[figure description] Page 087.[end figure description]

Taking advantage of the humiliated
&longs;tate of mind in which the bog-trotter now
was, from the late cow&longs;kining, he had
received, the Captain thought he could
be drawn off from an extreme attention
to the ladies, and engaged to apply to the
qualifying him&longs;elf for &longs;tate affairs. Accordingly
continuing his addre&longs;s to him,
he ob&longs;erved, that though gallantry and
waiting upon ladies, was very agreeable,
yet prudence ought to be ob&longs;erved not to
create enemies, by &longs;eeming to engro&longs;s
their attachment, &longs;o as to put a man in
danger of duels, and cow&longs;kinings: at the
&longs;ame time it behooved a man not to &longs;uffer
his gallantry to interfere with bu&longs;ine&longs;s;
and more e&longs;pecially in the early &longs;tages
when he was about qualifying him&longs;elf for
any occupation, or appointment; that, as
he (Teague O'Regan) was a candidate
for &longs;tate affairs, he ought to check his

[figure description] Page 088.[end figure description]

career, and withdraw him&longs;elf for &longs;ome time
from the gay circles, in order to acquire
&longs;ome &longs;mall things which were nece&longs;&longs;ary to
the creditable and convenient di&longs;charge of
a public function; &longs;uch as learning to
write his name if po&longs;&longs;ible. As to learning
to read, or write generally that would
be a thing of years, if at all acquirable at
his period of life; but he might be taught
to imitate the few characters that composed
his name, in &longs;uch a manner as to pa&longs;s
for it; &longs;o that when he had to &longs;ign dispatches
or commi&longs;&longs;ions, or the like, he need
not be under the nece&longs;&longs;ity of making his
mark, like an Indian at a treaty; but
might do &longs;omething that would pa&longs;s for a
&longs;ignature in letters of the alphabet. So
providing him with a room, and placing
a table before him with an ink&longs;tand, and
&longs;trewing &longs;ome papers, and furni&longs;hing him
with &longs;pectacles, as if he was already making
out di&longs;patches, he began to in&longs;truct
him in making the letters, T, E, A, G,
U, E, &c.

But he had &longs;carcely begun, when the
waiter coming in, delivered a parcel of
cards, and billets for Major O'Regan.
The Captain in&longs;tantly reflecting that this
corre&longs;pondence with the gay world would
undo all that he was doing, and draw off the

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bog-trotter from his le&longs;&longs;ons, as &longs;oon as
the &longs;mart of the cow&longs;kining had worn off,
&longs;aw it nece&longs;&longs;ary to read the billets as from
different per&longs;ons, and containing language
different from what was in them.
The cards being chiefly from men in public
employment, he read as they really were.
Opening one of the large&longs;t of the billets,
aye, &longs;aid he, there is more of it. Do you
know this John&longs;ton that &longs;eems &longs;o much
enraged about Mi&longs;s Mu&longs;lin to whom you
have paid &longs;ome attention? by the bye, it
was a billet from Mi&longs;s Mu&longs;lin, to who&longs;e
acquaintance it would &longs;eem he had been introduced;
but the Captain read John&longs;ton.
By de holy fathers, &longs;aid Teague, I know
no John&longs;ton. He &longs;ends you a challenge,
&longs;aid the Captain, to meet him on the commons
this evening at &longs;ix o'clock, with a
brace of pi&longs;tols and a &longs;econd to determine
whether you or he has the be&longs;t right to
pay attention to this lady. We &longs;hall give
the billet as written by the lady, and as
read by the Captain.

Would wi&longs;h to have the plea&longs;ure of
Major O'Regan's company this evening at
tea. Lawyer Crabtree and Doctor Drug
will be here; and you know we &longs;hall &longs;plit

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our &longs;ides laughing at the ninnies. You're
&longs;o full of your jokes that I want you here.
Dear Major, don't be engaged; but come.

SIR,

You will in&longs;tantly do one of two things,
either relinqui&longs;h your attention to Mi&longs;s
Mu&longs;lin, and be no more in her company;
or meet me this evening preci&longs;ely at &longs;ix
o'clock, on the commons the back of the
Potter's-field, with a brace of pi&longs;tols, and
a &longs;econd, to take a &longs;hot. I &longs;hall have a
coffin ready, and a grave dug, for which
ever of us &longs;hall have occa&longs;ion to make u&longs;e
of it.

In the &longs;ame manner, he read the other
billets, converting them from love letters
into challenges to fight with mortal weapons,
or into declarations of cudgeling,
and cow&longs;kining if he interfered any farther
in his attentions to &longs;uch and &longs;uch ladies.

The bog-trotter began to think the devil
was broke loo&longs;e upon him, and very

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readily gave the Captain leave to write
an&longs;wers, declining all combats, and declaring
his compliance with all that was requested
of him.

The waiter was the only per&longs;on who
by receiving the billets, and handing them
in the ab&longs;ence of the Captain, and reading
them to Teague, might inflame his mind
with the thoughts of the fine ladies, and
gay circles, from which he &longs;eemed to be ju&longs;t
recovered: taking him a&longs;ide, therefore,
and acco&longs;ting him, Mathew, &longs;aid he, for
that was the name of the waiter, I do
not know that I ought to find any fault
with your giving your &longs;ervice for &longs;ome
time pa&longs;t, to my Teague, in reading the
billets directed to him, and in writing his
an&longs;wers; but I de&longs;ire that there may be
nothing more of this. As he is about to
be clo&longs;ely engaged for &longs;ome time to come,
in acquiring &longs;ome &longs;cholar&longs;hip, and preparing
to enter on &longs;ome &longs;tate appointment,
I do not chu&longs;e that his mind &longs;hould be taken
off by affairs of compliment or love.
All billets therefore directed to him, you
will for the future hand to me. The waiter
promi&longs;ed compliance, and &longs;aid it was
all the &longs;ame thing to him, as all he had
done, was to oblige the bog-trotter, and

[figure description] Page 092.[end figure description]

if it was di&longs;agreeable to him (the Captain)
he &longs;hould do no more of it.

However, Teague continuing &longs;till to
have &longs;ome hankering after the company of
the ladies, &longs;o as not to have his mind &longs;o
much upon learning to write the characters
of his name as the Captain could have
wi&longs;hed, he found it nece&longs;&longs;ary to engage
the bar-keeper to a&longs;&longs;i&longs;t him in per&longs;onating
now and then, &longs;ome one who had come
to demand &longs;atisfaction for the interference
of the bog-trotter in affairs of love, that
by keeping up the alarm on his mind, he
might the better confine him to his &longs;tudies.
According to the plan agreed upon the
bar-keeper knocking at the door, and the
Captain opening it a little, and demanding
his bu&longs;ine&longs;s; is there not a Major O'Regan
here, he would &longs;ay (with a counterfeited
voice) who has preten&longs;ions to Mi&longs;s Nubbin?
(one of tho&longs;e who had &longs;ent billets) I
wi&longs;h to &longs;ee the gentleman, and try if I can
put this &longs;word in his body; (by the bye he
had a long &longs;word) God love your &longs;houl,
would O'Regan &longs;ay, dear Captain, don't
let him in. I &longs;hall die wid fear upon de
&longs;pot here; for I never fought a man in
cold blood in my life. Here the bar-keeper
as recognizing the voice of O'Regan;
yes, would he &longs;ay, I find he is here, let

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me in, that I may put this through him;
I had paid my addre&longs;&longs;es to Mi&longs;s Nubbin,
and was ju&longs;t about to e&longs;pou&longs;e her, when,
unlike a gentleman, he has interferred,
and turned her head with his attention.
By the New Jeru&longs;alem I &longs;hall be through
his wind pipe in a &longs;econd. Teague hearing
this and rai&longs;ing the Iri&longs;h howl, would redouble
his entreaties to the Captain not to
let him in. The Captain would &longs;ay, Sir,
if you mean to make a pa&longs;s at him, you
mu&longs;t make it through me; for I &longs;hall not
&longs;tand to &longs;ee a dome&longs;tic run through the
body, and his guts out, while mine are
in. You may therefore de&longs;i&longs;t, or I &longs;hall
have you taken into cu&longs;tody, as a breaker
of the peace, With this he would &longs;hut
the door, and the bar-keeper would go
off cur&longs;ing and &longs;wearing that he would
have revenge for the in&longs;ult that had been
offered him, by the Iri&longs;hman.

By the&longs;e artifices, certainly innocent
as the object was good; for it can be no
injury to deceive a man to his own advantage;
by the&longs;e artifices, the Captain succeeded,
in preventing a corre&longs;pondence
with the gay world, and detaching the
mind of his pupil, from the gallantries of
love. But when any member of Congre&longs;s
or officer of &longs;tate called upon him, he

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was admitted. Traddle called frequently,
and declared that he had no re&longs;entment
on account of Teague's propo&longs;ing to be
his competitor, at the election in the country;
but wi&longs;hed him &longs;ucce&longs;s in obtaining
&longs;ome appointment where his talents might
be u&longs;eful.