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I have been extremely ill &longs;ince I la&longs;t addressed
my dear Celia, occa&longs;ioned by the
violent agitation my &longs;pirits had undergone.
The morning after the di&longs;agreeable rencounter
mentioned in my la&longs;t, I found my&longs;elf much
indi&longs;po&longs;ed; but as it was the day intended
for Mrs. Rook&longs;by's departure, I aro&longs;e at the
u&longs;ual time and endeavoured to appear as
chearful as po&longs;&longs;ible, that the dear old lady
might not perceive the di&longs;tre&longs;s of my mind.
Rook&longs;by &longs;eemed in&longs;pired with the &longs;ame wi&longs;h
and though he had not &longs;poken to me during
the whole night, yet at breakfa&longs;t a&longs;&longs;umed
his u&longs;ual tenderne&longs;s of manner. It was with
infinite plea&longs;ure I learnt that Belger had &longs;et
out for town long before any of the family
were &longs;tirring, leaving only a card to my
mother pleading urgent bu&longs;ine&longs;s as his excu&longs;e
for &longs;o precipitate a departure, and wi&longs;hing
her intended journey might have the de&longs;ired

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effect and re&longs;tore her to perfect health. At
twelve o'clock the chariot drew up to the
door—I felt my &longs;pirits &longs;ink. I looked fir&longs;t
at my dear Amelia, then at my mother, and
taking a hand from each, pre&longs;&longs;ed them to
my heart and bur&longs;t into tears. It was in
vain any longer to hide my &longs;orrows—I &longs;aw
the&longs;e invaluable friends departing from me
at the very moment when I mo&longs;t wanted their
&longs;oothing attentions. I looked on my generous
benefactre&longs;s, perhaps, for the la&longs;t time.
Her wan cheek and emaciated frame, too
plainly announced her approaching dissolution.

I threw my arms round her—I endeavoured
to articulate an adieu—but words
were denied me.—“God ble&longs;s you, my dear
child,” &longs;aid &longs;he. “Clement, be tender of
her—comfort her—&longs;tudy her felicity—and
may Heaven &longs;hower its choice&longs;t ble&longs;&longs;ings on
you both.” She then took up my little
Clementina, and letting fall a tear as &longs;he
pre&longs;&longs;ed the &longs;miling Cherub to her bo&longs;om,
cried emphatically, “Oh thou &longs;weet angel!
Heaven grant that you may live to be an
honour to your father and a ble&longs;&longs;ing to your
mother—maye&longs;t thou be endowed with all
her virtues without any of his faults.” She
then once more embraced me and went to
the carriage. Amelia &longs;tayed behind a

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moment to comfort and re-a&longs;&longs;ure me. She bid
me keep up my &longs;pirits and tru&longs;t in that Power
for &longs;upport, who never yet for&longs;ook the
innocent.

Rook&longs;by accompanied them &longs;ome miles
on hor&longs;e back. I followed the chariot with
my eyes as long as I could, and then retiring
to my chamber, threw my&longs;elf on the
bed, and gave a loo&longs;e to unutterable &longs;orrow.
However the &longs;pirit may be afflicted, nature
exhau&longs;ted by various conflicts will in&longs;en&longs;ibly
&longs;ink under the balmy influence of &longs;leep.—
This was my ca&longs;e: I &longs;lept about two hours,
but awoke unrefre&longs;hed, and in acute pain.
My head ached, my tongue was parched,
and I had every &longs;ymptom of an approaching
fever. However I endeavoured to ri&longs;e and
dre&longs;s, to be ready to receive Rook&longs;by, as
he propo&longs;ed returning to dinner: but to this
ta&longs;k I was unequal. My head was giddy and
my limbs trembled. He&longs;ter, my woman,
was alarmed. She rang for the hou&longs;e-maid,
who ju&longs;t came in time to help to &longs;upport
me; for in attempting to go from my bedchamber
to the dre&longs;&longs;ing-room, I had fainted.
On recovering, I found much wor&longs;e consequences
were to be apprechended, than I had
at fir&longs;t imagined. I &longs;ent immediately for medical
a&longs;&longs;i&longs;tance and about four o'clock the
next morning, I was delivered of a dead

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child. For &longs;ome hours I was totally insenble,
and for more than a week my life was
de&longs;paired of. Rook&longs;by was frequent in his
enquiries after my health; but I could plainly
perceive, he thought more of the lo&longs;s of
his &longs;on than my evidently dangerous situation.
However it plea&longs;ed Heaven to re&longs;tore
me, though by &longs;low degrees, and the moment
the phy&longs;icians pronounced me able to
bear the fatigue of travelling, I &longs;et off for
London, vainly hoping that variety of &longs;cenes,
company and public amu&longs;ements would restore
in &longs;ome mea&longs;ure my lo&longs;t chearfulne&longs;s;
at lea&longs;t I thought it would bani&longs;h tho&longs;e corroding
reflections which gnawed and goaded
my poor lacerated heart. Oh! my beloved
Celia, Rook&longs;by no longer retains the smallest
degree of affection for me. In company
he is polite, but di&longs;tant; when by our&longs;elves
(which is indeed but &longs;eldom) he is cold, unkind,
and my Celia will hardly believe it, he
once on my gently remon&longs;trating on this
painful change, &longs;truck me, nay cur&longs;ed me,
and called me by a name, my &longs;oul &longs;hudders
to think on. That he hates and de&longs;pi&longs;es the
woman he once doated on is now become
too evident to be doubted; for he has never
returned to my apartment &longs;ince my illne&longs;s,
but occupies one in another part of the hou&longs;e.
Su&longs;an Mo&longs;&longs;op is with me. She is po&longs;&longs;e&longs;&longs;ed
of more tenderne&longs;s and goodne&longs;s of heart

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than I at fir&longs;t &longs;u&longs;pected. She labours incesantly
to amu&longs;e me, and though I cannot
partake of her chearfulne&longs;s, I am grateful
for her attention. He&longs;ter is married to a
man of genteel fortune, but from what I can
judge of the character of both, I think they
will pa&longs;s that kind of in&longs;ipid life &longs;o well described
by Prior in his epitaph on &longs;auntering
Jack and idle Joan.

I am ju&longs;t returned from an airing in Hyde
Park, and have been greatly a&longs;toni&longs;hed to
&longs;ee Clara there, whom I left in Devon&longs;hire.
She was on hor&longs;e-back, elegantly mounted
and attended by a &longs;ervant in livery. A confused
idea ran through my mind, when I
fir&longs;t &longs;aw her, yet &longs;urely &longs;he can never add
ingratitude to infamy, by &longs;educing the affections
of the hu&longs;band, when &longs;he has been
re&longs;cued from want and mi&longs;ery by the wife,
yet, what can have brought her to town, or
how is it po&longs;&longs;ible &longs;he can afford to appear in
the manner ju&longs;t de&longs;cribed.—

I am &longs;atisfied Rook&longs;by mu&longs;t &longs;till hold &longs;ome
intercour&longs;e with Clara. We have ju&longs;t had
a tete-a-tete in which he accu&longs;ed me of deceiving
him, of giving him my hand when

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my heart was devoted to another; and of
having been long acquainted with Belger,
with whom it was well known, I had an
illicit intercour&longs;e. Deare&longs;t Celia, imagine
the agonizing feelings of my heart on being
&longs;ubject to &longs;uch unju&longs;t, &longs;uch cruel &longs;u&longs;picions.
It was in vain I attempted to a&longs;&longs;ert my innocence;
he was well informed, he &longs;aid, of every
incident that had pa&longs;&longs;ed during my re&longs;idence
at Ken&longs;ington; that I had been the intimate
acquaintance of women of light characters;
that my own conduct in regard to Belger
was notoriou&longs;ly infamous, and that I was in
reality the exact rever&longs;e of what I had speciously
appeared to his mother, or &longs;he never
would &longs;o &longs;trenuou&longs;ly have pre&longs;&longs;ed our union.
Oh! my friend, would to heaven, I had trusted
to the dictates of my own judgment,
had been guided by the impul&longs;e of my heart
which &longs;trongly urged me to reject this man;
but compa&longs;&longs;ion, gratitude, and the combined
wi&longs;hes of tho&longs;e whom I mo&longs;t loved and respected,
operated &longs;o powerfully on my feelings,
that I was unable to with&longs;tand their
&longs;olicitations; and Heaven be my witne&longs;s,
I have not in one in&longs;tance &longs;ince I have been
united to Rook&longs;by infringed the &longs;malle&longs;t
duty incumbent on the &longs;acred character of
wife. A letter—it is from Amelia, Heaven
grant no ill news.—Read it Celia, I inclo&longs;e
it for your peru&longs;al, and wonder not that

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my fa&longs;t &longs;alling tears oblige me to bid you
adieu!—