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J. Payne Collier [1842–1844], The works of William Shakespeare. The text formed from an entirely new collation of the old editions: with the various readings, notes, a life of the poet, and a history of the Early English stage. By J. Payne Collier, Esq. F.S.A. In eight volumes (Whittaker & Co. [etc.], London) [word count] [S10101].
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SCENE I. 11Q1038 A Church Yard. Enter Two Clowns, with Spades, &c.

1 Clo.

Is she to be buried in Christian burial, that wilfully seeks6 note her own salvation?

2 Clo.

I tell thee, she is; and therefore make her grave straight: the crowner hath set on her, and finds it Christian burial.

1 Clo.

How can that be, unless she drowned herself in her own defence?

2 Clo.

Why, 'tis found so.

-- 322 --

1 Clo.

It must be se offendendo7 note; it cannot be else. For here lies the point: if I drown myself wittingly, it argues an act, and an act hath three branches; it is, to act, to do, and to perform: argal, she drowned herself wittingly.

2 Clo.

Nay, but hear you, goodman delver.

1 Clo.

Give me leave. Here lies the water; good: here stands the man; good: if the man go to this water, and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he goes, mark you that; but if the water come to him, and drown him, he drowns not himself: argal, he that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life.

2 Clo.

But is this law?

1 Clo.

Ay, marry, is't; crowner's quest-law.

2 Clo.

Will you ha' the truth on't? If this had not been a gentlewoman, she should have been buried out of Christian burial.

1 Clo.

Why, there thou say'st; and the more pity, that great folk shall have countenance in this world to drown or hang themselves, more than their even Christian8 note. Come, my spade. There is no ancient gentlemen but gardeners, ditchers, and grave-makers; they hold up Adam's profession.

2 Clo.

Was he a gentleman?

1 Clo.

He was the first that ever bore arms.

2 Clo.

Why, he had none.

1 Clo.

What, art a heathen? How dost thou understand the Scripture? The Scripture says, Adam digged: could he dig without arms9 note? I'll put another question

-- 323 --

to thee: if thou answerest me not to the purpose, confess thyself—

2 Clo.

Go to.

1 Clo.

What is he, that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?

2 Clo.

The gallows-maker; for that frame1 note outlives a thousand tenants.

1 Clo.

I like thy wit well, in good faith: the gallows does well; but how does it well? it does well to those that do ill: now, thou dost ill to say the gallows is built stronger than the church: argal, the gallows may do well to thee. To't again; come.

2 Clo.

Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?

1 Clo.

Ay, tell me that, and unyoke.

2 Clo.

Marry, now I can tell.

1 Clo.

To't.

2 Clo.

Mass, I cannot tell.

Enter Hamlet and Horatio, at a distance.

1 Clo.

Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating; and, when you are asked this question next, say, a grave-maker: the houses that he makes, last till doomsday. Go, get thee to Yaughan2 note; fetch me a stoop of liquor.

[Exit 2 Clown.
1 Clown digs, and sings.
In youth, when I did love, did love3 note



,
  Methought it was very sweet,

-- 324 --


To contract, O! the time, for, ah! my behove4 note,
  O methought, there was nothing meet.

Ham.

Has this fellow no feeling of his business, that he sings at grave-making?

Hor.

Custom hath made it in him a property of easiness.

Ham.

'Tis e'en so: the hand of little employment hath the daintier sense.


1 Clo.
But age, with his stealing steps,
  Hath claw'd me in his clutch5 note,
And hath shipped me intill the land,
  As if I had never been such.
[Throws up a scull.

Ham.

That scull had a tongue in it, and could sing once: how the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were Cain's jaw-bone, that did the first murder! This might be the pate of a politician, which this ass now o'er-reaches6 note, one that would circumvent God, might it not?

Hor.

It might, my lord.

Ham.

Or of a courtier, which could say, “Good-morrow, sweet lord! How dost thou, good lord?” This might be my lord such-a-one, that praised my

-- 325 --

lord such-a-one's horse, when he meant to beg it, might it not?

Hor.

Ay, my lord.

Ham.

Why, e'en so, and now my lady Worn's; chapless, and knocked about the mazzard with a sextion's spade. Here's fine revolution, an we had the trick to see't. Did these bones cost no more the breeding, but to play at loggats with them7 note? mine ache to think on't.


1 Clo.
A pick-axe, and a spade, a spade, [Sings.
  For—and a shrouding sheet:
O! a pit of clay for to be made
  For such a guest is meet.
[Throws up another scull.

Ham.

There's another: why may not that be the scull of a lawyer? Where be his quiddits now, his quillets, his cases, his tenures, and his tricks? why does he suffer this rude knave8 note now to knock him about the sconce with a dirty shovel, and will not tell him of his action of battery? Humph! This fellow might be in's time a great buyer of land, with his statutes, his recognizances, his fines, his double vouchers, his recoveries: is this the fine of his fines, and the recovery of his recoveries, to have his fine pate full of fine dirt? will his vouchers vouch him no more of his purchases, and double ones too9 note, than the length and breadth of a pair of indentures? The very conveyances of his lands

-- 326 --

will hardly lie in this box, and must the inheritor himself have no more? ha?

Hor.

Not a jot more, my lord.

Ham.

Is not parchment made of sheep-skins?

Hor.

Ay, my lord, and of calf-skins too.

Ham.

They are sheep, and calves, which seek out assurance in that. I will speak to this fellow.—Whose grave's this, sir?

1 Clo.

Mine, sir.—



O, a pit of clay for to be made [Sings.
  For such a guest is meet.

Ham.

I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.

1 Clo.

You lie out on't, sir, and therefore it is not yours: for my part, I do not lie in't, and yet it is mine.

Ham.

Thou dost lie in't, to be in't, and say it is thine: 'tis for the dead, not for the quick; therefore, thou liest.

1 Clo.

'Tis a quick lie, sir; 'twill away again, from me to you.

Ham.

What man dost thou dig it for?

1 Clo.

For no man, sir.

Ham.

What woman, then?

1 Clo.

For none, neither.

Ham.

Who is to be buried in't?

1 Clo.

One, that was a woman, sir; but, rest her soul, she's dead.

Ham.

How absolute the knave is! we must speak by the card, or equivocation will undo us. By the lord, Horatio, these three years I have taken note of it; the age is grown so picked, that the toe of the peasant comes so near the heel of the courtier1 note, he galls his kibe.—How long hast thou been a grave-maker?

-- 327 --

1 Clo.

Of all the days i' the year, I came to't that day that our last king Hamlet overcame Fortinbras.

Ham.

How long is that since?

1 Clo.

Cannot you tell that? every fool can tell that. It was the very day that young Hamlet was born; he that is mad, and sent into England.

Ham.

Ay, marry; why was he sent into England?

1 Clo.

Why, because he was mad: he shall recover his wits there; or, if he do not, 'tis no great matter there.

Ham.

Why?

1 Clo.

'Twill not be seen in him there; there, the men are as mad as he.

Ham.

How came he mad?

1 Clo.

Very strangely, they say.

Ham.

How strangely?

1 Clo.

'Faith, e'en with losing his wits.

Ham.

Upon what ground?

1 Clo.

Why, here in Denmark: I have been sexton here2 note, man, and boy, thirty years.

Ham.

How long will a man lie i'the earth ere he rot?

1 Clo.

'Faith, if he be not rotten before he die, (as we have many pocky corses now-a-days3 note, that will scarce hold the laying in) he will last you some eight year, or nine year: a tanner will last you nine year.

Ham.

Why he more than another?

1 Clo.

Why, sir, his hide is so tanned with his trade, that he will keep out water a great while, and your water is a sore decayer of your whoreson dead body. Here's a scull now; this scull hath lain you i'the earth three-and-twenty years.

Ham.

Whose was it?

-- 328 --

1 Clo.

A whoreson mad fellow's it was: whose do you think it was?

Ham.

Nay, I know not.

1 Clo.

A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! a' poured a flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same scull, sir, this same scull, sir, was Yorick's scull, the king's jester.

Ham.

This?

[Takes the Scull.

1 Clo.

E'en that.

Ham.

Let me see4 note. Alas, poor Yorick!—I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is5 note! my gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips, that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning6 note? quite chap-fallen? Now, get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that.—Pr'ythee, Horatio, tell me one thing.

Hor.

What's that, my lord?

Ham.

Dost thou think, Alexander looked o'this fashion i'the earth?

Hor.

E'en so.

Ham.

And smelt so? pah!

[Puts down the Scull.

Hor.

E'en so, my lord.

Ham.

To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander, till he find it stopping a bung-hole?

-- 329 --

Hor.

'Twere to consider too curiously, to consider so.

Ham.

No, faith, not a jot; but to follow him thither with modesty enough, and likelihood to lead it: as thus7 note; Alexander died, Alexander was buried, Alexander returneth into dust; the dust is earth; of earth we make loam, and why of that loam, whereto he was converted, might they not stop a beer-barrel?


  Imperial Cæsar8 note, dead, and turn'd to clay, 11Q1039
  Might stop a hole to keep the wind away:
  O that that earth, which kept the world in awe,
  Should patch a wall t' expel the winter's flaw9 note!
But soft! but soft! aside:—here comes the king, Enter Priests, &c. in Procession; the Corpse of Ophelia, Laertes and Mourners following; King, Queen, their Trains, &c.
The queen, the courtiers. Who is that they follow,
And with such maimed rites? This doth betoken,
The corse they follow did with desperate hand
Fordo its own life: 'twas of some estate10 note.
Couch we a while, and mark. [Retiring with Horatio.

Laer.
What ceremony else?

Ham.
That is Laertes,
A very noble youth: mark.

Laer.
What ceremony else?

1 Priest1 note.
Her obsequies have been as far enlarg'd
As we have warranty: her death was doubtful;

-- 330 --


And but that great command o'ersways the order,
She should in ground unsanctified have lodg'd,
Till the last trumpet; for charitable prayers,
Shards2 note, flints, and pebbles, should be thrown on her;
Yet here she is allow'd her virgin crants3 note,
Her maiden strewments, and the bringing home
Of bell and burial.

Laer.
Must there no more be done?

1 Priest.
No more be done.
We should profane the service of the dead,
To sing a requiem4 note, and such rest to her
As to peace-parted souls.

Laer.
Lay her i'the earth;
And from her fair and unpolluted flesh,
May violets spring!—I tell thee, churlish priest,
A ministering angel shall my sister be,
When thou liest howling.

Ham.
What! the fair Ophelia?

Queen.
Sweets to the sweet: farewell. [Scattering flowers.
I hop'd thou should'st have been my Hamlet's wife:
I thought thy bride-bed to have deck'd, sweet maid,
And not to have strew'd thy grave.

Laer.
O! treble woe5 note
Fall ten times treble on that cursed head,
Whose wicked deed thy most ingenious sense
Depriv'd thee of!—Hold off the earth awhile,
Till I have caught her once more in mine arms. [Leaping into the Grave.

-- 331 --


Now pile your dust upon the quick and dead,
Till of this flat a mountain you have made,
To o'er-top old Pelion, or the skyish head
Of blue Olympus.

Ham. [Advancing.]
What is he, whose grief
Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow
Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand,
Like wonder-wounded hearers? this is I,
Hamlet the Dane.
[Leaping into the Grave.

Laer.
The devil take thy soul!
[Grappling with him.

Ham.
Thou pray'st not well.
I pr'ythee, take thy fingers from my throat;
For though I am not6 note splenetive and rash,
Yet have I in me something dangerous,
Which let thy wisdom fear. Hold off thy hand7 note.

King.
Pluck them asunder.

Queen.
Hamlet! Hamlet!

All.
Gentlemen8 note,—

Hor.
Good my lord, be quiet.
[The Attendants part them, and they come out of the Grave.

Ham.
Why, I will fight with him upon this theme,
Until my eyelids will no longer wag.

Queen.
O my son! what theme?

Ham.
I lov'd Ophelia: forty thousand brothers
Could not, with all their quantity of love,
Make up my sum.—What wilt thou do for her?

King.
O! he is mad, Laertes.

Queen.
For love of God, forbear him.

Ham.
'Swounds9 note! show me what thou'lt do:

-- 332 --


Woul't weep? woul't fight? woul't fast? woul't tear thyself?
Woul't drink up Esill1 note? eat a crocodile?
I'll do't.—Dost thou come here to whine? 11Q1040
To outface me with leaping in her grave?
Be buried quick with her, and so will I:
And, if thou prate of mountains, let them throw
Millions of acres on us; till our ground,
Singeing his pate against the burning zone,
Make Ossa like a wart! Nay, an thou'lt mouth,
I'll rant as well as thou.

Queen.
This is mere madness2 note:
And thus a while the fit will work on him;
Anon, as patient as the female dove,
When that her golden couplets are disclos'd3 note,
His silence will sit drooping.

Ham.
Hear you, sir:
What is the reason that you use me thus?
I lov'd you ever: but it is no matter;
Let Hercules himself do what he may,
The cat will mew, and dog will have his day.
[Exit.

King.
I pray you, good Horatio, wait upon him.— [Exit Horatio. [To Laertes.]
Strengthen your patience in our last night's speech;
We'll put the matter to the present push.—
Good Gertrude, set some watch over your son.—
This grave shall have a living monument:

-- 333 --


An hour of quiet thereby shall we see4 note;
Till then, in patience our proceeding be. [Exeunt.

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J. Payne Collier [1842–1844], The works of William Shakespeare. The text formed from an entirely new collation of the old editions: with the various readings, notes, a life of the poet, and a history of the Early English stage. By J. Payne Collier, Esq. F.S.A. In eight volumes (Whittaker & Co. [etc.], London) [word count] [S10101].
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