SCENE V.
Court before the Same.
Enter Lear, Kent, and Fool.
Lear.
Go you before to Gloster with these letters.
Acquaint my daughter no farther with any thing you
know, than comes from her demand out of the letter.
If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there before
you.
-- 389 --
Kent.
I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered
your letter.
[Exit.
Fool.
If a man's brains were in's heels, were't not in
danger of kibes?
Lear.
Ay, boy.
Fool.
Then, I pr'ythee, be merry; thy wit shall not
go slip-shod.
Lear.
Ha, ha, ha!
Fool.
Shalt see, thy other daughter will use thee
kindly; for though she's as like this, as a crab is like an
apple, yet I can tell what I can tell6 note.
Lear.
What canst tell, boy?
Fool.
She will taste as like this, as a crab does to a
crab. Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i' the
middle on's face.
Lear.
No.
Fool.
Why, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose;
that what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.
Lear.
I did her wrong.—
Fool.
Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?
Lear.
No.
Fool.
Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has
a house.
Lear.
Why?
Fool.
Why, to put his head in; not to give it away
to his daughters, and leave his horns without a case.
Lear.
I will forget my nature.—So kind a father!—
Be my horses ready?
Fool.
Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason
why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty
reason.
Lear.
Because they are not eight?
Fool.
Yes, indeed. Thou wouldest make a good fool.
-- 390 --
Lear.
To take it again perforce!—Monster ingratitude!
Fool.
If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'd have thee
beaten for being old before thy time.
Lear.
How's that?
Fool.
Thou shouldst not have been old before thou
hadst been wise.
Lear.
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven!
Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!—
Enter Gentleman.
How now! Are the horses ready?
Gent.
Ready, my lord.
Lear.
Come, boy.
Fool.
She that's a maid now, and laughs at my departure,
Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter.
[Exeunt.
J. Payne Collier [1842–1844], The works of William Shakespeare. The text formed from an entirely new collation of the old editions: with the various readings, notes, a life of the poet, and a history of the Early English stage. By J. Payne Collier, Esq. F.S.A. In eight volumes (Whittaker & Co. [etc.], London) [word count] [S10101].
