LETTER XXII. MISS HOWARD TO MR. RAINSFORTH.
London, November 16th, 1776.
“Adieu, forever,” did you &longs;ay: no,
Rainsforth, no! we &longs;hall yet meet
many times, our &longs;ouls are congenial; they
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were animated the by &longs;ame &longs;park of intellectual
fire, and tho' we cannot claim a nearer
tie, we &longs;hall be friends to the late&longs;t hour
of our exi&longs;tence.
My generous, noble friend, I do not blu&longs;h
to &longs;ay my e&longs;teem, (nay call it love, if you
will) is increa&longs;ed by this proof of your magnanimity;
call it not a re&longs;ignation, I am
your's I will never be another's; unle&longs;s I
can find one your &longs;uperior in every virtue,
that can exalt and dignify human nature,
and in &longs;aying that, I think I am irrevocably
bound to you. There may be men who
po&longs;&longs;e&longs;s equal goodne&longs;s of heart, but there
can be none who can boa&longs;t a &longs;uperiority.
I am &longs;en&longs;ibly affected at your father's misfortunes;
would to heaven it was in my
power to remove every affliction far from
him. Not &longs;o much from the idea that his
troubles have interrupted my happine&longs;s;
but that I am certain your feeling heart suffers
tho&longs;e misfortunes doubly, in &longs;eeing
them inflicted on one &longs;o de&longs;ervedly dear to
you. But let us look forward my friend;
the pro&longs;pect is not &longs;o dark, but that the &longs;un of
pro&longs;perity may yet brake forth to enliven it;
you may yet live to &longs;ee your father reinstated
in the afluence, from which he is at present
removed by an all-wife Providence,
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only to teach him the value of pa&longs;t ble&longs;&longs;ings.
We never know rightly, how to prize a benefit,
till we have known what it is to lo&longs;e
it; I write feelingly Rainsforth, for, I knew
not half your worth till the very moment that
I &longs;aw an in&longs;uperable barrier placed between us,
and now I wi&longs;h I had li&longs;tened to your solicitations,
for then at this moment I might have
admini&longs;tered comfort to your drooping spirits,
and a&longs;&longs;i&longs;ted in the delightful ta&longs;k of
&longs;oothing the &longs;orrows of your parents. But
why &longs;hould I be &longs;o &longs;elfi&longs;h, the plea&longs;ure would
have been all my own; for &longs;ure I knew
your generous heart too well, to &longs;uppo&longs;e it
would not have &longs;uffered from the idea of
my &longs;haring in afflictions, which could not
have been prevented, and hardly admit of
any aleviation. To &longs;ay I felt nothing when
I read your pathetic letter, would be to pronounce
my&longs;elf in&longs;en&longs;ible. Believe me, I felt
all; nay, perhaps more than you could have
wi&longs;hed; however, of this be a&longs;&longs;ured, that
nothing but a total change in you can occation
any alteration in my &longs;entiments. If it
will be more conducive to your happine&longs;s;
here let the corre&longs;pondence cea&longs;e, and &longs;hould
you hereafter meet a woman, who&longs;e merits
and fortune render her worthy your attachment;
may you be as happy in the union
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as the lot of mortallity will allow. Adieu,
every kind wi&longs;h of my heart is your's.
MERIEL HOWARD.
Rowson, Mrs., 1762-1824 [1795], Trials of the human heart, volume 1 ('printed for the author, by Wrigley & Berriman', Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf328v1].