And. of S.
What does dis mean? locked out of my own house;
Dey wouldn't serve a dog so bad.

Dum. of S.
No, not a mouse.

And. of S.
I hab it. Here, Dummy-O, go buy a rope;
I'll hang dem all. Dat'll cure dem, I hope. (Gives him money).

Dum. of S.
I'll go. Say, let me leave it on 'em, won't you?

And. of S.
Fly!

Dum. of S.
I shan't be long.

And. of S.
Don't you. (Exit Dummy of S., L).
I'll settle wid dem, 'fore long. Enter Angle-O, R.

Ang.
Well met, Mr Andy Foolus.

And. of S.
How does you know me?

Ang.
I've brought you a chain.

And. of S.
A chain for me! jiss show me.

Ang.
Here you is; you told me bring it.

And. of S.
Did I? When?

Ang.
Dis morning when you left it with me. Then
I thought by meeting you 'twould save me walking.
There it is, well mended. But I've no time for talking. (gives gold chain).

And. of S.
Aint dat putty?

Ang.
Good bye!

And. of S.
Oh, fare you well. (Exit Angle-O, R).
Well, dis am curious. A gold chain for me.
I aint no loser, anyhow, dat I can see;
I never seed a place like dis afore,
De spirits surely must be around, if nothing more.
Ah, here comes dat Dummy-O again. Enter Dummy-O of E., L.

Dum. of E.
De bootmaker says dey'll be done to-night.

And. of S.
What'll be done?

Dum. of E.
Your boots. You know. All right.

And. of S.
All right? All wrong! Where's de rope you bought?

Dum. of E.
I bought! I bought no rope.

And. of S.
You know you ought,
I gave you money for it.

Dum. of E.
Not a cent;
To de bootmaker's, in Chatham Street, I went.

And. of S. (beating him).
Take that and go; don't show your face to-day.

Dum. of E.
Don't beat so hard. Well, so. I'll run away. (Beats him off L). Enter Andy Foolus, of Eph., and Dummy-O, of Syr. R.

And. of E.
Why, what de debbil does you mean by dis?
Fotch me a rope.

Dum. of S.
I'se sure dat aint amiss;
Dat's what you tole me fetch, to beat your wife,
Dat locked us out to-day, and made such strife.

And. of E.
Locked out? Dummy-O, I sent you for my boots. (Catches him by the hair).

Dum. of S.
Don't, don't. You'll pull my wool out by de roots. (Beats him) Enter Angle-O, R.

Ang.
Mr Andy Foolus, I'se back about the chain;
I made a mistake. I'll take it back again.

And. of E.
Take back? You haven't brought it to me yet.

Ang.
This one is yours.

And. of E.
So it is. On dat I'll bet.

Ang.
Give me de oder.

And. of E.
What oder? You gave me none.

Ang.
Come, come; no fooling. For de police I'll run;
Ah! ah! here comes one. So I won't go far. Enter Snyder-O, R.
Here took dis feller up, mister star.

Dum. of S.
Oh! leff us go home at once to his wife,
She'll make tings right. She will, I'll bet my life.

Sny.
Vot ish de madder here?

Dum. of S.
We're in a fix.

And. of E.
This fellow charges falsely.

Sny.
Daus is nix.
You go mit me: dem troubles all ve'll mend,
Up to de Tombs for ten days you ve'll send,
You all is drunk.

Dum. of S.
We're sober, I assure ye.

Sny.
Don't shpoke a vord. I been de shudge un shury.

QUARTETTE. Air—All the Blue Bonnets. Sny.
March! march! off to the station house,
  Von, two, togedder ve all go in order. Andy and Dummy.
March! march! off to our dwelling house,
  Settle de question mit brandy and water. Air—Yankee Doodle Dandy, oh! Omnes.
Now, as we go along, let us sing a jovial song,
  And let this be the chorus, neat and handy, O!
We'll settle our affairs, and we'll drive away our cares,
  By swigging off a jolly lot of brandy, O. (exeunt Omnes, L)

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