Adry.

Dar, by golly! 'taint no use in talkin'; dar's beaufulum pertaters and eberyting spiled, and my Andy not coming home to dinner. I spose he's off wid some oder wench.

Lucy.

Mebbe he's delayed wid business. You don't know, dese men am so varous in deir pussoots. He might be doin' some whitewashin' job, or sumsin'.

Adry.

Well, is your massa coming?

Dum. of S.
No; I'm dam if he is.

Adry.
Say, did you find him?

Dum. of S.
Yes; he's got his dander riz;
I tole him come to dinner. He said, ‘No.’
I said I'd wait for him; den he tole me go;
Says I; ‘My missee wants you home,’ ‘Get out,’ says he;
‘I neber was married, and don't intend to be.’

Adry.
De brute, de catamount,; oh, de assassinator.
How can I fix him off?

Dum. of S. (taking a potato).
Choke him wid a tater.

Lucy.
Didn't you tell him dat his dinner's ready!

Dum. of S.
I did; he wouldn't come.

Adry.
Dummy-O! does he walk steady?

Dum. of S.
Steady! what does you mean?

Adry.
Has he been drinking?

Dum. of S. Drinking.
No! nary drop. He's crazy, to my thinking;
He tole me dat he guv me a lot of money,
To put in bank. I golly, he talk'd so funny,
He made me laugh. Den, when I laugh'd he beat me,
I don't know why it am he'd so ill-treat me,

Lucy.
Dummy-O, you're drunk or else you're toling lies;
You didn't meet wid Andy. Let me see your eyes. (looks at him).
You're gone to the gin bottle; you've been makin' love.

Adry. (tragically).
Go fetch my Andy. By de stars above—
By all de little fishes in de sea,
If you don't bring my Andy back to me
I'll strangle you. Ha! ha! I'm in a rage.
Matilda Heron, Rachael, take me off de stage.

Lucy.
Go, Dummy-O. Make yourself scarce.

Dum. of S.
I'm gone. (exit Dum. of S. L).

Adry.
Lucy, that fellow's false. I know he's shamming.

Lucy.
Then, ‘go in, lemons,’ give him a good lamming,
Or, like the Randall's Island school teachers,
Put his tongue on the stove, and hold it till he screeches.

Adry. (suddenly).
Lucy, have you ever seen Mrs McMahon play Lady Macbeth?
How, she rages, tears, swears, flares, raves, goes it to the death.
That's how I feel now. I'm all on fire,
My dander's rising. Soon I can go no higher;
My rage is so great that out I cannot bring it. (to musician).
Will you accompany me? (he nods).
All right; I'll sing it.

SONG.—Adry. I Dreamt I Dwelt.
I dreamt that I dwelt in Tammany Hall,
  Wid sachems, and such by my side;
I thought that the place was prepared for a ball.
  And I had to let it all slide;
I had riches too great to—
      Hey, diddle, diddle,
      The cat's in the fiddle,
    The cow jumped over the moon;
      The little dog laughed

      To see the sport,
    The dish ran away with the spoon.
My father he was such a fine big man,
  He beat a big drum with a rataplan,
But he and Horace Greely could never agree.
  For the white coated editor he made love to me;
But he had to steer,
  For the fun was too dear,
So he had to trabel off on de bold privateer.

Lucy.

See! there goes Andy, and Dummy with him; they're passing by us. What de debbil does dey mean?

Adry.

I'll fetch 'em in, I'll bet a cookey (runs out).