John.
Pedro.
What secret hath held you here, that you
follow'd not to Leonato's house?
Bene.
I would, your Grace would constrain me to tell.
Pedro.
I charge thee on thy allegiance.
Bene.
You hear, Count Claudio, I can be secret as
a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my
allegiance,—mark you this,—on my allegiance.—He
is in love. With whom?—now that is your Grace's
part.—Mark, how short his answer is—with Hero,
Leonato's short daughter.
Claud.
If this were so, so were it uttered.7 note
Bene.
Like the old tale, my lord, it is not so, nor
'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.
Claud.
If my passion change not shortly, God forbid
it should be otherwise.
Pedro.
Amen, if you love her, for the Lady is very
well worthy.
Claud.
You speak this to fetch me in, my Lord.
Pedro.
By my troth, I speak my thought.
Claud.
And, in faith, my Lord, I spoke mine.
Bene.
And by my two faiths and troths, my Lord,
I speak mine.
Claud.
That I love her, I feel.
Pedro.
That she is worthy, I know.
Bene.
That I neither feel how she should be loved,
nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion
that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the
stake.
-- 182 --
Pedro.
Thou wast ever an obstinate heretick in the
despight of beauty.
Claud.
And never could maintain his part, 8 notebut in
the force of his will.
Bene.
That a woman conceived me, I thank her;
that she brought me up, I likewise give her most
humble thanks: but that I will have a recheate winded
in my forehead,9 note or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick,
all women shall pardon me; because I will not
do them the Wrong to mistrust any, I will do my self
the Right to trust none; and the fine is, (for the which
I may go the finer,) I will live a batchelor.
Pedro.
I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with
love.
Bene.
With anger, with sickness, or with hunger,
my lord, not with love: prove, that ever I lose more
blood with love, than I will get again with drinking,
pick out mine eyes with a balladmaker's pen, and hang
me up at the door of a brothel-house for the Sign of
blind Cupid.
Pedro.
Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith,
thou wilt prove a notable argument.1 note
Bene.
If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and
shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapt on
the shoulder, and call'd2 note
Adam.
-- 183 --
Pedro.
Well, as time shall try; in time the savage
bull doth bear the yoke.
Bene.
The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible
Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's-horns, and set
them in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted;
and in such great letters as they write, Here is good
Horse to hire, let them signifie under my Sign, Here
you may see Benedick the marry'd man.
Claud.
If this should ever happen, thou would'st
be horn-mad.
Pedro.
Nay, 3 noteif Cupid hath not spent all his quiver
in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.
Bene.
I look for an earthquake too then.
Pedro.
Well, you will temporize with the hours;
in the mean time, good Signior Benedick, repair to
Leonato's, commend me to him, and tell him I will
not fail him at supper; for, indeed, he hath made
great preparation.
Bene.
I have almost matter enough in me for such
an embassage, and so I commit you—
Claud.
To the tuition of God; From my house, if
I had it,—
Pedro.
The sixth of July, your loving friend, Benedick.
Bene.
Nay, mock not, mock not; the body of your
-- 184 --
discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the
guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere4 note you
flout old ends any further, examine your conscience,
and so I leave you.
[Exit.
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].