Pedro.

See, see, here comes the man we went to seek.

Claud.

Now, Signior, what news?

Bene.

Good day, my lord.

Pedro.

Welcome, Signior; you are almost come to part almost a fray.

Claud.

We had like to have had our two noses snapt off with two old men without teeth.

Pedro.

Leonato and his brother; what think'st thou? had we fought, I doubt, we should have been too young for them.

Bene.

In a false quarrel there is no true valour: I came to seek you both.

Claud.

We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high-proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away: wilt thou use thy wit?

Bene.

It is in my scabbard; shall I draw it?

Pedro.

Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?

Claud.

Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels; draw, to pleasure us.

Pedro.

As I am an honest man, he looks pale: art thou sick or angry?

Claud.

What! courage, man: what tho' care kill'd a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.

Bene.

Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, if you charge it against me.—I pray you, chuse another subject.

Claud.

^{5 note}Nay, then give him another staff; this last was broke cross.

Pedro.

By this light, he changes more and more: I think, he be angry, indeed.

Claud.

If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.

Bene.

Shall I speak a word in your ear?

Claud.

God bless me from a challenge!

Bene.

You are a villain; I jest not. I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardise. You have kill'd a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me hear from you.

Claud.

Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.

Pedro.

What, a feast?

Claud.

I'faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calves-head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say, my knife's naught. Shall I not find a woodcock too?

Bene.

Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily.

Pedro.

I'll tell thee, how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the other day: I said, thou hadst a fine wit; right, says she, a fine little one; no, said I, a great wit; just, said she, a great gross one; nay, said I, a good wit; just, said she, it hurts no body; nay, said I, the gentleman

is wise; certain, said she, a wise gentleman; nay, said I, he hath the tongues; that I believe, said she, for he swore a thing to me on Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning; there's a double tongue, there's two tongues. Thus did she an hour together trans-shape thy particular virtues; yet, at last, she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the properest man in Italy.

Claud.

For the which she wept heartily, and said, she car'd not.

Pedro.

Yea, that she did; but yet for all that, and if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly; the old man's daughter told us all.

Claud.

All, all; and moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden.

Pedro.

But when shall we set the salvage bull's horns on the sensible Benedick's head?

Claud.

Yea, and text underneath, Here dwells Benedick the married man.

Bene.

Fare you well, boy, you know my mind; I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour; you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which, God be thank'd, hurt not. My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you; I must discontinue your company; your brother, the bastard, is fled from Messina; you have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my lord lack-beard there, he and I shall meet; and 'till then, peace be with him!

Pedro.

He is in earnest.

Claud.

In most profound earnest, and, I'll warrant you, for the love of Beatrice.

Pedro.

And hath challeng'd thee?

Claud.

Most sincerely.

Pedro.

^{6 note}What a pretty thing man is, when he goes in his doublet and hose, and leaves off his wit!

Previous section

Next section