Spe.

Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan.

Lau.

Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always—That a man is never undone, 'till he be hang'd; nor never welcome to a place, 'till some certain shot be pay'd, and the hostess say, welcome.

Spe.

Come on, you mad-cap, I'll to the ale-house with you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with madam Julia?

Lau.

Marry, after they clos'd in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest.

Spe.

But shall she marry him?

Lau.

No.

Spe.

How then, shall he marry her?

Lau.

No, neither.

Spe.

What, are they broken?

Lau.

No, they are both as whole as a fish.

&blquo;Spe.

&blquo;Why then, how stands the matter with them?&brquo;

&blquo;Lau.

&blquo;Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her.&brquo;

&blquo;Spe.

&blquo;What an ass art thou? I understand thee not.&brquo;

&blquo;Lau.

&blquo;What a block art thou, that thou can'st not? my staff understands me.&brquo;

&blquo;Spe.

&blquo;What thou say'st?&brquo;

&blquo;Lau.

&blquo;Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean, and my staff understands me.&brquo;

&blquo;Spe.

&blquo;It stands under thee, indeed.&brquo;

&blquo;Lau.

&blquo;Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.&brquo;

Spe.

But, tell me true, will't be a match?

Lau.

Ask my dog: if he say, ay, it will; if he say, no, it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will.

Spe.

The conclusion is then, that it will.

&blquo;Lau.

&blquo;Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but by a parable.&brquo;

Spe.

'Tis well, that I get it so. But Launce, how say'st thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

Lau.

I never knew him otherwise.

Spe.

Than how?

Lau.

A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

Spe.

Why, thou whorson ass, thou mistak'st me.

Lau.

Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

Spe.

I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

Lau.

Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt go with me to the ale-house, so; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a christian.

Spe.

Why?

Lau.

Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to the ale with a christian: Wilt thou go?

Spe.

At thy service.