meet her, fee'd every slight occasion that could
but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents
to give her, but have given largely to many, to know
what she would have given: briefly, I have pursu'd her, as love
hath pursu'd me, which hath been on the wing of all occasions.
But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my
means, meed I am sure I have received none, unless experience
be a jewel I have purchas'd at an infinite rate, and that hath
taught me to say this;
“Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues;
“Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.
Fal.
Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands?
Ford.
Never.
Fal.
Have you importun'd her to such a purpose?
Ford.
Never.
-- 264 --
Fal.
Of what quality was your love then?
Ford.
Like a fair house built on another man's ground, so that
I have lost my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it.
Fal.
To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?
Ford.
When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some
say, that tho' she appear honest to me, yet in other places she
enlargeth her mirth so far, that there is shrewd construction
made of her. Now Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose:
You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse,
of great admittance, authentick in your place and person, generally
allow'd for your many war-like, court-like, and learned
preparations.
Fal.
O Sir!
Ford.
Believe it, for you know it; there is mony, spend it,
spend it; spend more, spend all I have, only give me so much
of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the
honesty of this Ford's wife; use your art of wooing, win her to
consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any.
Fal.
Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection,
that I should win what you would enjoy? methinks you prescribe
to your self very preposterously.
Ford.
O, understand my drift; she dwells so securely on the
excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not
present it self; she is too bright to be look'd against. Now could
I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had
instance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive
her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow,
and a thousand other defences, which now are too
strongly embattel'd against me. What say you to't, Sir John?
Fal.
Master Brook, I will first make bold with your mony;
next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you
shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.
Ford.
O good Sir!
-- 265 --
Fal.
I say, you shall.
Ford.
Want no mony, Sir John, you shall want none.
Fal.
Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you shall want
none; I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment.
Even as you came in to me, her assistant, or go-between,
parted from me; I say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven;
for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband,
will be forth; come you to me at night, you shall know how
I speed.
Ford.
I am blest in your acquaintance: do you know Ford, Sir?
Fal.
Hang him, poor cuckoldy knave, I know him not: yet
I wrong him, to call him poor; they say the jealous wittolly
knave hath masses of mony, for the which his wife seems to me
well-favour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckold-rogue's
coffer; and there's my harvest-home.
Ford.
I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might avoid him,
if you saw him.
Fal.
Hang him, mechanical-salt-butter rogue; I will stare him
out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang
like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt
know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lye
with his wife: Come to me soon at night; Ford's a knave, and
I will aggravate his stile: thou, master Brook, shalt know him
for knave and cuckold: come to me soon at night.
[Exit.
George Sewell [1723–5], The works of Shakespear in six [seven] volumes. Collated and Corrected by the former Editions, By Mr. Pope ([Vol. 7] Printed by J. Darby, for A. Bettesworth [and] F. Fayram [etc.], London) [word count] [S11101].
