Scene I.
Before Page's house.
Enter Mistress Page, with a letter.
Mrs Page.
What, have I note scaped love-letters in the
holiday-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for
them? Let me see.
[Reads:
‘Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use Reason
for his physician note, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are
not young, no more am I; go to, then, there's sympathy: you are
merry, so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy: you love sack,
and so do I; would you note desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee,
Mistress Page,—at the least note, if the love of soldier note can suffice,—that
I love thee. I will not say, pity me,—'tis not a soldier-like phrase;
but I say, love me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
By day or night,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might
For thee to fight,
John Falstaff.’
What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world!
One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age to show himself
a young gallant! What an note unweighed behaviour hath
this Flemish drunkard picked—with the note devil's name!—out
of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me?
Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What
should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth:
Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament
-- 184 --
for the putting note down of men note. How shall I be revenged
on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts
are made of puddings.
noteEnter Mistress Ford.
Mrs Ford.
Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to
your house.
Mrs Page.
And, trust me, I was coming note to you. You
look very ill.
Mrs Ford.
Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show
to the contrary.
Mrs Page.
Faith, but you do, in my mind.
Mrs Ford.
Well, I do, then; yet, I say, I could show
you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some
counsel!
Mrs Page.
What's the matter, woman?
Mrs Ford.
O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect,
I could come to such honour!
Mrs Page.
Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour.
What is it?—dispense with trifles;—what is it?
Mrs Ford.
If I would but go to hell for an eternal
moment or so, I could be knighted.
Mrs Page.
What? thou liest! note Sir Alice Ford! These
knights will hack note; and so thou shouldst not alter the article
of thy gentry.
Mrs Ford.
We burn daylight:—here, read, read; perceive
how I might be knighted. I shall think the worse of
fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of
men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised note women's
modesty; and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof
to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition
would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no
more adhere and keep place note together than the Hundredth
-- 185 --
Psalm note to the tune of ‘Green Sleeves.’ What tempest, I
trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns note of oil in his
belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on
him? I think the best way were to entertain him with
hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own
grease. Did you ever hear the like?
Mrs Page.
Letter for letter, but that the name of
Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery
of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter:
but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall.
I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with
blank space for different names,—sure note, more,—and these
are of the second edition: he will print them, out of doubt;
for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would
put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under
Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles
ere one chaste man.
Mrs Ford.
Why, this is the very same; the very hand,
the very words. What doth he think of us?
Mrs Page.
Nay, I know not: it makes me almost
ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain
myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure,
unless he know note some strain note in me, that I know not myself,
he would never have boarded me in this fury.
Mrs Ford.
‘Boarding,’ call you it? I'll be sure to keep
him above deck.
Mrs Page.
So will I: if he come under my hatches,
I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's
appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his
suit, and lead him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath
pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter.
Mrs Ford.
Nay, I will consent to act any villany
against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty.
O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give
eternal food to his jealousy.
-- 186 --
Mrs Page.
Why, look where he comes; and my
good man too: he's as far from jealousy as I am from
giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable
distance.
Mrs Ford.
You are the happier woman.
Mrs Page.
Let's consult together against this greasy
knight. Come hither.
[They retire note.
noteEnter Ford, with Pistol, and Page, with Nym.
Ford.
Well, I hope it be not so.
Pist.
Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs:
Sir John affects thy wife.
Ford.
Why, sir, my wife is not young.
Pist.
He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor,
Both young and old, one note with another, Ford;
He loves the note gallimaufry: Ford, perpend. note
Ford.
Love my wife!
Pist.
With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou,
Like Sir Actæon he note, with Ringwood at thy heels:
O, odious is the name!
Ford.
What name, sir?
Pist.
The horn, I say. Farewell.
Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by night:
Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do sing.
Away, Sir Corporal Nym!—
Believe it, Page; he speaks sense note.
[Exit.
Ford. [Aside]
I will be patient; I will find out this.
Nym. [To Page]
And this is true; I like not the humour
of lying. He hath note wronged me in some humours:
I should have borne the humoured letter to her; but I
have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He note
-- 187 --
loves your wife; there's the short and the long. My name
is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch; 'tis note true: my
name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife. Adieu. I
love not the humour of bread and cheese [and there's the
humour of it note]. Adieu.
[Exit.
Page.
‘The humour of it,’ quoth 'a! here's a fellow
frights English note out of his note wits.
Ford.
I will seek out Falstaff.
Page.
I never heard such a drawling, affecting note rogue.
Ford.
If I do find it:—well.
Page.
I will not believe such a Cataian, though the
priest o' the town commended him for a true man.
Ford.
'Twas a good sensible fellow:—well.
note
Page.
How now, Meg!
[Mrs Page and Mrs Ford come forward. note
Mrs Page.
Whither go you, George? Hark you.
Mrs Ford.
How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy?
Ford.
I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you
home, go.
Mrs Ford.
Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy
head. Now, note will you go, Mistress Page?
Mrs Page.
Have with you. You'll come to dinner,
George? [Aside to Mrs Ford] Look who comes yonder:
she shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.
Mrs Ford. [Aside to Mrs Page]
Trust me, I thought on
her: she'll fit it.
Enter Mistress Quickly.
Mrs Page.
You are come to see my daughter Anne?
Quick.
Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress
Anne?
-- 188 --
Mrs Page.
Go in with us and see: we have note an hour's
talk with you.
[Exeunt Mrs Page, Mrs Ford, and Mrs Quickly.
note
Page.
How now, Master Ford!
Ford.
You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
Page.
Yes: and you heard what the other told me?
Ford.
Do you think there is truth in them?
Page.
Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight
would offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded men; very
rogues, now they be out of service.
Ford.
Were they his men?
Page.
Marry, were they.
Ford.
I like it never the better for that. Does he lie
at the Garter?
Page.
Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this note
voyage toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and
what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my
head.
Ford.
I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath
to turn them together. A man may be too confident: I
would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus
satisfied.
Page.
Look where my ranting host of the Garter
comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his
purse, when he looks so merrily.
Enter Host.
How now, mine host!
note
Host.
How now, bully-rook! thou'rt a gentleman.
Cavaleiro note-justice, I say!
Enter Shallow.
Shal.
I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and
twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with
us? we have sport in hand.
-- 189 --
Host.
Tell him, cavaleiro note-justice; tell him, bully-rook.
Shal.
Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir
Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.
Ford.
Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with you.
[Drawing him aside.
Host.
What sayest thou, my note bully-rook?
Shal. [To Page]
Will you go with us to behold it? My
merry host hath note had the measuring of their weapons; and,
I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe
me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you
what our sport shall be.
[They converse apart.
Host.
Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavaleire?
Ford.
None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of
burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my
name is Brook note; only for a jest. note
Host.
My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress;
—said I well?—and thy name shall be Brook note. It is
a merry knight. Will you go, An-heires note?
Shal.
Have with you, mine host.
Page.
I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in
his rapier.
Shal.
Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these
times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and
I know not what: 'tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis here, 'tis
here. I have seen the time, with my long sword I would
have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.
Host.
Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag?
Page.
Have with you. I had rather hear note them scold
than fight.
[Exeunt Host, Shal., and Page.
Ford.
Though Page be a secure fool, and stands note so
firmly on his wife's frailty note, yet I cannot put off my opinion
-- 190 --
so easily: she was in his company at Page's house; and
what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look
further into't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If
I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise,
'tis labour well bestowed.
[Exit.
note
Scene II. [Footnote:
A room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Falstaff and Pistol.
Fal.
I will not lend thee a penny.
Pist.
Why, then the world's mine oyster,
Which I with sword will open note.
Fal.
Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you
should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon
my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow note
Nym; or else you had looked through the grate,
like a geminy of baboons. I am damned in hell for swearing
to gentlemen my friends, you were good soldiers and
tall fellows; and when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of
her fan, I took't upon mine honour thou hadst it not.
Pist.
Didst not thou note share? hadst thou not fifteen
pence?
Fal.
Reason, you rogue, reason: thinkest thou I'll endanger
my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about
me, I am no gibbet for you. Go. A short knife and a
throng note!—To your manor of Pickt-hatch! Go. You'll not
bear a letter for me, you rogue! you stand upon your
honour! Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as
I can do to keep the terms note of my honour note precise: I, I, I note
myself sometimes, leaving the fear of God note on the left hand,
and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle,
to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, note will ensconce
-- 191 --
your rags note, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice
phrases, and your bold-beating note oaths, under the shelter of
your honour! You will not do it, you!
Pist.
I do relent note: what would thou note more of man?
Enter Robin.
Rob.
Sir, here's a woman would speak with you.
Fal.
Let her approach.
noteEnter Mistress Quickly.
Quick.
Give your worship good morrow.
Fal.
Good morrow, good wife.
Quick.
Not so, an't please your worship.
Fal.
Good maid, then.
Quick.
I'll be sworn;
As my mother was, the first hour I was born.
Fal.
I do believe the swearer. What with me?
Quick.
Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?
Fal.
Two thousand, fair woman: and I'll vouchsafe
thee the hearing.
Quick.
There is one Mistress Ford, sir:—I pray, come
a little nearer this ways:—I myself dwell with Master
Doctor Caius,—
Fal.
Well, on: Mistress note Ford, you say,—
Quick.
Your worship says very true:—I pray your
worship, come a little nearer this ways.
Fal.
I warrant thee, nobody hears;—mine own people,
mine own people.
Quick.
Are they so? God note bless them, and make them
his servants!
Fal.
Well, Mistress Ford;—what of her?
Quick.
Why, sir, she's a good creature.—Lord, Lord!
-- 192 --
your worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you and
all of us, I pray!
Fal.
Mistress Ford;—come, Mistress Ford,—
Quick.
Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you
have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis wonderful.
The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor,
could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet
there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their
coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter,
gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so
rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant
terms; and in note such wine and sugar of the best and the
fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I
warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her: I
had myself twenty angels given me this note morning; but
I defy all angels—in any such sort, as they say—but in the
way of honesty: and, I warrant you, they could never get
her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all:
and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners;
but, I warrant you, all is one with her.
Fal.
But what says she to me? be brief, my good she-Mercury.
Quick.
Marry, she hath received your letter; for the
which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you
to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house
between ten and eleven.
Fal.
Ten and eleven.
Quick.
Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see
the picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford, her
husband, will be from home. Alas, the sweet woman leads
an ill life with him! he's a very jealousy man: she leads a
very frampold life with him, good heart.
Fal.
Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her;
I will not fail her.
Quick.
Why, you say well. But I have another messenger
to your worship. Mistress Page hath her hearty
commendations to you, too: and let me tell you in your
-- 193 --
ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell
you, that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as
any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other: and she bade me
tell your worship that her husband is seldom from home;
but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a
woman so dote upon a man: surely, I think you have
charms, la; yes, in truth.
Fal.
Not I, I assure thee: setting the attraction of my
good parts aside, I have no other charms.
Quick.
Blessing on your heart for't!
Fal.
But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife
and Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me?
Quick.
That were a jest indeed! they have not so
little grace, I hope: that were a trick indeed! But Mistress
Page would desire you to send her your little page,
of all loves note: her husband has a marvellous infection to the
little page; and, truly, Master Page is an honest man.
Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does:
do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to
bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and,
truly, she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in
Windsor, she is one note. You must send her your page; no
remedy.
Fal.
Why, I will.
Quick.
Nay, but do so, then: and, look you, he may
come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a
nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and
the boy never need note to understand any thing; for 'tis not
good that children should know any wickedness: old folks,
you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.
Fal.
Fare thee well: commend me to them both:
there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along
with this woman. [Exeunt Mistress Quickly and Robin.]
This news distracts me!
Pist.
This punk note is one of Cupid's carriers:
-- 194 --
Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights note:
Give fire: she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all note!
[Exit note.
Fal.
Sayest thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make
more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet
look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much
money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let
them say 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.
noteEnter Bardolph.
Bard.
Sir John, there's one Master Brook note below would
fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath
sent your worship a morning's draught of sack.
Fal.
Brook is his name?
Bard.
Ay, sir.
Fal.
Call him in. [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks note are
welcome to me, that o'erflow note such liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress
Ford and Mistress Page have I encompassed you? go to; via!
Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford disguised.
Ford.
Bless note you, sir!
Fal.
And you, sir! Would you speak with me?
Ford.
I make bold to press with so little preparation
upon you.
Fal.
You're welcome. What's your will?—Give us
leave, drawer.
[Exit Bardolph.
Ford.
Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much;
my name is Brook.
Fal.
Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance
of you.
Ford.
Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge
you; for I must let you understand I think myself in better
plight for a lender than you are: the which hath something
emboldened me to this unseasoned intrusion; for they say,
if money go before, all ways do lie open.
-- 195 --
Fal.
Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.
Ford.
Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles
me: if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half note, for
easing me of the carriage.
Fal.
Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your
porter.
Ford.
I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing.
Fal.
Speak, good Master Brook: I shall be glad to be
your servant.
Ford.
Sir, I hear you are a scholar,—I will be brief with
you,—and you have been a man long known to me, though
I had never so good means, as desire, to make myself acquainted
with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein
I must very much lay open mine own imperfection note: but,
good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you
hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your
own; that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you
yourself know how easy it is to be such an offender.
Fal.
Very well, sir; proceed.
Ford.
There is a gentlewoman in this town; her husband's
name is Ford.
Fal.
Well, sir.
Ford.
I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, bestowed
much on her; followed her with a doting observance;
engrossed opportunities to meet her; fee'd note every slight occasion
that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only
bought note many presents to give her, but have given largely to
many to know what she would have given; briefly, I have
pursued her as love hath pursued me; which hath been on
the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited,
either in my mind or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have
received none; unless experience be a jewel that note note I have
purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to
say this:
-- 196 --
‘Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;
Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.’
Fal.
Have you received no promise of satisfaction at
her hands?
Ford.
Never.
Fal.
Have you importuned her to such a purpose?
Ford.
Never.
Fal.
Of what quality was your love, then?
Ford.
Like a fair house built on another man's ground;
so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where
I erected it.
Fal.
To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?
Ford.
When I have told you that, I have told you all.
Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in
other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is
shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is
the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent
breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic
in your place and person, generally allowed for your
many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations.
Fal.
O, sir!
Ford.
Believe it, for you know it. There is money;
spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only
give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay
an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: use
your art of wooing; win her to consent to you: if any man
may, you may as soon as any.
Fal.
Would it apply well to the vehemency note of your
affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks
you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.
Ford.
O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely
on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul note
dares not present itself: she is too bright to be looked
against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in
my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend
themselves: I could drive her then from the ward of
her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand
-- 197 --
other her note defences, which now are too, too note strongly
embattled against me. What say you to't, Sir John?
Fal.
Master Brook, I will first make bold with your
money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman,
you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.
Ford.
O good sir!
Fal.
I say you shall note.
Ford.
Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.
Fal.
Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall
want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her
own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant,
or go-between, parted from me: I say I shall be with
her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous
rascally knave her husband will be forth. Come you to me
at night; you shall know how I speed.
Ford.
I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know
Ford, sir?
Fal.
Hang him, poor cuckoldly note knave! I know him not:
—yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the jealous
wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife
seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the key of the
cuckoldly rogue's note coffer; and there's my harvest-home.
Ford.
I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might
avoid him, if you saw him.
Fal.
Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will
stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel:
it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master
Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the
peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife.—Come to me
soon at night. Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his
style; thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and
cuckold. Come to me soon at night.
[Exit.
note
Ford.
What a damned Epicurean rascal is this! My
heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is
improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him; the hour
-- 198 --
is fixed; the match is made. Would any man have thought
this? See the hell of having a false note woman! My bed
shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn
at; and I shall not only receive this villanous wrong, but
stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him
that does me this wrong note. Terms! names!—Amaimon
sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are
devils' additions, the names of fiends: but Cuckold! Wittol!
—Cuckold note! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page
is an ass, a secure ass: he will trust his wife; he will not
be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter,
Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman
with my aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling
gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then
she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in
their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts
but they will effect. God note be praised for my jealousy!—
Eleven o'clock the hour. I will prevent this, detect my
wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will
about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too
late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold!
[Exit.
note
Scene III. [Footnote:
A field near Windsor.
Enter Caius and Rugby.
Caius.
Jack Rugby!
Rug.
Sir?
Caius.
Vat is de note clock, Jack?
Rug.
'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
to meet.
Caius.
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come;
he has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar,
Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
-- 199 --
Rug.
He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would
kill him, if he came.
Caius.
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill
him note. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill
kill him.
Rug.
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
Caius.
Villainy, take your rapier.
Rug.
Forbear; here's company.
Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page.
Host.
Bless thee, bully doctor!
Shal.
Save you, Master Doctor Caius!
Page.
Now, good master doctor!
Slen.
Give you good morrow, sir.
Caius.
Vat be all you, one, two, tree note, four, come for?
Host.
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee
traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee
pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy
montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco note?
ha, bully! What says my Æsculapius? my Galen note?
my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully-stale? is he dead?
Caius.
By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de
vorld note; he is not show his face.
Host.
Thou art a Castalion note-King-Urinal. Hector of
Greece, my boy!
Caius.
I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six
or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
Shal.
He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a
curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should
fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it
not true, Master Page?
Page.
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
fighter, though now a man of peace.
-- 200 --
Shal.
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old,
and of the note peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches
to make one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and
churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth
in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.
Page.
'Tis true, Master Shallow.
Shal.
It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor
Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of
the peace: you have shewed yourself a wise physician,
and Sir Hugh hath shewn himself a wise and patient
churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.
Host.
Pardon, guest-justice.—A word note, Mounseur Mock-water note.
Caius.
Mock-vater! vat is dat?
Host.
Mock-water note, in our English tongue, is valour,
bully.
Caius.
By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de
Englishman.—Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut
his ears.
Host.
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
Caius.
Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
Host.
That is, he will make thee amends.
Caius.
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
me; for, by gar, me vill have it.
Host.
And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
Caius.
Me tank you for dat.
Host.
And, moreover, bully,—But first, master guest,
and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you through
the town to Frogmore.
[Aside to them.
Page.
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host.
He is there: see what humour he is in; and
I will bring the doctor about by note the fields. Will it do
well?
Shal.
We will do it.
Page, Shal., and Slen.
Adieu, good master doctor.
[Exeunt Page, Shal., and Slen.
-- 201 --
Caius.
By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a
jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Host.
Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold
water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through
Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is,
at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried
I aim? note said I well?
Caius.
By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love
you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de
knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
Host.
For the which I will be thy adversary toward
Anne Page. Said I well?
Caius.
By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host.
Let us wag, then.
note
Caius.
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
[Exeunt.
William Aldis Wright [1863–1866], The works of William Shakespeare edited by William George Clark... and John Glover [and William Aldis Wright] (Macmillan and Co., London) [word count] [S10701].
