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PROCEEDING four or five miles,
they breakfa&longs;ted; and afterwards, going
on a mile or two further, they came
to a church where a number of people
were convened, to hear the deci&longs;ion of an
eccle&longs;ia&longs;tical con&longs;i&longs;tory, met there on an
affair which came before them. It was
this: Two men appeared, the one of a
grave a&longs;pect, with a black coat; the other
without the &longs;ame clerical colour of garb;
but with papers in his pocket which announced
his authority to preach, and officiatate
as a clergyman. The man with
the black coat, averred, that coming over
together, in a ve&longs;&longs;el from Ireland, they
had been me&longs;&longs;mates; and while he was
a&longs;leep one night, being drow&longs;y after

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prayers, the other had &longs;tolen his credentials
from his pocket. The man in po&longs;&longs;e&longs;&longs;ion
of the papers, averred they were his own,
and that the other had taken his coat, and
by advantage of the cloth, thought to pa&longs;s
for what he was not.

The con&longs;i&longs;tory found it difficult, without
the aid of in&longs;piration, to decide; and that
faculty having now cea&longs;ed, there were no
other means, that they could &longs;ee, to bring
the truth to light.

The Captain being informed of this perplexity,
could not avoid &longs;tepping up, and
addre&longs;&longs;ing them as follows: Gentlemen,
&longs;aid he, there is a text in your own Scripture,
which, I think, might enable you to
decide: It is this, “by their fruits you &longs;hall
know them.” Let the two men preach;
and the be&longs;t &longs;ermon take the pur&longs;e; or laying
a&longs;ide the figure, let him that expounds
the &longs;cripture be&longs;t, be adjudged the clergyman.

The propo&longs;ition &longs;eemed rea&longs;onable, and
was adopted; the competitors being desired
to withdraw a little, and conn over their
notes, that they might be ready to deliver
a di&longs;cour&longs;e re&longs;pectively.

The Captain ob&longs;erving the countenance
of him in po&longs;&longs;e&longs;&longs;ion of the papers, was

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sensible, from his palene&longs;s, and dejection of aspect,
that he was the impo&longs;tor. Going out
therefore &longs;hortly after, and falling in with
him, as he walked in a melancholy mood,
at a little di&longs;tance from the church, &longs;aid he
to him, I perceive how it is, that the other
is the preacher; neverthele&longs;s I would wi&longs;h
to a&longs;&longs;i&longs;t you, and as I have been the means
of bringing you into this predicament, I
&longs;hould be di&longs;po&longs;ed to bring you out.—Let
me know how the ca&longs;e really &longs;tands.

The other candidly acknowledged that
having been a yarn-merchant in Ireland,
his capital had failed, and he had thought
proper to embark for this country; and
coming over with this clergyman, he had
purloined his papers; and would have taken
his coat, had it not been too little for
him; a thing which never &longs;truck the ecclesiastical
tribunal. But the matter being
now reduced to an actual experiment of talents,
he was at a lo&longs;s; for he had never
preached a &longs;ermon in his life. It was true,
he had heard &longs;ermons and lectures in abundance;
and had he been &longs;uffered to go
on and preach at his lei&longs;ure among&longs;t the
country people fir&longs;t, he might have done
well enough; but to make his fir&longs;t e&longs;&longs;ay
in the pre&longs;ence of a learned body of the

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clergy, would hazard a detection; but
now he &longs;aw his over&longs;ight in not having taken
the notes of the other, at the &longs;ame
time he took the vouchers of his mi&longs;&longs;ion.

The Captain encouraged him, by observing,
that there were few bodies, ecclesiastical
or civil, in which there were more than
one or two men of &longs;en&longs;e; that the majority
of this con&longs;i&longs;tory, might be as ea&longs;ily
humbugged, as the lay people; that a good
deal would depend on the text that he took;
&longs;ome were ea&longs;ily preached upon; others
more difficult. An hi&longs;torical pa&longs;&longs;age about
Nimrod, or Nebuchadnezzar, or Sihon,
king of the Amorites, or Og, king of
Ba&longs;han; out of Gene&longs;is, or Deuteronomy,
or the book of Judges, or Kings, would
do very well; but that he &longs;hould avoid
carefully the book of Job, and the P&longs;alms
of David, and the Proverbs of Solomon;
the&longs;e requiring a con&longs;iderable theological
knowledge; or, at lea&longs;t, moral di&longs;cu&longs;&longs;ion
and reflection. Keep a good heart, &longs;aid
he, and attempt the matter. The i&longs;&longs;ue
may be better than you apprehend.

With this, taking him a little further to
the one &longs;ide, where his hor&longs;e was tied, he
took out a bottle from his &longs;addle-bags, with
a little whi&longs;ky in it, which Teague had put

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there, and gave him a dram. This had a
good effect, and rai&longs;ed his &longs;pirits, and he
&longs;eemed now ready to enter the li&longs;ts with
his antagoni&longs;t.

The other, in the mean time, had gone
in, and was ready, when called upon, to
hold forth. The man with the papers returning,
with the Captain not far behind,
took his &longs;eat. The board &longs;ignified, that
one or other might a&longs;cend the pulpit. The
credential man, wi&longs;hing to gain time, to
think farther what he was about to &longs;ay,
but affecting politene&longs;s, yielded precedence
to the other, and de&longs;ired him to
preach fir&longs;t. Accordingly &longs;tepping up, he
took his text and began.

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Prov. viii. 33. Hear in&longs;truction and be wi&longs;e,
and refu&longs;e it not.

INSISTING on the&longs;e words, I &longs;hall
enquire, 1. Whence it is that men are
aver&longs;e to in&longs;truction. 2. The misfortune
of this di&longs;po&longs;ition. La&longs;tly, Conclude
with inferences from the &longs;ubject.

1. Whence it is that men are adver&longs;e to
in&longs;truction. The fir&longs;t principle is indolence.
The mind loves ea&longs;e, and does not wi&longs;h to
be at the trouble of thinking. It is hard
to collect ideas, and &longs;till harder to compo&longs;e
them; it is like rowing a boat: whereas,
acting without thought, is like &longs;ailing before
the wind, and the tide in our favour.

The &longs;econd principle is pride. It wounds
the &longs;elf love of men, to &longs;uppo&longs;e that they
need in&longs;truction. We re&longs;ent more the
being called fools than knaves. No man

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will own him&longs;elf weak and uninformed.
In fact, he has not humility to think he
is: or, if he &longs;hould be con&longs;cious of a want
of knowledge, he is unwilling that others
&longs;hould have the &longs;ame opinion: and he will
not &longs;ubmit to be in&longs;tructed, as that would
imply that he is not already &longs;o.

The third principle is pa&longs;&longs;ion. When
we are di&longs;po&longs;ed to &longs;atisfy the de&longs;ires of
the con&longs;titution, or the affections of the
mind, which are unlawful, we do not wi&longs;h
to hear di&longs;&longs;ua&longs;ion from the indulgence.
The lecture comes to torment before the
time, when the con&longs;equence mu&longs;t afflict.

Under the &longs;econd head, we &longs;hall &longs;hew
the misfortune of this di&longs;po&longs;ition. It is what,
in early life, begins to fix the difference of
per&longs;ons. The hearer of in&longs;truction, even
with more moderate parts, becomes the
more &longs;en&longs;ible boy. The hearer of instruction
has a better chance for life and mature
years. Into how many dangers do
young per&longs;ons run; leaping, climbing,
running, playing truant, and neglecting
books? Into what affrays too will pa&longs;&longs;ions
prompt them, when they begin to feel the
&longs;inew &longs;trong, and the manly nerve braced?
They value corporeal &longs;trength, which they

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have in common with the hor&longs;e, or the ox,
and neglect the cultivation of the mind,
which is the glory of our nature. What
is a man without information? In form
only above a bea&longs;t. What is a man, negligent
of moral duty? Wor&longs;e than a
bea&longs;t; becau&longs;e, he is de&longs;titute of that by
which he might be governed, and of which
his nature is capable; and without which,
he is more dangerous, in proportion as he
is more ingenious.

I &longs;hall conclude with inferences from the
&longs;ubject.

It may be &longs;een hence, with what attention
we ought to hear, and with what observation,
&longs;ee. The five &longs;en&longs;es are the avenues
of knowledge; but the reflection of
the mind on ideas pre&longs;ented, is the &longs;ource
of wi&longs;dom. Under&longs;tanding is better than
riches; for under&longs;tanding leads to compotcency,
and to know how to u&longs;e it. Laying
a&longs;ide, therefore, all indolence, pride,
and pa&longs;&longs;ion, let us hear in&longs;truction, and
be wi&longs;e, and refu&longs;e it not.

This, reverend brethren, is a &longs;hort sermon.
It is one in miniature; like the model
of a mechanical invention, which is
complete in its parts, and from whence

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may be &longs;een the powers of the inventor.
I did not intend to take up your time with
a long di&longs;cour&longs;e; becau&longs;e, ex pede Herculem;
you may know what I can do by
this e&longs;&longs;ay.

The fact is, I am regularly bred, and
licen&longs;ed; but this my competitor, is no
more than a yarn merchant; who, failing
in his trade, has adventured to this country:
And coming over in the ve&longs;&longs;el with
me, took the opportunity one night, when
I was a&longs;leep, and picked my fob of the&longs;e
papers, which he now &longs;hews.

Thus having &longs;poke, he de&longs;cended.

The other, in the mean time, had been
at his wits end what to do. The technical
difficulty of taking a text, and dividing
it under &longs;everal heads, and splitting
each head into branches, and pur&longs;uing
each with &longs;uch &longs;trickne&longs;s, that the thoughts
&longs;hould be ranged under each which belonged
to it, as exactly as you would
the coar&longs;er yarn with the coar&longs;er, and
the finer with the finer; or put balls with
balls, and hanks with hanks. At la&longs;t he
had determined to take no text at all; as
it was much better to take none, than to
take one and not &longs;tick to it.

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Accordingly, he re&longs;olved to preach up and down
the &longs;cripture, wherever he could get a
word of &longs;ea&longs;onable doctrine. Mounting the
pulpit, therefore, he began as follows:

The fir&longs;t man that we read of was Adam,
and fir&longs;t woman Eve: &longs;he was tempted
by the &longs;erpent, and eat the forbidden
fruit. After this &longs;he conceived and bare
a &longs;on, and called his name Cain; and
Cain was a tiller of the ground, and Abel
a keeper of &longs;heep; for &longs;he conceived and
bare a &longs;econd &longs;on, and called his name
Abel. And Cain &longs;lew Abel. There were
&longs;everal generations unto the flood, when
Noah built an ark, and &longs;aved him&longs;elf and
his family. After the flood, Abraham begat
I&longs;aac, and I&longs;aac begat Jacob, and Jacob
begat Jo&longs;eph and his brethren. Potiphar's
wife, in Egypt, took a fancy for
Jo&longs;eph, and ca&longs;t him in ward; and Potiphar
was a captain of Pharaoh's guards;
and Jo&longs;eph interpreted Pharaoh's dream
of the lean cattle; and there were twelve
years famine in the land; and Mo&longs;es passed
for the &longs;on of Pharaoh's daughter,
and married Jethro's daughter, in the land
of Midian, and brought the I&longs;raelites out
of the land of Egypt; and Jo&longs;hua the &longs;on

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of Nun, and Caleb the &longs;on Jephunneh;
and the walls of Jericho fell down at the
&longs;ound of ram's horns; and Samp&longs;on &longs;lew
a thou&longs;and with the jaw-bone of an a&longs;s;
and Delilah the harlot; and Gideon, and
Barak, and Jephthah, and Abinoam the
Giliaditi&longs;h; and Samuel, and Saul, and
the prophets; and Jonathan, and David;
and Solomon built him an hou&longs;e; and silver
was plenty as the &longs;treet &longs;tones in Jerusalem;
Rehoboam, and Jeho&longs;ophat, and
the kings of I&longs;rael and Juda; Daniel was
ca&longs;t into the lions' den; and Shadrach,
Me&longs;hach, and Abed-nego; and I&longs;aiah and
Jeremiah; and Zachariah, and Zerobabel;
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the
apo&longs;tles; Mary Magdalene, out of whom
were ca&longs;t &longs;even devils; and the father of
Zebedee's children; and Pontius Pilate,
and the high prie&longs;t, and Ananias and Sapphira,
and the &longs;even trumpets, in the Revelations,
and the dragon, and the woman.
Amen. I add no more.

The lay people pre&longs;ent were mo&longs;t plea&longs;ed
with the la&longs;t di&longs;cour&longs;e; and &longs;ome of the
younger of the clergy: But the more aged,
gave the preference to the fir&longs;t. Thus it
&longs;eemed difficult to decide.

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The Captain ri&longs;ing up, &longs;poke: Gentlemen,
&longs;aid he, the men &longs;eem both to have
con&longs;iderable gifts, and I &longs;ee no harm in
letting them both preach. There is work
enough for them in this new country; the
fir&longs;t appears to me, to be more qualified
for the city, as a very methodical preacher;
but the la&longs;t is the mo&longs;t practical; and
each may an&longs;wer a valuable purpo&longs;e in
their proper place.

The deci&longs;ion &longs;eemed judicious, and it
was agreed that they &longs;hould both preach.
The man who had been the yarn merchant,
thanked their reverences, and gave out
that he would preach there that day week,
God willing.

The clergy were &longs;o plea&longs;ed with the Captain,
that they gave him an invitation to
go home with them to an elder's hou&longs;e,
ju&longs;t by; but recollecting the trouble he
had with Teague on another occa&longs;ion, and
the danger of being drawn into a like predicament,
&longs;hould he fall into conver&longs;ation
with the clergymen, and take it into his
head to preach, he declined the invitation,
and ha&longs;tened to get his hor&longs;e, and having
Teague along &longs;ide, proceeded on his journey.

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