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Rowson, Mrs., 1762-1824 [1795], Trials of the human heart, volume 1 ('printed for the author, by Wrigley & Berriman', Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf328v1].
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LETTER XXI. MR. RAINSFORTH to MISS HOWARD, (Enclo&longs; ed in the preceding. ) Plymouth, November 13th, 1776.

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Will my dear Meriel believe that it is
with pain I take up my pen to address
her; that I am at lo&longs;s for words, yet
ardently long to pour out my &longs;oul before her.
I have braved the perils of the &longs;ea, my love, I
am &longs;afe arrived at my de&longs;tined port, but not
within &longs;ight of happine&longs;s. Alas! that golden
dream which has buoyed me up, and cheered
me whil&longs;t ab&longs;ent from all my &longs;oul held
dear, is vani&longs;hed. The lovely prize which I
thought would have rewarded all my hardships,
is wre&longs;ted from me. Oh! beloved
Meriel, I am lo&longs;t, forlorn, and wretched.
You never can be mine, Meriel: never! Oh
my heart, yet hold a little, bur&longs;t not till I
have told my gentle love, how much this

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resignation co&longs;ts me. But I am a beggar, and
&longs;hall I marry thee, my deare&longs;t girl, and bring
a wretched race of innocents into a life of penury
and woe. Shall I lead my gentle Meriel
to the altar, when I am certain our only
patrimony will be want and mi&longs;ery. Oh no!
humanity! honor! love! forbid it.

My father is a bankrupt, nor has he &longs;aved
enough from the wreck of his fortune to support
even for a few months, his wife and three
&longs;mall children: and &longs;hall not I, who received
from him life, education, every valuable
gift: &longs;hall not I prefer his happine&longs;s to my
own? Yes, my adored Meriel, I will, dear as
thou art to this fond doating heart; I will renounce
even thee, and devote my little income
to the &longs;upport of my father and his family.

Adieu my &longs;weet love, may balmy peace,
with healing on her wing de&longs;cend to thy
lovely bo&longs;om, maye&longs;t thou, (for it will be
nece&longs;&longs;ary to thy peace) bani&longs;h the haple&longs;s
Rainsforth from my mind; or think only of
him as one lo&longs;t to thee, the world, and to himself.
And may you, with &longs;ome happier, worthier
youth, find every ble&longs;&longs;ing, every earthly
comfort: but be a&longs;&longs;ured, whil&longs;t I retain
the lea&longs;t trace of memory, you, and you only,
&longs;hall po&longs;&longs;e&longs;s the affections of my heart.

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Whil&longs;t life remains you will be the deare&longs;t object
of my fond wi&longs;hes; and when called from
this tran&longs;itory &longs;cene, my la&longs;t breath will be
&longs;pent in a prayer for your happine&longs;s. Adieu,
dear amiable Mi&longs;s Howard: may the choicest
gifts of heaven be &longs;howered on you. Oh!
how my heart bleeds while I write. Beloved
of my &longs;oul, farewell forever.

FREDERIC RAINSFORTH.
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Rowson, Mrs., 1762-1824 [1795], Trials of the human heart, volume 1 ('printed for the author, by Wrigley & Berriman', Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf328v1].
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