Speed.

Launce, by mine honesty, welcome to † ^note Milan.

Laun.

Forswear not thy self, sweet youth; for I am not welcome: I reckon this always, that a man is never undone, 'till he be hang'd; nor never welcome to a place, till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say, welcome.

Speed.

Come on, you mad-cap; I'll to the ale-house with you presently, where, for one shot of five-pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, Sirrah, how did thy master part with madam Julia?

Laun.

Marry, after they clos'd in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest.

Speed.

But shall she marry him?

Laun.

No.

Speed.

How then? shall he marry her?

Laun.

No, neither.

Speed.

What, are they broken?

Laun.

No, they are both as whole as a fish.

Speed.

Why then how stands the matter with them?

Laun.

Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well with her.

Speed.

What an ass art thou? I understand thee not.

Laun.

What a block art thou, that thou canst not? My staff understands me.

Speed.

What thou say'st?

Laun.

Ay, and what I do too? look thee, I'll but lean, and my staff understands me.

Speed.

It stands under thee indeed.

Laun.

Why, stand-under, and understand, is all one.

Speed.

But tell me true, will't be a match?

Laun.

Ask my dog: if he say, ay, it will; if he say, no, it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will.

Speed.

The conclusion is then, that it will.

Laun.

Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but by a parable.

Speed.

'Tis well, that I get it so; but, Launce, how say'st thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

Laun.

I never knew him otherwise.

Speed.

Than how?

Laun.

A notable Lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

Speed.

Why, thou whorson ass, thou mistak'st me.

Laun.

Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

Speed.

I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

Laun.

Why, I tell thee, I care not tho' he burn himself in love: If thou wilt go with me to the ale-house, so; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

Speed.

Why?

Laun.

Because thou hast not so much charity in thee, as to go to the ale-house with a Christian: wilt thou go?

Speed.

At thy service.

Pro.
To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn;
To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn;
To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn:
And ev'n that pow'r, which gave me first my oath,
Provokes me to this threefold perjury.
Love bad me swear, and love bids me forswear:
O sweet-suggesting love! if thou hast sinn'd,
Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse it.
At first I did adore a twinkling star,
But now I worship a celestial sun.
Unheedful vows may heedfully be broken;
And he wants wit that wants resolved will,
To learn his wit t'exchange the bad for better.
Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad,
Whose Sov'raignty so oft thou hast preferr'd
With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths.
I cannot leave to love, and yet I do:
But there I leave to love, where I should love:
Julia I lose, and Valentine I lose:
If I keep them, I needs must lose my self:
If I lose them, this find I by their loss,
For Valentine, my self; for Julia, Silvia:—
I to my self am dearer than a friend;
For love is still most precious in its self:
And Silvia, (witness heav'n, that made her fair!)
Shews Julia but a swarthy Ethiope.
I will forget that Julia is alive,
Remembring that my love to her is dead:
And Valentine I'll hold an enemy,

Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.
I cannot now prove constant to my self,
Without some treachery us'd to Valentine:
This night, he meaneth with a corded ladder
To climb celestial Silvia's chamber-window;
My self in counsel his competitor.
Now presently I'll give her father notice
Of their disguising, and pretended flight;
Who, all enrag'd, will banish Valentine:
For Thurio, he intends, shall wed his daughter.
But, Valentine being gone, I'll quickly cross,
By some sly trick, blunt Thurio's dull proceeding.
Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift,
As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift! [Exit.

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