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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 176.[end figure description]

I never kan eradicate holy from mi memry the sound
ov the first gong I ever herd — i was setting on the
frunt stupe ov a tavern in the sitty ov Bufferlo, pensively
a smokin. The sun was a goin tu bed, and the
heavens fur and nere was blushing at the purformanse.
The Eri kanall with its goldin waters was on
its windin wa tu albany, and i was perusin the line
botes, a flotin by, and thinkin ov Italy, (whare i used
tu live,) and her gondolers, and gallus wimmin. Mi
entire sole was, as it ware in a swet, i wanted tu climb,
i felt grate, i aktually grew. Thar ar things in this
life tu big tu be trifled with, thar ar times when a
man brakes luce from hisself, when he sees speerits,
when he kan almost tuch the moon, and feels as tho
he kud fill both hands with the stars ov heavin and
almost sware he was a bank president. Thats what
ailed me. But the korse ov tru luv never did run

-- 177 --

[figure description] Page 177.[end figure description]

smoove, (this iz Shakesperes opinion too, i and he
often think thru one quill) just az i was duing my
best,.... dummer, dummer, spat, bang, beller,
crash, roar, ram, dummer, dummer, whang, rip, rare
rally; dummer dummer, dummer dum,.... with
one tremenjis jump, i struck the senter ov the side
walk, with anuther i kleared the gutter and with
anuther, i stud in the middle ov the strets snorting
like a injin poney, at a band ov musik; i gazed in
wilde dispare at the tavern stand, mi harte swelled
up as big as an out door oven, mi teeth were as luce
as a string ov prairy beads. I thout all the crokery in
the tavern stand had fell down, i thout ov fenomenoms,
i thought ov gabrel and his horn. i was just
on the pint ov thinking ov sumthing else when the
landlord cum out to the frunt stupe ov the tavern
stand holding by a string the bottom ov an old brass
kittle. He called me gentla with his hand i went
slola and sadla tu him, he calmed mi feres, he ced
it was a gong; i saw the cussed thing, he ced supper
was reddy, he axed me if i would hav black or
green tea and i ced i would.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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