Duke Sen.
Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promis'd?

Orla.
I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not,
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe.

Ros.
Patience, once more, whilst our compact is urg'd.
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, [To the Duke.
You will bestow her on Orlando here?

Duke Sen.
That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

Ros.
And you say, you will have her when I bring her? [To Orlando.

Orla.
That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

Ros.
You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing? [To Phebe.

Phe.
That will I, should I die the hour after.

Ros.
But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd.

Phe.
So is the bargin.

Ros.
You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will? [To Silvius.

Sil.
Tho' to have her and death were both one thing.

Ros.
I've promis'd to make all this matter even.
Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter:
You, yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter.
Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me;
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd.
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her,

If she refuse me; and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even. [Ex. Ros. and Celia.

Duke Sen.
I do remember in this shepherd boy,
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.

Orla.
My lord, the first time I ever saw him,
Methought he was a brother to your daughter.
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies, by his uncle;
Whom he reports to be a great magician
Obscured in the circle of this forest. Enter Touchstone and Audrey.

Jaq.

There is sure another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are call'd fools.

Touch.

Salutation and greeting to you all.

Jaq.

Good, my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears.

Touch.

If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation: I have trod a measure, I have flatter'd a lady, I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy, I have undone three taylors, I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.

Jaq.

And how was that ta'en up?

Touch.

'Faith we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.

Jaq.

How the seventh cause? Good, my lord, like this fellow.

Duke Sen.

I like him, very well.

Touch.

God'ild you, sir, I desire you of the like: I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear, according as marriage binds, and blood breaks: a poor virgin, sir, an ill-favour'd thing, sir, but mine own, a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that no man else will. Rich honestly dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in foul oysters.

Duke Sen.

By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.

Touch.

According to the fools bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases.

Jaq.

But for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?

Touch.

Upon a lye seven times remov'd; (bear your body more seeming, Audrey) as thus, sir; I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was; this is called the retort courteous. If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he wou'd send me word, he cut it to please himself; this is call'd the quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment; this is called the reply churlish. If, again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true; this is called the reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie; this is called the countercheck quarrelsome; and so the lie circumstantial, and the lie direct.

Jaq.

And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?

Touch.

I durst not go further than the lie circumstantial; nor he durst not give me the lie direct, and so we measured swords, and parted.

Jaq.

Can you nominate in order, now, the degrees of the lie?

Touch.

O, sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as you have books for good manners; I will name you the degrees. The first, the retort courteous; the second, the quip modest; the third, the reply churlish; the fourth, the reproof valiant; the fifth, the countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the lie with circumstance; the seventh, the lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If; as, you said so, then I said so; and they

shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker. Much virtue in If.* ^note

Jaq.

Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He's good at any thing, and yet a fool.

Duke Sen.

He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit: but let us think no more of him, and drown his remembrance, in a song.