JULIO.

So Sir, you're a pretty Lover indeed, to make your Mistress wait for you after this Manner.

VINCENTIO.

Why, dear Camilla, I come within an Hour of my Promise.

JULIO.

Break an Hour's Promise in Love!—He that will divide a Minute into a thousand Parts, and break but the thousandth Part of a Division in Love Affairs, it may

be said of him that Cupid has clapp'd him o'th' Shoulder, but I'll warrant him Heart-whole.

VINCENTIO.

I pr'ythee pardon me this once.

JULIO.

Nay, if you're so tardy, come no more in my Sight; I'd as lief be woo'd of a Snail.

VINCENTIO.

Of a Snail!

JULIO.

Aye, of a Snail; for tho' he comes slow, yet he brings his House on his Back, which I think is a better Jointure than you can make a Woman; besides, he brings his Destiny with him.

VINCENTIO.

What's that?

JULIO.

Horns; which such as you are fain to be beholden to your Wives for; but he comes arm'd in his Fortune, and saves the good Woman the Scandal.

VINCENTIO.

Virtue is no Horn-maker, and my Camilla is virtuous.

JULIO.

And I am your Camilla.

VINCENTIO.

You will have me call you so.

JULIO.

Well, leave fooling, and woo me then, for I'm in a Holiday Humour, and like enough to consent—Come, what wou'd you say to me if I were really your Camilla?

VINCENTIO.

I wou'd first salute you.

JULIO.

'Twere better Sir, in my Opinion, to defer the Kiss till you found yourself at a Loss for Matter; you might then introduce it to fill up a Vacancy: I think when a Lover has spent all his Rhetorick, a Kiss relieves him as genteelly, as a Cough does a Pleader when he does not know how to proceed in his Discourse.

VINCENTIO.

What if the Kiss be denied?

JULIO.

It gives convenient Matter for Argument: The Lady must be intreated, and the Lover defend himself.—Go to, what a Novice you are.

VINCENTIO.

No Man can surely be so dull to want for Matter on so fair a Theme.

JULIO.

You have a much better Opinion of your Mistress's Person, than her Wit then, to think she cou'd not soon put a Man, as deep in Love as you pretend to be, to a Loss for Discourse; Why you see you hardly know what to say to me, who only represent her. But come, let's try you once more; I speak for her, and say I'll not have you.—Ha! ha! ha! you're a pretty Fellow for a Lover indeed, to be struck mute at the first Denial—You shou'd rather have taken my Hand with a brisk Air, given it ten thousand Kisses, and swore that this was the happiest Minute of your Life, since it had always been a Custom in Love to read Women like Hebrew, backwards—Come, try again—I say, I hate you.

VINCENTIO.

If Camilla were to say so, I shou'd die.

JULIO.

Lud! lud! lud! you're quite wrong—I shou'd die!—You're one of the dullest Scholars—Why d'ye think Camilla wou'd like you e'er a Bit the better for dying? no, no Child, the Ladies don't know what to do with a dead Lover, 'tis the living they have Occasion for Besides, I hope you wou'd not go to bring up an ill Custom: And pray when did you ever hear of any body, that died for Love? Troilus got knock'd o'th' Head for peeping in at Diomede's Tent, when he was transacting some private Affairs; and I warrant you he died for Love: Poor Leander, as he was swimming in the Hellespont in a fine Summer's Evening, was taken with the Cramp, and drown'd, and yet he died for Love too I suppose; all your great Heroes died for Love: No, no Sir, 'tis true Men have dy'd in all Ages, but none of them for Love, believe me.

VINCENTIO.

You are merry Youth; but I wou'd not have my right Camilla o' this Mind for the World:—I'm sure her Frown wou'd kill me.

JULIO.

By this Light it wou'd not kill a Fly: But come, since you bear Adversity so ill, let's see how good Fortune will sit upon you; as thus now;—I will be your Camilla in a kinder Disposition, and do just, as you wou'd have me.

VINCENTIO.

Then pr'ythee love me.

JULIO.

Yes Faith will I, Fast-Days, Lent, and all.

VINCENTIO.

And will you have me?

JULIO.

Aye, and twenty such.

VINCENTIO.

How!

JULIO.

Are not you good?

VINCENTIO.

I hope so?

JULIO.

Go to; can one have too much of a good Thing?— Well, but I'm to have you, you say; and see here comes my Sister opportunely to marry us.