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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 186.[end figure description]

It will probely fill you with an arnest solisitude for
mi fate, az it dus me with emoshuns of stupenjus
grander, tu find miself at this grate modern Siloam,
this august whirlpool ov wine, wimmin and hosses;
this fairy sceen ov poetry, dreams, and natural fisick.
Upon mi arival, i took immegiate rooms at the tavern
called the “Union now and forever,” and commensed
at onst tu kreate a sensashun — “Dignatum
hok hanimum disisimo.” This centiment is from
the Chocktaw ov Raphael, and is one ov mi faverite

The town is about haf full ov folks, menny of them
hav been highly renowned. I kould name them
personaly by name, but this wud look like affekshun
in me, az tha hav alreddy sent in their kard, and
begged the privilege ov kalling on me, at mi moste
soonest spare time. It will be impossible for me,

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my amiable friends, tu give yu ennything like a
well digested orashun, ov the eckstatick wonders
that hover around me, among which i am permitted
tu menshun the pensiv modesta ov the unmarried;
the gushing rapture ov the married; the shadowy
tenderness ov the widders, and the universal fisick
that fills up the pauzes. Theze are subjecks which
hav bin writ onto so much that all the good things
haz bin said.

It iz a source ov grate pride tu see so menny
here from youre citty, and what fills me with gratitude
tu an overruling Providence, iz the fac that
their festiv naturs develop into such lovelyness
here; thare iz dekon L—, and Elder P—, for
instanze, with whom i take a drink evry time tha
ask me. I think now that i shall remain here for
sevral years. I am allmost sorry i didn't bring mi
jewelry trunk with me; i'll bet i could hav sold a
thousand Dollars worth a da, ov brest pins. It iz a
fust rate place here tu buy hosses cheap. i waz offered
2 carriage hosses for onla 25 hundred dollars;
i shud hav tuk them, but i couldn't hire enny
boddy tu take them hum for me. There iz a grate
menny here who talk with a forrin tung. I am
trieing it. My wife laffs at me, and kalls me “her

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[figure description] Page 188.[end figure description]

dark komplekted one!” — Tha hav got here alreddy
tu or three billyard tabils in suckcessful operrashun,
and i am told that, if pease iz declared, nex season
tha intend tu start a 10-pin allee.

Congriss Spring is lokated here; it tasts verry
much like sumthing or ruther, i kant tell which, and
iz now generally admitted tu be kartharticus. I
am partiklar impressed with the moral centiment that
pervades things here. I am told a man wanted tu
hire a room tu gamble in with dominoze, but the authoritize
immejiately burnt him in effigee. Dimonds
are trumps here, and menny good hands are held.
Thare is no end tu the number ov selebrated belles
here. Thare is one that cums out about 3 o'clock
every day, that takes them all down. I allude now
in a kind ov burleskish wa tu the dinner-bell.
But, after all, Solomon gits mi time when he bust
out in this fashun, “All is vanitee and vexashun of
spirits.” Good for Solomon! Mi christain friends,

Josh Billings.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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