I WAS obliged to &longs;end away my la&longs;t in
&longs;uch a hurry, I had no time to make the
lea&longs;t remark on Clara's letter. I will confe&longs;s
the &longs;tory it contained did not &longs;trike me as
altogether con&longs;i&longs;tent or probable; but I made
great allowances for that &longs;elf love, which
urges us ever to extenuate as much as possible
our errors; and endeavour to &longs;et our

[figure description] Page 102.[end figure description]

conduct in the faire&longs;t point of view. I al&longs;o remembered,
that whatever had been her errors,
&longs;he was now penitent and in di&longs;tre&longs;s;
and mu&longs;t, unle&longs;s &longs;ome friend &longs;tepped forward
to &longs;ave her, &longs;ink into an untimely grave. I
did not he&longs;itate in re&longs;olving to become that
friend, though I determined to keep the
whole affair concealed from Mrs. Rook&longs;by
and Mi&longs;s Sidney, and, indeed, I inwardly
wi&longs;hed that Rook&longs;by might not de&longs;ire to &longs;ee
Clara's confe&longs;&longs;ion, as by reading it he mu&longs;t
di&longs;cover that I had known her before, which
would immediately bring on an explanation
of her cruel behavior to me, which he would
not be very ready to overlook or pardon.—
Fortunately he never even expre&longs;&longs;ed the
&longs;lighte&longs;t de&longs;ire to know what &longs;he had &longs;aid.
I told him, &longs;he &longs;hould never want a friend,
while I had power to a&longs;&longs;i&longs;t her; and he seemed
perfectly &longs;atisfied of the &longs;incerity of my assertion.
Accordingly I wrote to her, informing
her if &longs;he would mention any place where
&longs;he would like to re&longs;ide, I would undertake to
pay her board and be&longs;ides allow &longs;omething
hand&longs;ome for other nece&longs;&longs;ary expences; but
recommended to her to fix her re&longs;idence in
the country, where there would be fewer
allurements to draw her from the laudable
re&longs;olutions &longs;he had formed of amendment.
I received for an&longs;wer, that the fondne&longs;s of a
mother impelled her to wi&longs;h her re&longs;idence

[figure description] Page 103.[end figure description]

might be in the neighborhood of Oak-hall,
and that &longs;he was perfectly &longs;atisfied with the
family, with whom &longs;he then was; but if I
di&longs;approved of her remaining there, &longs;he was
ready to remove to any other place I might
think more &longs;uitable.

I am a mother my&longs;elf, my dear Celia, and
I found it was impo&longs;&longs;ible to deny her reque&longs;t.
She is now &longs;ettled at the farm, and I have
ordered the two boys to be taken twice a
week to &longs;ee her, though under this restriction,
that &longs;he does not betray her&longs;elf to them,
as that would involve us all in confu&longs;ion at
the hall, as I am certain my mother and Mi&longs;s
Sidney would be greatly di&longs;plea&longs;ed with my
taking any intere&longs;t in her affairs, or &longs;uffering
her to be &longs;o near our habitation; &longs;he continues
the name of Moreton, and as &longs;he lives
retired, and I would hope a truly penitent
and virtuous life. She does not excite any
enquiries that might lead to a di&longs;covery.

IN CONTINUATION.

Augu&longs;t 3d.

La&longs;t night Mr. Belger arrived. I cannot
account for it, Celia, but the pre&longs;ence of
this man always di&longs;tre&longs;&longs;es and alarms me. I

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am never comfortable when he is in the family,
though it is only for a vi&longs;it of a few
hours. How I &longs;hall &longs;upport his company for
&longs;ix weeks or two months, I cannot tell. It
is a long time &longs;ince I have mentioned my
&longs;weet Clementina; believe me, were I to
give inclination the reins; I &longs;hould fill a whole
&longs;heet with accounts of the dear little cherub's
daily improvement. But, though the theme
would be delightful for a fond mother to expatiate
upon, I am &longs;en&longs;ible it would be but
in&longs;ipid, when offered to the peru&longs;al of one
who though intere&longs;ted in all my concerns,
never felt a mother's tenderne&longs;s, anxiety and
&longs;olicitude.

10th.

You will be &longs;urprized, my dear Celia,
when I tell you, I am become the lady Bountiful
of all our poor tenants and their families.
I walk round every morning or evening;
that the weather permits, and admini&longs;ter to
the de&longs;ea&longs;es of both body and mind. In the
fir&longs;t I am a&longs;&longs;i&longs;ted by a worthy apothecary,
who having a large &longs;hare of merit, Fortune
thought he had &longs;ufficient, and was therefore
extremely &longs;paring of her favours; &longs;o that
the poor man with a great deal of knowledge
in his head, much benevolence in his heart,
and a large family in his hou&longs;e, had but very

[figure description] Page 105.[end figure description]

little money in his pur&longs;e. I heard of him
by accident, and not being extremely well,
&longs;ent for him, though his unpowdered wig
and thread-bare coat would not have been a
recommendation, had I con&longs;ulted his appearance
only; but I chatted with him half an
hour &longs;everal mornings &longs;ucce&longs;&longs;ively, and found
his company more efficacious than his medicines;
for I was always better after his
vi&longs;its, the rea&longs;on of which was, I thought the
doctor him&longs;elf &longs;eemed happier. So one afternoon,
Amelia and I took a &longs;troll acro&longs;s the
park, and &longs;pent an hour or two with his
wife and her &longs;ix chubby, ro&longs;y cheeked children,
and at parting, contrived it &longs;o that at
the next vi&longs;it the doctor came neither in an
unpowdered wig or thread-bare coat; &longs;ince
which time he has con&longs;tantly been our e&longs;corte
in our vi&longs;its to the &longs;ick. I find money and
he finds phy&longs;ic, and I do a&longs;&longs;ure you we are
both very well plea&longs;ed with our &longs;everal departments.
Be&longs;ides you cannot think how
the doctor is ri&longs;ing in reputation, &longs;ince his
appearance is &longs;o mended. He is now often
&longs;een coming out of the doors of the wealthy,
which I hope pre&longs;ages he will one day become
wealthy him&longs;elf.

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13th.

I am extremely flurried and vexed, indeed
I think my evil genius prevailed, when
Rook&longs;by fir&longs;t formed an acquaintance with
Belger. The man is an unprincipled libertine,
and Amelia was greatly mi&longs;taken,
when &longs;he imagined any tie however &longs;acred,
would be re&longs;triction upon his licentious passion.—

Rook&longs;by had rode out la&longs;t evening, Amelia
was reading to Mrs. Rook&longs;by, and I imagining
Belger was with my hu&longs;band, took a
book in my hand and &longs;trolled out to indulge
a contemplative mood, which at that time
prevailed over my mind. I rambled farther
than I at fir&longs;t intended, and before
I was aware of it, the &longs;hades of night came
on.—The evening was remarkably fine,
the moon aro&longs;e veiled in a fleecy cloud,
which &longs;erved only to increa&longs;e the glory it
could not hide; a gentle zephyr whi&longs;pered
through the trees, and I felt a &longs;en&longs;ation
of gratitude, wonder and delight pervade
my &longs;oul; whil&longs;t admiring, I beheld the
beauty of the &longs;urrounding &longs;cene, at the top
of a walk at no great di&longs;tance from the hou&longs;e,
but on a little eminence, there is a summerhouse
greatly admired by all the family for

[figure description] Page 107.[end figure description]

the charming view it commands of an extensive
well cultivated country. In this place
I had been working in the morning, and in
pa&longs;&longs;ing it, recollected I had left my work-bag
there, in which was &longs;omething I wanted.
I therefore &longs;tepped in with a de&longs;ign of bringing
it away. The moon &longs;hone through the
windows full upon an organ which was placed
there for me to entertain my&longs;elf with,
and as I am fond of &longs;olemn mu&longs;ic, the stillness
of the evening and the &longs;erenity of every
&longs;urrounding object in&longs;pired me with a wi&longs;h
to touch the in&longs;trument. I therefore &longs;at
down, and following the impul&longs;e of my &longs;oul,
began the following Hymn to Gratitude:

[figure description] Page 108.[end figure description]

I had &longs;ung it over once, and was ju&longs;t repeating
the la&longs;t &longs;tanza with all the real fervour
which at that moment warmed my &longs;oul,
when hearing a foot&longs;tep, I turned round
and &longs;aw Mr. Belger enter the &longs;ummer hou&longs;e.

“So you are returned,” &longs;aid I, ri&longs;ing from
my &longs;eat; “but pray where is Rook&longs;by.”

“I have not been with him,” replied
Belger, “nor do I think he is returned. I
have been enjoying a far greater plea&longs;ure,
than any he can meet with abroad. I have
been li&longs;tening to your charming voice, which
with &longs;uch enthu&longs;ia&longs;tic fervour, has been pouring
forth the grateful emotions of your
&longs;oul.”

“I have been here &longs;ome time,” &longs;aid I
carele&longs;sly, “and I believe it is getting late.

[figure description] Page 109.[end figure description]

Pray do not let me interrupt your intended
ramble; but I am afraid of taking cold &longs;hould
I remain here any longer.”

“You mu&longs;t not go, deare&longs;t, lovelie&longs;t of
women, I cannot lo&longs;e this only opportunity
which I have had of &longs;peaking to you without
ob&longs;ervation. Hear me, pity me! From the
fir&longs;t moment, that I beheld you, my heart
has known neither joy nor peace. In every
place, in every hour, &longs;leeping or waking,
your image &longs;till pur&longs;ues me. I love, I doat
to madne&longs;s and yet have only the hope of
exciting your compa&longs;&longs;ion.”

“My contempt &longs;ir, you certainly excite,
by this unparalled effrontery. I thought Mr.
Belger had received my an&longs;wer on this subject
&longs;ome years &longs;ince, and am &longs;urprized however,
he then dared to in&longs;ult an unprotected
girl, that he &longs;hould &longs;uppo&longs;e he might with
impunity now repeat tho&longs;e in&longs;ults to the wife
of his friend.”

He li&longs;tened not to what I was &longs;aying, but
placing him&longs;elf between me and the door,
forcibly &longs;eized my hands, and was proceeding
to the mo&longs;t romantic profe&longs;&longs;ions of platonic
love, when I &longs;aw Mr. Rook&longs;by coming
up the walk. Agitated and di&longs;tre&longs;&longs;ed beyond
mea&longs;ure, I cried “cruel, per&longs;ecuting Belger,

[figure description] Page 110.[end figure description]

you have exepo&longs;ed me to the &longs;u&longs;picions of
my hu&longs;band, who mu&longs;t &longs;uppo&longs;e a guilty
a&longs;&longs;ignation has been the cau&longs;e of our being
alone here at this late hour.” I had not time
to &longs;ay more. Mr. Rook&longs;by entered. “why,
my dear Meriel” &longs;aid he, “do you &longs;tay out
thus late expo&longs;ing your&longs;ef to the dews of
the evening,” then perceiving Belger, he
added, “but you have company with you,
and, perhaps, I intrude on an agreeable
tete-a-tete.” I endeavoured to compo&longs;e my
agitated &longs;pirits, and an&longs;wer him in a &longs;tyle of
raillery; but it was impo&longs;&longs;ible. I di&longs;covered
by the manner in which he &longs;poke, that the
unhappy jealou&longs;y of his temper was awakened,
and that it would not be an ea&longs;y matter
to convince him, his &longs;u&longs;picions were without
foundation, I trembled, as I took hold of his
arm; and we proceeded in &longs;ilence to the
hou&longs;e. When we entered, my mother tenderly
expre&longs;&longs;ed her anxiety and fears of my
having taken cold, Amelia too gently chid
me for playing truant as &longs;he called it. I do not
know how I looked, but I am &longs;ure I felt very
di&longs;agreeably. Indeed, the raillery of Amelia,
the cold re&longs;erve of Rook&longs;by, and the humiliating
glances of Belger &longs;o powerfully affected
my feelings; that I pleaded indi&longs;po&longs;ition
and retired to my apartment, where I have
given vent to my tears, and in &longs;ome mea&longs;ure
ea&longs;ed my heart, by relating the cau&longs;e of my

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unea&longs;ine&longs;s to my friendly Celia. I fear,
it will be long before Rook&longs;by will again
look on me with tenderne&longs;s; and when I
recollect, the manner of my leaving Mrs.
Rook&longs;by and Amelia, the length of time I
was ab&longs;ent, and my being found at &longs;o late
an hour in the &longs;ummer hou&longs;e with Belger,
who no doubt had al&longs;o been rambling about
for &longs;ome time, though we had but that moment
met. All the&longs;e circum&longs;tances mu&longs;t
tend to make me appear guilty of impropriety,
if not imprudence. Again and again
I repeat it. Belger &longs;eems doomed to be the
bane of my happine&longs;s.

Amelia has ju&longs;t been with me. I informed
her of the cau&longs;e I had for unea&longs;ine&longs;s. She
blamed me for retiring &longs;o early, &longs;aying it
gave me an appearance of con&longs;cious guilt,
though &longs;he was fully &longs;en&longs;ible that every
thought of my heart was purity it&longs;elf; &longs;he
bade me a&longs;&longs;ume an air of cheerfulne&longs;s, as &longs;he
was afraid that the timid embarra&longs;&longs;ment that
mode&longs;ty and real innocence ever di&longs;covers,
when glanced on by the eye of &longs;u&longs;picion,
would only tend to encrea&longs;e the doubts
Rook&longs;by already harboured. But I hear
him coming. I mu&longs;t quit my pen and retire
to bed, though greatly I fear, not to re&longs;t.

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14th.

When Rook&longs;by entered the apartment, a
mixture of &longs;orrow, anger and di&longs;tre&longs;s &longs;at on
his countenance.—“I thought, madam,”
&longs;aid he, “you were indi&longs;po&longs;ed, as you retired
&longs;o early; but I &longs;ee you are not in bed yet;
but agreeable meditation is certainly more
plea&longs;ing, than the company of tho&longs;e we dislike.
Pray do not let me di&longs;turb your reverie.”—
“You &longs;peak in riddles, Mr. Rook&longs;by.
Who&longs;e company did you &longs;uppo&longs;e I fled from,
when I left the parlour. Solitude, indeed,
was more agreeable than to be in company,
and witne&longs;s the frown of di&longs;plea&longs;ure that &longs;at
on your countenance. It was not the headach
impelled me to retire; it was a pain
more acute.”—I could not proceed, but
laying my hand on my bo&longs;om, the involuntary
tear choaked my utterance.

“My beloved Meriel, “&longs;aid he, &longs;itting
down by me, and &longs;peaking in a &longs;oftened accent,
“do not weep. Tho&longs;e precious tears would
melt a heart of adamant: think then, how
much they mu&longs;t di&longs;tre&longs;s one who glows with
unutterable tenderne&longs;s toward you.”

“Ah Rook&longs;by, why, if you really experience
&longs;uch tender emotions in my favour,

[figure description] Page 113.[end figure description]

why have you wounded my heart, by uttering
&longs;uch unkind, I may &longs;ay, cruel &longs;u&longs;picions.”

“Meriel”, &longs;aid he, looking at me intently,
“did you not confe&longs;s you knew Belger
&longs;ome time &longs;ince at Ken&longs;ington.”

“Mo&longs;t a&longs;&longs;uredly, I did.”

“And during the time of your acquaintance
there, did he never expre&longs;s his admiration—
his e&longs;teem—his love to you.”

“How can you a&longs;k &longs;uch a que&longs;tion? He
was at that time”—

“Married, you would &longs;ay,” cried he, interrupting
me, “but I know he was not, and
I remember hearing him once &longs;peak of a
beautiful creature, he knew at that place,
who had more power over his heart than all
the re&longs;t of the &longs;ex put together.”

“And therefore, it follows,” &longs;aid I, “that
I mu&longs;t be the per&longs;on he meant (attempting
a &longs;mile.) My dear Rook&longs;by, if you have
&longs;uch an opinion of your Meriel's attractions,
&longs;he has a far more humble one of her&longs;elf.”

“But you had certainly been indulging
him, this evening, with a long tete-a-tete.”

[figure description] Page 114.[end figure description]

“You are mi&longs;taken, He had not been
in the &longs;ummer hou&longs;e above three minutes
before you joined us.”

“There is &longs;uch an ingenuous frankne&longs;s
in your manner, dear girl, that it would
be almo&longs;t a crime to doubt of your &longs;incerity.
Yet when I reflect”—

In &longs;aying this, he &longs;tarted up and &longs;triking
his forehead with his hand, he cried, “the&longs;e
doubts will un&longs;ettle my rea&longs;on”—I was terrified,
and ri&longs;ing from my &longs;eat endeavoured
to &longs;ooth him. He took my hand and pressing
it to his lips, &longs;aid, “I cannot credit
aught to your di&longs;advantage. Your countenance
is &longs;o expre&longs;&longs;ive of innocence, that it
is impo&longs;&longs;ible to believe you otherwi&longs;e. Forgive
my ungenerous conduct. It is the fault
of my nature. Forget it, and I will be careful
how I offend again.” You may be &longs;ure,
I was not backward in promi&longs;ing a total forgetfulness
of this painful event: but I am
&longs;en&longs;ible, my dear Celia, it is impo&longs;&longs;ible to
keep my promi&longs;e, for though we all met this
morning in the &longs;ame &longs;ocial manner as u&longs;ual,
I felt &longs;uch a re&longs;traint upon my&longs;elf whenever
Belger addre&longs;&longs;ed me, and an&longs;wered the mo&longs;t
trifling que&longs;tions with &longs;uch evident imbarassment,
that to even an indifferent &longs;pectator I
mu&longs;t have appeared &longs;trangely agitated.

[figure description] Page 115.[end figure description]

Indeed, my friend, I began to wi&longs;h I had
not concealed from Mr. Rook&longs;by any thing,
that pa&longs;&longs;ed during my re&longs;idence at Kensington.
If I had informed him of Belger's unprincipled
behaviour to me at that place he
might not have renewed his intimacy, but I
always have an objection to relating any tale
whereof I am my&longs;elf the heroine, and in
this point I avoided it, fearing to incur the
imputation of vanity, and in &longs;o doing, I have
incurred that of guilt.—To mention the&longs;e
circum&longs;tances now would be impo&longs;&longs;ible, as
it would only tend to confirm Rook&longs;by's
&longs;u&longs;picions, perhaps engage him in a quarrel
with Belger and by making it a public affair,
ca&longs;t a blemi&longs;h on my reputation, which no
future conduct will ever wipe off. But I think
through the whole cour&longs;e of my life I have
been particularly unfortunate in having my
mo&longs;t innocent actions mi&longs;con&longs;trued, and
though my own bo&longs;om conceals not a wi&longs;h
which does not tend to the univer&longs;al happine&longs;s
of mankind in general. I have never wanted
enemies, who are ever ready to catch at
the errors, to which frail mortality is liable;
and magnify them into crimes.—I have
however a &longs;weet con&longs;olation Celia. My heart
is con&longs;cious of its own integrity and relies on
that Power, who knows its innocence to support
it through every trial, which in His wisdom
He may &longs;ee proper to lay upon it. This

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is a con&longs;olation of which no afflicton, however
&longs;evere, can rob me.

Mrs. Rook&longs;by is I fear, in a declining
&longs;tate of health. Age and its attendant infirmities
bend her frame to the earth; but
her mind is &longs;till in full vigour. She is the
&longs;ame pious, re&longs;igned chearful chri&longs;tian, as
ever: and her company is equally &longs;ought by
the young as well as by tho&longs;e more nearly
of her own years. A journey to the &longs;outh
of France is judged nece&longs;&longs;ary for her the
en&longs;uing winter. Mr. Rook&longs;by does not wi&longs;h
to leave England; &longs;o I have not hinted my
de&longs;ire of accompanying her. Indeed, my
pre&longs;ent &longs;ituation would render travelling dangerous,
Amelia goes with her, and I mean
to invite Su&longs;an Mo&longs;&longs;op to &longs;pend the winter
with me in town, not that I expect to reap
much plea&longs;ure from her &longs;ociety; but I think
a re&longs;idence in my family may be of &longs;ervice
to her; and &longs;hould any proper match offer,
the want of a fortune &longs;hall not be an ob&longs;tacle,
Adieu my friend, your's ever.

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