King R.
Keep all your distance— [Exeunt all the Court, but Buck. Rat. and Cat. R. H.
Cousin, a pig's whisper with you,—

Buc.
My king!—

King R.
At length by thy advice, my cousin,
And gammon, pitch'd to many a dozen,
Is Glo'ster bang up on the English Throne;
But say, my coz, is this all our own?
Young Neddy lives—so does his brother York!
Now think what I would say—and take a chalk.

Buc.
Out with it!

King R.
I tell thee, coz, I've lately had two moneys
Get in my way—and Glo'ster in a funk is.
Now though thy foot has kick'd 'em from my sight,
Yet do I fear that all will not go right!
I tell thee, cousin, that I would be king.

Buc.
And so you are.

King R.
Am I? no such thing.
Edward still lives—

Buc.
My lord, I know it.

King R.
What, a'nt you down to me, then?

Buc.
Yes, go it.

King R.
Shall I be plain? I wish the monkeys dead
And I would have thee smother them in bed.

Buc.
Since it is deed that cannot be recall'd,
And when performed—cannot be forestall'd;
Allow me some short time for thinking,
I'll go and resolve it in a twinkling. [Exit, L. H.

King R.
I'll henceforth deal with shorter sighted asses,

Those who on their noses carry glasses;
The best on't is—I may not want his aid.
Come hither, Cat—where is that same blade,
That Tirrel, whom you spoke to me about?

Cat.
At Mrs. Levy's in Rag Fair.

King R.
No doubt.
Methought you said she kept a fencing ken.

Cat.
I did—and let's out rooms to smashing men.

King R.
He is the very man—give him this ring,
And further orders to him I will bring. [Exit Catesby, R. H. D.
Hark thee, Rat, when saw you Anne my wife?
What says the doctor—is she long for life?

Rat.
He fears her much.

King R.
But he's a good physician!

Rat.
I hope she'll mend—she's in a bad condition. [Exit, L. H. D.

King R.
And if she does, then blow me tight,
I'll make him send her home to night. [Exit, R. H. D.

Enter Buckingham, L. H.

Buc.
What gone! then I am left mum-chance,
Was ever fellow yet led such dance?
I'll turn my coat, and scud to Richmond;
I will, by jingo!

Air, “The young May Moon.” Buc.
Now half the world is fast asleep,
I to Richmond safe may creep;
I'll set off by flight, in the dead of the night,
And I'll reach Windmill Street, before daylight peep.
I'll floor all Charlies in my way,
Should they attempt ought to say,
Their lanthorns I'll grab, and their rattles I'll nab,
And I'll push on keep moving to Windmill Street. [Exit, L. H. SCENE II. —A Chamber in the Tower. Enter Tirrel, Dighton, and Forrest, L. H.

Digh.
Come, gents, have you concluded on the manner.

For.
Yes, Tirrel for a bob and a tanner,

Will do the job.

Tir.
Quick, and stow the darkey,
The screw's man's coming up the stairs—hark, he
Comes this way. Enter Lieutenant, R. H.
Now sir, have you got the keys?

Lieu.
I have.

Tir.
Then hand 'em this way, if you please. [Giving a Ring.

Lieu. (giving the Keys.)
That way, gents, you have no need of me,
Good night—what a smashing looking three. [Exeunt Lieutenant, L. H. the others, R. H. Enter King Richard through M. D.

King R.
Would this wicked deed were o'e
Of tanners I'd give twenty score;
T'would cure me of the devils blue,
The mulligrubs, and head-ache to;

Hark! they're at the job—I hear a scuffle,
I'd better cut my sticks, and shuffle. [Going. Enter Tirrel, L. H.
Oh, its Tirrel—say, have you done the deed?
Is it finished?

Tir.
It is, my lord, indeed.

King R.
Say, hast thou stop'd their wizzens,
Or in their throats made large incisions?

Tir.
We scragg'd 'em with the darbies.

King R.
Say you so!
But are they dead?

Tir.
Dead as Abraham Blow,
The Whitechapel knackerman, who fell
Into his boiler, hotter far than hell.

King R.
Go, get a sack half full of stones,
And ram them in;—to Davy Jones
Then send 'em. Come, brush, begone,

Tir.
It shall be done before the morn. [Exit, R. H.

Enter Catesby, L. H.

Cat.
My lord.

King R.
How now, what's the row?

Cat.
Morton has fled to Richmond; Buckingham
Has joined the party of the bold Dutch Sam.
At Moulsey Hurst they all intend to meet,
And give us amateurs a precious treat.

King R.
They do! then d&wblank;n me if I will retreat!
Let's muster boys; Richard's Richard still,
We'll have a regular set-to or mill! [Exeunt, L. H. SCENE III. —The neighbourhood of St. Paul's. Enter Queen and Duchess of York, R. H.

Air, “Oh, rest thee, babe.” Queen.

Oh snooze on, my kinchins,* ^note
  Thy dad's dead—good lack!
Thy mother's a widow,
  All clothed in black!

Those rooms and those halls,
  In the Tower where you be,
They all should belong,
  My dear kiddeys to thee.
Oh! rest thee, brats; rest thee, brats;
  Snooze on 'till day;
Oh! rest thee, brats; rest thee, brats;
  And snooze away!

Oh! rest thee, my kinchins,
  Thy doom it is cast;
When Glo'ster, that rascal,
  Will make you sleep fast.
Then rest thee, my kinchins,
  Oh! snooze while you may;
Perhaps you'll no more twig,
  The light of the day. [Trumpets, R. H.

Duc. Y.
Hark! he comes this way, the trumpet blows;
Come, wipe away your tears, and blow your nose!
Look fresh, and blow him up!

Enter King Richard and Catesby, with Forces, through the Gates. Trumpets sound a March.

King R.
Who stops the gangway, there?

Queen.
One who will make every hair of thine,
Stiffer than the bristles of the swine!
Where are my children, hedge-hog? quickly say,

Duc. Y.
Clarence?

Queen.
Hastings?

Duc. Y.
Rivers?

Queen.
Vaughan?

Duc. Y.
Or Grey?

King R.
Strike up the drum; play Paddy Carey,
Or any thing that's brisk and airy;
Scare these wild swine hence! beat, beat, I say. [Drums and Fifes play Paddy Carey.
You'd best be quiet, hold yonr cursed jaw,
Or they shall play “The honors of war.”

Duc. Y.
Bad luck attend you to the battle,
Rough music in your ears for ever rattle. [Exit, R. H.

Queen.
Though I have cause to say much more,
I've only power to say, encore. [Going.

King R.
Stop—you have a daughter, called Bet.

Queen.
Must she die too?

King R.
Die! oh, no! here, take a drop of wet. [Hands a Bottle which he takes from his Pocket.

Air, “Cease your funning.” Queen.
Cease your blarney, and your carney,
  To seduce my daughter Bet,
All the Gin, Sir, that's within, Sir,
  I've a mind for to upset,
T'is most certain, the bed curtain,
  Never shall enclose you both;
You would woo her, and undo her,
  But you'll find her very loath.

Air, “Bob and Joan.” King R.
For all the spite you've shown,
  I care not for your clatter;
Keep your Girl at home,
  Or else I will be at her.

I swear that she and I,
  Must shortly come together;
For d&wblank;n me, I would die,
  E'er she should have another. [Goes up the Stage and sends Ratcliff off, L. H.

Queen.
What shall I say? I'll seemingly comply,
And say to him what now is all my eye.
Glo'ster, I'll do all I can,
And more, if possible, you wicked man,
I will forget the murder'd Anne.

King R.
My heart goes with you—tis sold—tis bought! [Exit Queen, R. H.
Relenting, crabbed, carbuncled, mott! Enter Ratcliff, L. H.

Rat.
Most gracious Sovereign, on the Western coast,
In four oar'd cutter, rides a host—

King R.
Of what?

Rat.
Swoddies, my lord! [Exit, L. H.

King R.
Come here, Cat. post to the duke of Norfolk,
Bid him muster all his war folk.
Quick! mizzle! scud!
Hold! commend me to the blood. [Exit Catesby, R H. Enter Lord Stanley, L. H.
Now then, Stanley, let us have no humming!

Stan.
Richmond's on the Thames, and coming.

King R.
'Tis like he means to set the Thames afire.

Stan.
I know not; if you please, I will enquire.

King R.
What! you would his bottle holder be?

Stan.
You have no cause to doubt my loyalty.

King R.
Away then—hold! come back!
And let me have none of your clack.
I've thought a way to make you faster,
'Twill fix you firm as Paris plaster,
Your son, George, I'll have him left behind;
And if you brush, he dies!—now mind. [Exit Stanley, R. H.

Enter Catesby, R. H.

Cat.
My liege, bold Richmond, with Dutch Sam and others,
At Moulsey Hurst are landed;
But Richmond says he wants no brothers,
He'll bang you well left handed!

King R.
Why here's a precious row: Ho! my ass!
Go, Catesby, fetch bim in from grass.
On ass back I resolve to attack,
In single combat, this aspiring black;
And if I can, his jemmy I will crack! [Exeunt R. H. SCENE IV. —The Country near Moulsey Hurst. Enter Richmond, Oxford, Blunt, and others, L. H. U. E.

Rich.
Thus far we've march'd into the land,
And now I think we'll make a stand.
Glos'ter, that great angry boar and glutton,
Whose appetite has stripp'd your fields of mutton,

Is now, as I've been told, within a mile.
So have I observed a watery bile,
Rise on my hand, and swell till it did burst,
As he perhaps may cut a swell at first.

Ox.
Your words are hot, my lord, and warm our men.

Rich.
Come, let us go into a boozing ken.
Let every man call for what he likes to day,
And chalk it up to Richmond; he will pay,
'Tis more than Glo'ster to his friends will say.

Ox.
He has no friends, but cowards who do stay,
With him, because they fear to run away.

Rich.
And, we I trust, have got no foes,
But we can mill, or split their nose;
So let us go, and wet our clay,
Before we do begin the fray. [Exeunt, R. H.

SCENE V. —A Wood. Enter King Richard, Ratcliff, Norfolk, and Catesby, L. H.

King R.
Cat.

Cat.
What would your majesty?

King R.
Send out
Some one after Stanley, he's a scout;
Bid him meet me at the George 'fore morn,
For I have gotten his son's head in pawn;
And if he don't redeem it as I say,
Or the full interest now come and pay,
I'll put it up for sale, without delay. [Catesby goes out and returns, L. H.
Good Norfolk, get you to your post,
And of your pluck be sure you make the most.

Nor.
I shall, my lord.

King R.
Saddle grey Neddy
For the field—is ink and paper ready?

Cat.
It is, my lord.

Air, “Giles Scroggins.”
By goles, I think I've got the vapours,
Ri, tol, &c.
Play up louder, cat-gut scrapers,
Ri, tol, &c.
Come forth, my sword, thy hilt is dusty,
Thy sheath doth now look old and musty,
And thy blade has grown quite rusty,
Ri, tol, &c.
Here, take it, Catesby, to be ground,
Ri, tol, &c.
For the edge is now quite round,
Ri, tol, &c.
Then haste, my Catesby, haste away,
It must be done without delay,
Hold! here's the blunt which you must pay,
Ri, tol, &c. [Giving him money. [Exeunt King Richard, R. H. Catesby and Ratcliff, L. H.

SCENE VI. —Richard's Tent. Enter Richard, from the Tent.

Air, “Hey, randy dandy, O.” King R.
'Tis now the very dead of night,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
Tomorrow we must up and fight,
A dev'lish black-looking dandy, O!
Some how or other I can't snooze,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
So I myself will now amuse,
By laying all things handy, O!
I'll fetch a walk a little way,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
Lord! what a smell of new mown hay,
Where maidens roll so randy, O!
This night, it is so precious dark,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
I cannot see them toy and lark,
Tho' they're to me quite handy, O!
Steed threatens steed, so loud they neigh,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
And hark! I hear a jackass bray,
From a cart all sandy, O!

Hear from booth to booth loud laughter burst,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
Sure half the world's at Moulsey Hurst,
To see me fight the dandy, O!
By the clink of knives and forks, I'm up,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
Some parties in the booths do sup,
Where ham and beef is handy O!
I'll to my couch and lay me down,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
But first I'll look for my night gown,
To hide my pins so bandy, O! [Puts on a Night Gown and Cap.
But hold! there's something else surely,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
I had forgot to wet my eye,
With a drop of brandy, O! [Drinks. A Groan is heard.
Hark! what means that dismal noise,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
I suppose it was the flash sand boys,
With the cart so sandy, O!
No matter now, for sleep I will,
Hey randy, dandy, O!
And blow me, if they don't keep still,
I'll upset all their sandy, O! [Lies down and sleeps.

King Henry's Ghost rises.

Air, “Happy Tawny Moor.” King H.
Sleep! cruel Dickey, sleep! and snore, O!
While with dreams your sconce I bore, O!
  Snooze, snooze and snore away!
  Till it is break of day.
Dream, dream about the time you run me
Right through the guts and undone me,
  Oh! Oh! story of woe,
  I soon must go below! Lady Anne's Ghost rises.

Air, “Madam Sneak.”
Oh, you cruel dog, think on Anne your wife,
I've sent thy grinder word to notch thy rusty knife.
So do not think your deeds will any longer pass,
For Richmond means to floor you slap upon the grass.
Rum ti, &c. The Ghosts of Prince Edward and the Duke of York appear, the Prince with a Bladder tied to a Stick.

Prince E.
Crow, brother, crow! crow like the morning cock!

While I with this good bladder punch his block. [Duke of York crows like a Cock, the Prince beats King Richard about the Head with the Bladder, and they all disappear.

King R. (starting up)
Give me another ass—bind up my wounds!
Have mercy, there I say, you'll break my bones.
Why, how is this? I'm surely dreaming,
And yet I feel it's more than seeming;
Why I could swear I felt his mauley,
And somehow I am very poorly. Enter Catesby.
Who's there?

Cat.
'Tis I; thrice the village cock hath crow'd.

King R.
If he crow'd more than once, why I'll be blow'd.
Oh, Cat, I've had such horrid dreams!

Cat.
Why,
Dreams, my lord, you know are all my eye.

Did Richmond know that a mere dream could fright,
He'd scorn to dare you unto this day's fight.

King R.
Why Catesby, I believe you'r in the right.
Hence, bladders, hence, you threaten here in vain,
I'll make ye burst—and blow ye up again. [Trumpets sound a call.
Hark! the shrill trumpet sounds to ass; away!
For I'll set Richmond on his a&wblank;e to day. [Flourish of Drums and Trumpets, Exeunt, R. H. SCENE VII. —Moulsey Hurst. Enter Richmond, Oxford, and Soldiers, &c. L. H.

Air, “Tyrolese Waltz.” Richm.
  Merrily to the ring, boys,
    Merrily, O, merrily, O.
  Merrily round it sing, boys,
    Merrily, O, merrily, O.
For who's afraid of this crooked blade,
Though he floors all he fights, 'tis said,
  I think that I can mill him,
    Merrily, O, merrily, O.

  Merrily I can box, O.
    Merrily, O, merrily, O.
  And take some tidy knocks, O.
    Merrily, O, merrily, O.
I've learn'd to fib, about the gib,
And I can likewise break a rib,
  So nicely I will drill him,
    Merrily, O, merrily, O. [Drums and Trumpets sound.
  Hark! I hear his drums, O.
    Merrily, O, merrily, O.
  This way now he comes, O.
    Merrily, O, merrily, O.
Let's haste away, without delay,
We'll to the ring, the nearest way,
  And merrily round it sing, boys.
    Merrily, O, merrily, O. [Exeunt, R. H. SCENE VIII. —Another part of the Fields. Enter King Richard on Ass-back, R. H.

King R.
What ho! 'tis Richard calls,
Richard foams, Richard bawls,

Till he is hoarse with bawling,
Still ranting, still calling;
Richmond, I say!—come up Neddy! [Exit, L. H. striking his Spurs into the flank. SCENE IX. —A Wood. Enter Catesby, L. H. with Norfolk, who has got one of his Legs bound up.

Cat.
Come, d&wblank;n the gout, and stir your stumps,
Though fortune's given you many bumps
  Yet never mind her,
For if for her, you care two dumps,
  You'll be behind her. [Exeunt, L. H. Enter King Richard in great disorder, on foot, followed by Ratcliff, L. H.

King R.
An ass! an ass! half a sovereign for an ass.

Rat.
This way, my lord; as I did pass,
I saw one in the field at grass.

King R.
Asses now are all a farce. [Ratcliff runs off, L. H.
No! I'm determin'd not to yield,
If there should be six Richmonds in the field.
An ass! an ass! a sovereign for an ass. [Exit, R. H. SCENE X. —The Prize Ring at Moulsey Hurst. Richmond and Oxford in the Ring; The Mob discovered round it. Enter King Richard, who jumps into the Ring, followed by Catesby. Oxford and Catesby stand as the Bottle-holders.

Air, “Quite politely.” King R.
Of one or both, the time is come,
  I am ready, I am ready. Richm.
Put up your sword, it is all hung,
  Let's set too with our mauleys.

King R.
I'll draw your claret first, I swear. Richm.
I'd have you of your's beware;
Here's at you—I have done it—there! Cat.
  Richmond much too tall is. Mob.
Huzza! huzza! huzza! huzza! King R.
  I am for you. Richm.
  I will floor you. [knocks him down. Mob.
Huzza! huzza! huzza! huzza! King R.
  The devil take yonr mauleys.
You've hit me, verily, I swear,
  Right between, sir, right between, sir,
Two W's* ^note—you know where,
  But now I must not mention.
I'm dish'd—I wish you all good night;
I never more with him will fight,
For into me he's let day light. Richm.
  Such was my iutention. Mob.
Huzza! huzza! huzza! huzza! King R.
  I am done, sir,
  With your fun, sir,
Oh, la! oh, la! oh, la! oh, la!
  You've taken my dimension. [Dies.

King Henry's Ghost rises, R. H.

Air, “Over the Water to Charlie.” King Hen.
Behold I now the ghost give up,
  For I am tir'd of it. Lady Anne's Ghost rises, L. H. Lady A.
And I will keep a brandy shop
  And drink away the profit. King R. (rises)
And I will come and deal with you,
  If folks, you mean to trust 'em;
And those I hope within my view,
  Will give you nightly custom.
Tol de rol, &c. They all Dance, and the Curtain falls.

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