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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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[figure description] Page 120.[end figure description]

This waz the private opinion ov one Burns, a
Skotchman, who waz very edikated tew poetri from
his infansy. I and he differ, which is not uncommon
among grate minds. The ornary minds in this
wurld are disposed tew coinside, which iz the reson
whi superstitions prevale so mutch. Tew differ upon
matters with anuther is a fair presumpshun that
yu are in the habit ov smelling ov things before yu
swaller them. Man warnt made tew mourn, man
waz made tew laff. He iz the onla creeter or thing
that God made tew laff out loud. It iz tru he
knows how to mourn, so duz the animills kno how,
the birds can tell their sorrows, and the flowers kan
hang their pretty heds. Man waz made tew smile,
tew laff, tew haw! tew thro up his hat, and sing
halleluger. Man waz made tew praze God, and he
cant dew it bi mourning. Awl the mourning thare

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iz in this wurld was introduced bi man; man warnt
made tew mourn any more than he was made to
crawl. Tharfore i sa tew awl men and women, stop
crying and go tew laffing, yu will last longer, and
git fatter and stand jist as good a chanse tew git tew
heaven with a smile on your countenanse, as yu
will with yure fase leaking at every pore. I sa
man want made tew mourn, if he had bin he would
not hav bin put in Paradise, whare every thing else
was made in the image ov smiles.

P. S.—I don't want ennybody tew think that i
am down on Burns, for i dew consider him the most
Poet that ever lived. I had ruther be the authur ov
one poum i kno ov, that he rit, than tew be king
and queen ov England, and keep a hoss and carriage;
but “man warnt made tew mourn” Robert
Burns, he iz the kause of hiz own sorrow. For
enny further informashun tutching this subjek, address,
post paid, with stamp enclosed.

Josh Billings.

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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