Audrey.
Touch.
We shall find a time, Audrey: patience,
gentle Audrey.
Aud.
'Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the
old gentleman's saying.
Touch.
A most wicked sir Oliver, Audrey; a most
vile Mar-text. But, Audrey; there is a youth here in
the forest lays claim to you.
Aud.
Ay, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in
me in the world. Here comes the man you mean.
Enter William.
Touch.
It is meat and drink to me to see a clown.
-- 85 --
By my troth, we that have good wits have much to
answer for: we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
Will.
Good even, Audrey.
Aud.
God ye good even, William.
Will.
And good even to you, sir.
Touch.
Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head,
cover thy head: nay, pr'ythee, be covered. How old
are you, friend?
Will.
Five and twenty, sir.
Touch.
A ripe age. Is thy name William?
Will.
William, sir.
Touch.
A fair name. Wast born i'the forest here?
Will.
Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touch.
Thank God;—a good answer. Art rich?
Will.
'Faith, sir, so, so.
Touch.
So, so, is good, very good, very excellent
good:—and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?
Will.
Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touch.
Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember
a saying; “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise
man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher,
when he had a desire to eat a grape, would
open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning
thereby, that grapes were made to eat, and lips to
open. You do love this maid?
Will.
I do, sir.
Touch.
Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
Will.
No, sir.
Touch.
Then learn this of me. To have, is to have;
for it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink, being poured
out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty
the other; for all your writers do consent, that ipse is
he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
Will.
Which he, sir?
Touch.
He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore,
you clown, abandon,—which is in the vulgar,
leave,—the society,—which in the boorish is, company,
-- 86 --
—of this female,—which in the common is,—woman;
which together is, abandon the society of this female,
or, clown thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding,
diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away,
translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage.
I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in
steel: I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'errun
thee with policy7 note; I will kill thee a hundred and
fifty ways: therefore tremble, and depart.
Aud.
Do, good William.
Will.
God rest you merry, sir.
[Exit.
Enter Corin.
Cor.
Our master and mistress seek you: come, away,
away!
Touch.
Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I
attend.
[Exeunt.
J. Payne Collier [1842–1844], The works of William Shakespeare. The text formed from an entirely new collation of the old editions: with the various readings, notes, a life of the poet, and a history of the Early English stage. By J. Payne Collier, Esq. F.S.A. In eight volumes (Whittaker & Co. [etc.], London) [word count] [S10101].
