Fal.

Mine host of the Garter!

Host.

What says my bully-rook ^note? speak scholarly and wisely.

Fal.

Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.

Host.

Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.

Fal.

I sit at ten pounds a week.

Host.

Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall ^note tap: said I well, bully Hector?

Fal.

Do so, good mine host.

Host.

I have spoke; let him follow. [To Bard.] Let me see thee froth ^note and lime ^note: I am at a word; follow.

Fal.

Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.

Bard.

It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive.

Pist.

O base Hungarian ^note wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?

Nym.

He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? ^note

Fal.

I am glad I am so acquit ^note of this tinder-box: his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer; he kept not time.

Nym.

The good humour is to steal at a minute's ^note rest.

Pist.

‘Convey,’ the wise it call. ‘Steal!’ foh! a fico for the phrase!

Fal.

Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

Pist.

Why, then, let kibes ensue.

Fal.

There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.

Pist.

Young ravens must have food.

Fal.

Which of you know Ford of this town?

Pist.

I ken the wight: he is of substance good.

Fal.

My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

Pist.

Two yards, and more.

Fal.

No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves ^note, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, ‘I am Sir John Falstaff's.’

Pist.

He hath studied her will ^note, and translated her will ^note, out of honesty into English.

Nym.

The anchor ^note is deep: will that humour pass?

Fal.

Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband's purse: he ^note hath a legion ^note of angels.

Pist.

As many devils entertain ^note; and ‘To her, boy,’ say I.

Nym.

The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.

Fal.

I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious œillades ^note; sometimes the beam of her view gilded ^note my foot, sometimes my portly belly.

Pist.

Then did the sun on dunghill shine.

Nym.

I thank thee for that humour.

Fal.

O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheaters ^note to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

Pist.
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!

Nym.

I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter: I will keep the haviour of reputation.

Fal. [To Robin]
Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly ^note; ^note
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;
Trudge, plod away o' the ^note hoof; seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn ^note the humour ^note of the ^note age,
French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page. [Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. ^{note note}

Pist.
Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds ^note,
And high and low beguiles ^note the rich and poor:
Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!

Nym.
I have operations ^note which be humours of revenge.

Pist.
Wilt thou revenge?

Nym.
By welkin and her star ^note!

Pist.
With wit or steel?

Nym.
With both the humours, I:
I will discuss ^note the humour of this love to Page.

Pist.
And I to Ford ^note shall eke unfold
  How Falstaff, varlet vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
  And his soft couch defile.

Nym.

My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page ^note to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness ^note, for the ^note revolt of mine ^note is dangerous: that is my true humour.

Pist.

Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on.