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THE Captain had consoled himself with the idea
that Teague was now cured of his folly, and would
no more be disposed to entertain notions of ambition,
and unreasonable projects. He was disappointed in
his hope; for that very evening, the Irishman washing
down the recollection of his woes with some exhilirating
drink, and though not intoxicated, but enlivened
only, he came to the Captain: Said he, Dear
master, what would your anour think, if a poor sharvant
should turn lawyer; and get a half joe when a
customer comes to consult him in the morning?
would it not be better than currying a horse, and
tratting about like a big dog; with no sense to live
like a man of fartune, and have a big house over his
head, and books about him, and take half joes from
paple that come to him about their quarrels and
batings, through de town, and sending dem aff as
wise as if dey had never come to him, and de great
spectacles, to look like a blind man, dat was blind
before he was born, and could see more than two or
three other paple, for all dat; and was a canjurer,
and a wizzard, and could take money for nating....
Would it not be better, master, than tratting like a
fool, and disputing wid paple, and having nating to

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lay up; but be as poor as a church mouse, or a rat,
all the days of our life, and paple laugh after us
when we are gone.

The Captain was thrown into a reverie of thought,
by the speech of the bog-trotter; reflecting, that his
presumption and folly was incurable; for, notwithstanding
all that had been said to him, or suffered
by him, his natural propensity remained the same;
according to the maxim—Naturam expellas bufurea,
usque recurret; you may toss out nature with a pitchfork,
she will still come back upon you. Not so
much from any further view of reclaiming him, as
from indignation, and resentment, against his presumption,
the Captain projected, in his mind, a farther
means of chastising him. He had heard of a
work-house, in this city, into which refractory servants
are committed, and put to hard labour; such
as pounding hemp, grinding plaister of Paris, and
picking old ropes into oakum. He resolved to have
the raggamuffin put into this a while. Counterfeiting,
therefore, an approbation of his project of becoming
lawyer, doubtless, said he, the profession of
the law is a profitable business, where money is very
easily get, by the bare breath of the mouth. Nevertheless,
it requires time and study to qualify for this
profession. Nay, the introduction to the study, by
being put under an eminent lawyer, in full practice,
is itself very expensive. An hundred pistoles is
sometimes the fee. This I could not very well afford;
but I have an acquaintance in this town, who,
I am persuaded, would he willing to oblige me, and
will take less. I will call upon him early to-morrow,
and settle the contract.

Accordingly the next day, calling on the keeper
of the work-house, he gave him an account of his refractory
servant, and with a gratuity of a couple of

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guineas, obtained his consent, to take the bog-trotter
under his direction, and give him a few lessons in
picking oakum, and grinding plaister of Paris, and
pounding hemp, not withholding, in the mean time,
a seasonable application of the cowskin, in the intervals
of study of these several branches of the law.
For the idea was to be imposed upon Teague, that
this was an office, or as it were an inn of court, or
chamber of the Inner Temple; and that the several
flagellations, and grindings, and poundings, were so
many lessons, and lectures, to qualify him for the
practice of the law.

It happened, fortunately, that the keeper of the
work-house was well qualified for the task; for, in
early years, he had been put an apprentice to an attorney,
and had some opportunity of attending courts,
and hearing the names of books to which the advocates
referred in their pleadings; but having a turn
for extravagance, and a dissolute manner life, he had
come to poverty, and, through various scenes, to jail.
There, by address, he had gained the good will of
the jailor's daughter, whom he married: and, by the
interest of his new father-in-law, having obtained his
liberation, he was, from acting as deputy jailor, in a
series of time, at length promoted to be the keeper
of this work-house. Indeed, from his employment,
being acquainted with the prisoners, and finding
himself sometimes interested in their fate, and being
led to attend their trials, he had, even in his last capacity,
been a good deal about courts, and heard law
phrases and books mentioned.

Accordingly, when Teague was introduced, which
was that very afternoon, he had, at his command, the
names of the abridgers, and reporters, and commentators
of the law, and the technical terms in the commencement
and process of a suit; so that, when the

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key was turned, and, after having stript him of the
linen doublet that was upon him, he began to give
him the first application of the cowskin, he told him
this was reading Wood's Institutes; and when, after
this, he was sentenced to an hour or two's hard labour,
at grinding plaister of Paris, this was called
Coke upon Littleton; and when the employment
was varied, pounding hemp, or picking oakum, it
was called Hawkin's Pleas of the crown, or Foster,
or 4th Blackstone, &c. When the poor bog-trotter,
reduced to a skeleton, living on bread and water,
complained of the hard usage, and offered himself a
servant for life, to curry horses and brush boots, to
any Christian creature would take him out of that
place; he was told, that, as he had begun the study
of the law, he must go through with it; that that was
but the commencement of the suit; that in a year's
time he would learn to file a declaration; in another,
to put in a plea; in a third, to join issue; and in a
fourth, to conduct a trial; that unless a bill of exceptions
had been filed, or there was a motion, in
arrest of judgment, or a writ of error brought, he
might be admitted the fifth, and begin to practice
the sixth year: At all events, provided he would
submit himself, with due application, to fasting, and
cowskinning, and grinding plaister of Paris, pounding
hemp, and picking oakum, he might be a lawyer
the seventh year, and wear spectacles, like counsellor
Grab, and take half a joe when he thought proper.

I know not by what simile to represent the howl
of the Irishman, at this prospect of the duration of
his woes. It was like that of a wolf at the bottom of
a well, or a dog that had lost his master, or a cow
her comrade, or some forlorn wanderer that has missed
the way, and given up all hopes of being

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extricated from the wilderness. At the various applications
of the cowskin, he had jumped, and cursed, and
swore, and prayed, and beseeched, and promised a
thousand services, of currying horses, and brushing
boots, and trotting wherever he was ordered, provided
they would set him at liberty. When employed
at the hard labour, before mentioned, he had groaned,
and cursed the law, the counsellor, and the half joe.
Ah, thought he, if my dear master, the Captain,
knew how hard a ting it was to study law, and to
fast widout ating or drinking, and be bate wid a cowskin,
he would not have given the hundred pistoles,
nor the half of it, to have had me kicked and cuffed
in dis manner: I would give body and shoul into
the bargain, if I could see him once more at that iron
gate there, to spake to him, and besache him to take
me out of this purgotary. He was a good master;
and when I was a fool, and wanted to be a member
of Congress, and prache, and be a phalosophar, he
told me, Teague, your are a fool; and what they
would do wid me there; how they would bate me,
and ate me, and take de skin aff my back, and make
a cow or a shape od me; and now I am worse than
a cow or a shape, or a horse in de tame; for I am
cut, and curried black and blue; till my flesh is raw,
and a cholic in my belly, wid fasting; and all to stoody
dis law. The devil take counsellor Grab, and de
half joe.

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