SCENE III.
The Garter inn.
Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin.
Fal.
Mine host of the Garter,—
Host.
What says my bully-rook8 note? speak schollarly,
and wisely.
Fal.
Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of
my followers.
Host.
Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them
wag; trot, trot.
Fal.
I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host.
Thou 'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar9 note, and
Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw,
he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector?
Fal.
Do so, good mine host.
Host.
I have spoke; let him follow: 1 note note and lime, I take to be the true one. The Host
calls for an immediate specimen of Bardolph's abilities as a tapster;
and frothing beer and liming sack were tricks practised in the time
of Shakespeare. The first was done by putting soap into the bottom
of the tankard when they drew the beer; the other, by mixing
lime with the sack (i. e. sherry) to make it sparkle in the glass.
Froth and live is sense, but a little forced; and to make it so we
must suppose the Host could guess by his dexterity in frothing a
pot to make it appear fuller than it was, how he would afterwards
succeed in the world. Falstaff himself complains of limed sack.
Steevens.Let me see
thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
[Exit Host.
-- 240 --
Fal.
Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good
trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd
servingman, a fresh tapster2 note: Go; adieu.
Bard.
It is a life that I have desir'd: I will thrive.
[Exit Bard.
Pist.
3 note
O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the
spigot wield?
Nym.
He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour
conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the
4 notehumour of it.
-- 241 --
Fal.
I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox;
his thefts were too open: his filching was like an
unskilful finger, he kept not time.
Nym.
The good humour is, to steal 5 note
at a minute's
rest.
Pist.
Convey, the wise it call6 note
: Steal! foh; a
fico for the phrase!
Fal.
Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Pist.
Why then, let kibes ensue.
Fal.
There is no remedy; I must cony-catch, I
must shift.
Pist.
7 noteYoung ravens must have food.
Fal.
Which of you know Ford of this town?
Pist.
I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
Fal.
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am
about.
Pist.
Two yards, and more.
-- 242 --
Fal.
No quips now, Pistol: Indeed, I am in the
waist two yards about: but I am now 8 note
about no
waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to
make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in
her; she discourses, she carves9 note, she gives the leer
of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar
stile; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to
be English'd rightly, is, I am sir John Falstaff's.
Pist.
He hath study'd her will,9Q0117 and translated her
will; out of honesty into English.
Nym.
1 note
The anchor is deep: Will that humour
pass?
-- 243 --
Fal.
Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of
her husband's purse; she hath a legion of angels.
Pist.
2 note
As many devils entertain; and, To her, boy,
say I.
Nym.
The humour rises; it is good: humour me
the angels.
Fal.
I have writ me here a letter to her: and here
another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good
eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious
3 noteeyliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded
my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Pist.
Then did the sun on dung-hill shine.
Nym.
I thank thee for 4 note
that humour.
-- 244 --
Fal.
O, she did so course-o'er my exteriors with
such a greedy intention5 note, that the appetite of her
eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass!
Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse
too; 6 noteshe is a region in Guiana, all gold and
bounty. 7 note
I will be cheater to them both, and they
shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East
and West Indies, and I will trade to them both.
Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou
this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads; we will
thrive.
Pist.
Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!
Nym.
I will run no base humour: here, take the
humour letter; I will keep the haviour of reputation.
Fal.
Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly8 note;9Q01189Q0119
-- 245 --
Sail like my pinnace9 note
to these golden shores.
[To Robin.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go;
Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of this age1 note,
French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
[Exit Falstaff and Boy.
Pist.
2 noteLet vultures gripe thy guts! 3 note
for gourd, and fullam holds;
And high and low beguiles the rich and poor:
-- 246 --
Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!
Nym.
I have operations in my head, which be humours
of revenge.
Pist.
Wilt thou revenge?
Nym.
By welkin, and her star!
Pist.
With wit, or steel?
Nym.
With both the humours, I:
I will discuss the humour of this love to Ford4 note,
Pist.
And I to Page shall eke unfold,
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.
Nym.
My humour shall not cool: I will incense
Ford to deal with poison; I will possess him with
5 note
yellowness, for6 note
the revolt of mien is dangerous:
that is my true humour.
-- 247 --
Pist.
Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second
thee; troop on.
[Exeunt.
Samuel Johnson [1778], The plays of William Shakspeare. In ten volumes. With the corrections and illustrations of various commentators; to which are added notes by Samuel Johnson and George Steevens. The second edition, Revised and Augmented (Printed for C. Bathurst [and] W. Strahan [etc.], London) [word count] [S10901].
