Peto, at some distance.
Poins.
Come, shelter, shelter; I have removed
Falstaff's horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet2 note.
P. Hen.
Stand close.
Enter Falstaff.
Fal.
Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
P. Hen.
Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal; What a
brawling dost thou keep?
Fal.
Where's Poins, Hal?
P. Hen.
He is walked up to the top of the hill;
I'll go seek him.
[Pretends to seek Poins.
Fal.
I am accursed to rob in that thief's company:
the rascal hath removed my horse, and tied
him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by
the squire3 note
further afoot, I shall break my wind.
-- 245 --
Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all
this, if I 'scape hanging for killing that rogue. I
have forsworn his company hourly any time this
two-and-twenty year, and yet I am bewitched with
the rogue's company. If the rascal have not given
me medicines to make me love him4 note
, I'll be hanged;
it could not be else; I have drunk medicines.—
Poins!—Hal!—a plague upon you both!—Bardolph!
—Peto!—I'll starve, ere I'll rob a foot further5 note
.
An 'twere not as good a deed as drink, to
turn true man, and leave these rogues, I am the veriest
varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight
yards of uneven ground, is three score and ten miles
afoot with me; and the stony-hearted villains know
it well enough: A plague upon't, when thieves cannot
be true to one another! [They whistle.] Whew!
—A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you
rogues; give me my horse, and be hanged.
P. Hen.
Peace, ye fat-guts! lie down; lay thine
-- 246 --
ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear
the tread of travellers.
Fal.
Have you any levers to lift me up again,
being down? 'Sblood, I'll not bear mine own flesh
so far afoot again, for all the coin in thy father's
exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt6 note
me
thus?
P. Hen.
Thou liest, thou art not colted, thou art
uncolted.
Fal.
I pr'ythee, good prince Hal, help me to my
horse; good king's son.
P. Hen.
Out, you rogue! shall I be your ostler!
Fal.
Go, hang thyself in thy own heir-apparent
garters7 note! If I be ta'en, I'll peach for this. An I
have not ballads made on you all, and sung to filthy
tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison8 note
: When a jest
is so forward, and afoot too,—I hate it.
Enter Gadshill.
Gads.
Stand.
-- 247 --
Fal.
So I do, against my will.
Poins.
O, 'tis our setter: I know his voice.
Enter Bardolph.
Bard.
What news9 note
?
Gads.
Case ye, case ye; on with your visors;
there's money of the king's coming down the hill;
'tis going to the king's exchequer.
Fal.
You lie, you rogue; 'tis going to the king's
tavern.
Gads.
There's enough to make us all.
Fal.
To be hanged.
P. Hen.
Sirs, you four shall front them in the
narrow lane; Ned Poins, and I will walk lower: if
they 'scape from your encounter, then they light on
us.
Peto.
How many be there of them?
Gads.
Some eight, or ten.
Fal.
Zounds! will they not rob us?
P. Hen.
What, a coward, sir John Paunch?
Fal.
Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your
grandfather; but yet no coward, Hal.
P. Hen.
Well, we leave that to the proof.
Poins.
Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the
hedge; when thou needest him, there thou shalt
find him. Farewell, and stand fast.
-- 248 --
Fal.
Now cannot I strike him, if I should be
hanged.
P. Hen.
Ned, where are our disguises?
Poins.
Here, hard by; stand close.
[Exeunt P. Henry and Poins.
Fal.
Now, my masters, happy man be his dole1 note
,
say I; every man to his business.
Enter Travellers.
1 Trav.
Come, neighbour; the boy shall lead
our horses down the hill: we'll walk afoot awhile,
and ease our legs.
Thieves.
Stand.
Trav.
Jesu bless us!
Fal.
Strike; down with them; cut the villains'
throats: Ah! whorson caterpillars! bacon-fed
knaves! they hate us youth: down with them;
fleece them.
1 Trav.
O, we are undone, both we and ours,
for ever.
Fal.
Hang ye, gorbellied2 note
knaves; Are ye undone?
-- 249 --
No, ye fat chuffs3 note
; I would, your store were
here! On, bacons, on! What, ye knaves? young
men must live: You are grand-jurors are ye? We'll
jure ye, i' faith.
[Exeunt Fal. &c. driving the Travellers out.
Re-enter Prince Henry and Poins* note.
P. Hen.
The thieves have bound the true men4 note
:
Now could thou and I rob the thieves, and go merrily
-- 250 --
to London, it would be argument for a week5 note
,
laughter for a month, and a good jest for ever.
Poins.
Stand close, I hear them coming.
Re-enter Thieves.
Fal.
Come, my masters, let us share, and then
to horse before day. An the prince and Poins be
not two arrant cowards, there's no equity stirring:
there's no more valour in that Poins, than in a wild
duck.
P. Hen.
Your money.
[Rushing out upon them.
Poins.
Villains.
[As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them. Falstaff, after a blow or two, and the rest, run away, leaving the booty behind them.]
P. Hen.
Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse:
The thieves are scatter'd, and possess'd with fear
So strongly, that they dare not meet each other;
Each takes his fellow for an officer6 note
.
Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death,
And lards the lean earth7 note
as he walks along:
-- 251 --
We'rt not for laughing, I should pity him.
Poins.
How the rogue roar'd!
[Exeunt.
James Boswell [1821], The plays and poems of William Shakspeare, with the corrections and illustrations of various commentators: comprehending A Life of the Poet, and an enlarged history of the stage, by the late Edmond Malone. With a new glossarial index (J. Deighton and Sons, Cambridge) [word count] [S10201].
