William.
Mrs. Page.
Is he at master Ford's already, think'st
thou?
Quick.
Sure, he is by this, or will be presently; but
truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing
into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come
suddenly.
-- 243 --
Mrs. Page.
I'll be with her by and by: I'll but bring
my young man here to school. Look, where his master
comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans.
How now, sir Hugh! no school to-day?
Eva.
No; master Slender is let the boys leave to
play. 11Q0085
Quick.
Blessing of his heart!
Mrs. Page.
Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son profits
nothing in the world at his book: I pray you, ask
him some questions in his accidence.
Eva.
Come hither, William: hold up your head;
come.
Mrs. Page.
Come on, sirrah: hold up your head;
answer your master, be not afraid.
Eva.
William, how many numbers is in nouns?
Will.
Two.
Quick.
Truly, I thought there had been one number
more, because they say, od's nouns.
Eva.
Peace your tattlings!—What is fair, William?
Will.
Pulcher.
Quick.
Pole-cats! there are fairer things than pole-
cats, sure.
Eva.
You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you,
peace.—What is lapis, William?
Will.
A stone.
Eva.
And what is a stone, William?
Will.
A pebble.
Eva.
No, it is lapis: I pray you remember in your
prain.
Will.
Lapis.
Eva.
That is good, William. What is he, William,
that does lend articles?
Will.
Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be
thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc.
-- 244 --
Evans.
Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; —pray you, mark:
genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?
Will.
Accusativo, hinc.
Eva.
I pray you, have your remembrance, child:
accusativo, hing, hang, hog.
Quick.
Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
Eva.
Leave your prabbles, 'oman.—What is the
focative case, William?
Will.
O—vocativo, O.
Eva.
Remember, William; focative is, caret.
Quick.
And that's a good root.
Eva.
'Oman, forbear.
Mrs. Page
Peace!
Eva.
What is your genitive case plural, William?
Will.
Genitive case?
Eva.
Ay.
Will.
Genitive,—horum, harum, horum.
Quick.
Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her!—
Never name her, child, if she be a whore.
Eva.
For shame, 'oman!
Quick.
You do ill to teach the child such words.—
He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do
fast enough of themselves; and to call horum,—fie
upon you!
Eva.
'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings
for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders?
Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I
would desires.
Mrs. Page.
Pr'ythee hold thy peace.
Eva.
Show me now, William, some declensions of
your pronouns.
Will.
Forsooth, I have forgot.
Eva.
It is qui, quæ, quod; if you forget your quis,
your quæs, and your quods, you must be preeches. Go
your ways, and play; go.
Mrs. Page.
He is a better scholar, than I thought he
was.
-- 245 --
Eva.
He is a good sprag memory9 note. Farewell, mistress
Page.
Mrs. Page.
Adieu, good sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.]
Get you home, boy.—Come, we stay too long.
[Exeunt.
SCENE II.
A Room in Ford's House.
Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.
Fal.
Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my
sufferance. I see, you are obsequious in your love, and
I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, Mrs.
Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement,
complement, and ceremony of it. But are
you sure of your husband now?
Mrs. Ford.
He's a birding, sweet sir John.
Mrs. Page. [Within.]
What hoa! gossip Ford! what
hoa!
Mrs. Ford.
Step into the chamber, sir John.
[Exit Falstaff.
Enter Mrs. Page.
Mrs. Page.
How now, sweetheart! who's at home
besides yourself?
Mrs. Ford.
Why, none but mine own people.
Mrs. Page.
Indeed?
Mrs. Ford.
No, certainly.—[Aside.] Speak louder.
Mrs. Page.
Truly, I am so glad you have nobody
here.
Mrs. Ford.
Why?
Mrs. Page.
Why, woman, your husband is in his old
-- 246 --
lunes again1 note: he so takes on yonder with my husband;
so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's
daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets
himself on the forehead, crying, “Peer-out, Peer-out!”
that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but tameness,
civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is
in now. I am glad the fat knight is not here.
Mrs. Ford.
Why, does he talk of him?
Mrs. Page.
Of none but him; and swears, he was
carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a
basket: protests to my husband he is now here, and
hath drawn him and the rest of their company from
their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion.
But I am glad the knight is not here; now he
shall see his own foolery.
Mrs. Ford.
How near is he, mistress Page?
Mrs. Page.
Hard by; at street end: he will be here
anon.
Mrs. Ford.
I am undone! the knight is here.
Mrs. Page.
Why, then you are utterly shamed, and
he's but a dead man. What a woman are you!—
Away with him, away with him: better shame, than
murder.
Mrs. Ford.
Which way should he go? how should I
bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?
Re-enter Falstaff.
Fal.
No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I
not go out, ere he come?
Mrs. Page.
Alas, three of master Ford's brothers
watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out;
otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what
make you here?
-- 247 --
Fal.
What shall I do?—I'll creep up into the chimney.
Mrs. Ford.
There they always use to discharge their
birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole.
Fal.
Where is it?
Mrs. Ford.
He will seek there, on my word. Neither
press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an
abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes
to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the
house.
Fal.
I'll go out, then.
Mrs. Page.
If you go out2 note in your own semblance,
you die, sir John. Unless you go out disguised,—
Mrs. Ford.
How might we disguise him?
Mrs. Page.
Alas the day! I know not. There is no
woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might
put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.
Fal.
Good hearts, devise something: any extremity,
rather than a mischief.
Mrs. Ford.
My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford3 note,
has a gown above.
Mrs. Page.
On my word it will serve him; she's as
big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler
too.—Run up, sir John.
Mrs. Ford.
Go, go, sweet sir John: mistress Page
and I will look some linen for your head.
Mrs. Page.
Quick, quick: we'll come dress you
straight; put on the gown the while.
[Exit Falstaff.
-- 248 --
Mrs. Ford.
I would, my husband would meet him in
this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford;
he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house,
and hath threatened to beat her.
Mrs. Page.
Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel,
and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
Mrs. Ford.
But is my husband coming?
Mrs. Page.
Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of
the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.
Mrs. Ford.
We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men
to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with
it, as they did last time.
Mrs. Page.
Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go
dress him like the witch of Brentford.
Mrs. Ford.
I'll first direct my men, what they shall
do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him
straight.
[Exit.
Mrs. Page.
Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot
misuse him enough4 note.
We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:
We do not act, that often jest and laugh;
'Tis old but true, “Still swine eat all the draff.”
[Exit.
Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with two Servants.
Mrs. Ford.
Go, sirs, take the basket again on your
shoulders: your master is hard at door; if he bid you
set it down, obey him. Quickly; despatch.
[Exit.
1 Serv.
Come, come, take it up.
2 Serv.
Pray heaven, it be not full of knight again5 note.
1 Serv.
I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.
-- 249 -- 11Q0086
Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.
Ford.
Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have
you any way then to unfool me again?—Set down the
basket, villain.—Somebody call my wife.—Youth in a
basket6 note!—O you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a
ging7 note, a pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the
devil be shamed.—What, wife, I say! Come, come
forth: behold what honest clothes you send forth to
bleaching.
Page.
Why, this passes! Master Ford, you are not
to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned.
Eva.
Why, this is lunatics: this is mad as a mad
dog.
Shal.
Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed.
Enter Mrs. Ford.
Ford.
So say I too, sir.—Come hither, mistress
Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest
wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to
her husband!—I suspect without cause, mistress, do I?
Mrs. Ford.
Heaven be my witness, you do, if you
suspect me in any dishonesty.
Ford.
Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.—Come
forth, sirrah.
[Pulls the Clothes out of the Basket.
Page.
This passes!
Mrs. Ford.
Are you not ashamed? let the clothes
alone.
Ford.
I shall find you anon.
-- 250 --
Eva.
'Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your
wife's clothes? Come away.
Ford.
Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford.
Why, man, why,—
Ford.
Master Page, as I am a man, there was one
conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket:
why may not he be there again? In my house I am
sure he is: my intelligence is true; my jealousy is
reasonable.—Pluck me out all the linen.
Mrs. Ford.
If you find a man there, he shall die a
flea's death.
Page.
Here's no man.
Shal.
By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford;
this wrongs you.
Eva.
Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow
the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.
Ford.
Well, he's not here I seek for.
Page.
No, nor no where else, but in your brain.
Ford.
Help to search my house this one time: if I
find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity,
let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of
me, “As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut
for his wife's leman8 note.” Satisfy me once more; once
more search with me.
Mrs. Ford.
What hoa! mistress Page! come you,
and the old woman, down; my husband will come into
the chamber.
Ford.
Old woman! What old woman's that?
Mrs. Ford.
Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.
Ford.
A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean!
Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of
errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not
know what's brought to pass under the profession of
fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by
-- 251 --
the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our
element: we know nothing.—Come down, you witch,
you hag you; come down I say.
Mrs. Ford.
Nay, good, sweet husband.—Good gentlemen,
let him not strike the old woman9 note.
Enter Falstaff in Women's Clothes, led by Mrs. Page.
Mrs. Page.
Come, mother Prat; come, give me your
hand.
Ford.
I'll prat her.—Out of my door, you witch!
[beats him] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you
ronyon10 note! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you.
[Exit Falstaff.
Mrs. Page.
Are you not ashamed? I think, you
have killed the poor woman.
Mrs. Ford.
Nay, he will do it.—'Tis a goodly credit
for you.
Ford.
Hang her, witch!
Eva.
By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch
indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I
spy a great peard under her muffler.
Ford.
Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you,
follow: see but the issue of my jealousy. If I cry out
thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again.
Page.
Let's obey his humour a little farther. Come,
gentlemen.
[Exeunt Ford, Page, Shallow, and Evans.
Mrs. Page.
Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.
Mrs. Ford.
Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he
beat him most unpitifully, methought.
Mrs. Page.
I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hung
o'er the altar: it hath done meritorious service.
Mrs. Ford.
What think you? May we, with the
-- 252 --
warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience,
pursue him with any farther revenge?
Mrs. Page.
The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared
out of him: if the devil have him not in fee simple,
with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the
way of waste, attempt us again.
Mrs. Ford.
Shall we tell our husbands how we have
served him?
Mrs. Page.
Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape
the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can
find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight
shall be any farther afflicted, we two will still be the
ministers.
Mrs. Ford.
I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly
shamed, and, methinks, there would be no period to
the jest. Should he not be publicly shamed?
Mrs. Page.
Come, to the forge with it, then shape
it: I would not have things cool.
[Exeunt.
SCENE III.
A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Host and Bardolph.
Bard.
Sir, the Germans desire1 note to have three of your
horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court,
and they are going to meet him.
Host.
What duke should that be, comes so secretly?
I hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with
the gentlemen; they speak English?
Bard.
Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.
-- 253 --
Host.
They shall have my horses, but I'll make
them pay; I'll sauce them: they have had my houses a
week at command; I have turned away my other
guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them. Come.
[Exeunt.
SCENE IV.
A Room in Ford's House.
Enter Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Sir Hugh Evans.
Eva.
'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as
ever I did look upon.
Page.
And did he send you both these letters at an
instant?
Mrs. Page.
Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford.
Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt;
I rather will suspect the sun with cold2 note 11Q0087,
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand,
In him that was of late a heretic,
As firm as faith.
Page.
'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as extreme in submission,
As in offence;
But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
Ford.
There is no better way than that they spoke of.
-- 254 --
Page.
How? to send him word they'll meet him in
the park at midnight? fie, fie! he'll never come.
Eva.
You say, he has been thrown into the rivers,
and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: methinks,
there should be terrors in him, that he should
not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have
no desires.
Page.
So think I too.
Mrs. Ford.
Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,
And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Mrs. Page.
There is an old tale goes, that Herne the hunter,
Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle3 note;
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner.
You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know,
The superstitious idle-headed eld
Received, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.
Page.
Why, yet there want not many, that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak.
But what of this?
Mrs. Ford.
Marry, this is our device;
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguis'd like Herne, with huge horns on his head4 note.
Page.
Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
And in this shape: when you have brought him thither,
-- 255 --
What shall be done with him? what is your plot?
Mrs. Page.
That likewise have we thought upon, and thus.
Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes5 note, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffused song6 note note: upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly:
Then, let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight7 note;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape profane.
Mrs. Ford.
And till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,
And burn him with their tapers.
Mrs. Page.
The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Ford.
The children must
Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Eva.
I will teach the children their behaviours; and
I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight
with my taber.
Ford.
That will be excellent. I'll go buy them
vizards.
-- 256 --
Mrs. Page.
My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,
Finely attired in a robe of white.
Page.
That silk will I go buy;—[Aside.] and in that time
Shall master Slender steal my Nan away,
And marry her at Eton. [To them.] Go, send to Falstaff straight.
Ford.
Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook;
He'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come.
Mrs. Page.
Fear not you that. Go, get us properties,
And tricking for our fairies.
Eva.
Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures, and
fery honest knaveries.
[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans.
Mrs. Page.
Go, mistress Ford,
Send Quickly to sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit Mrs. Ford.
I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.
[Exit.
SCENE V.
A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Host and Simple.
Host.
What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thickskin?
speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.
-- 257 --
Sim.
Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff
from master Slender.
Host.
There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his
standing-bed, and truckle-bed: 'tis painted about with
the story of the prodigal, fresh and new. Go, knock
and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto
thee: knock, I say.
Sim.
There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up
into his chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she
come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.
Host.
Ha! a fat woman? the knight may be robbed:
I'll call.—Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from
thy lungs military; art thou there? it is thine host,
thine Ephesian, calls.
Fal. [above.]
How now, mine host!
Host.
Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming
down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let
her descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy?
fie!
Enter Falstaff.
Fal.
There was, mine host, an old fat woman even
now with me, but she's gone.
Sim.
Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of
Brentford?
Fal.
Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what would
you with her?
Sim.
My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her,
seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether
one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the
chain, or no.
Fal.
I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim.
And what says she, I pray, sir?
Fal.
Marry, she says, that the very same man, that
beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it.
Sim.
I would, I could have spoken with the woman
-- 258 --
herself: I had other things to have spoken with her
too, from him.
Fal.
What are they? let us know.
Host.
Ay, come; quick.
Sim.
I may not conceal them, sir?
Host.
Conceal them, or thou diest. 11Q0088
Sim.
Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress
Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune
to have her, or no.
Fal.
'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Sim.
What, sir?
Fal.
To have her,—or no. Go; say, the woman told
me so.
Sim.
May I be bold to say so, sir?
Fal.
Ay, sir, tike, who more bold8 note?
Sim.
I thank your worship. I shall make my master
glad with these tidings.
[Exit Simple.
Host.
Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir John.
Was there a wise woman with thee?
Fal.
Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath
taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my
life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for
my learning.
Enter Bardolph.
Bard.
Out, alas, sir! cozenage; mere cozenage!
Host.
Where be my horses? speak well of them,
varletto.
Bard.
Run away with the cozeners; 11Q0089 for so soon as I
came beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind one
of them in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away,
like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses9 note.
-- 259 --
Host.
They are gone but to meet the duke, villain.
Do not say, they be fled: Germans are honest men.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans.
Eva.
Where is mine host?
Host.
What is the matter, sir?
Eva.
Have a care of your entertainments: there is a
friend of mine come to town tells me, there is three
couzin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings,
of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money.
I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise,
and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs, and 'tis not convenient
you should be cozened. Fare you well.
[Exit.
Enter Doctor Caius.
Caius.
Vere is mine Host de Jarretière?
Host.
Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful
dilemma.
Caius.
I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a me,
dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany:
by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is
know to come. I tell you for good vill: adieu.
[Exit.
Host.
Hue and cry, villain! go.—Assist me, knight;
I am undone.—Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am
undone!
[Exeunt Host and Bardolph.
Fal.
I would all the world might be cozened, for I
have been cozened, and beaten too. If it should come
to the ear of the court how I have been transformed,
and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled,
they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop,
and liquor fishermen's boots with me: I warrant, they
would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-
-- 260 --
fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore
myself at primero1 note. Well, if my wind were but
long enough to say my prayers2 note, I would repent.—
Enter Mistress Quickly.
Now, whence come you?
Quick.
From the two parties, forsooth.
Fal.
The devil take one party, and his dam the other,
and so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered
more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy
of man's disposition is able to bear.
Quick.
And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant;
speciously one of them: mistress Ford, good heart, is
beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot
about her.
Fal.
What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I
was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow;
and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of
Brentford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my
counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd
me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the
common stocks, for a witch.
Quick.
Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber;
you shall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your
content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good
hearts! what ado here is to bring you together. Sure,
one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so
crossed.
Fal.
Come up into my chamber.
[Exeunt.
-- 261 --
SCENE VI.
Another Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Fenton and Host.
Host.
Master Fenton, talk not to me: my mind is
heavy; I will give over all.
Fent.
Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,
And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee
A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.
Host.
I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at
the least, keep your counsel.
Fent.
From time to time I have acquainted you
With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;
Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection
(So far forth as herself might be her chooser)
Even to my wish. I have a letter from her
Of such contents as you will wonder at;
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,
That neither, singly, can be manifested,
Without the show of both;—wherein fat Falstaff3 note
Hath a great scene: the image of the jest
[Showing the Letter.
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine Host:
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented.
Now, sir,
-- 262 --
Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for Dr. Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor.—Now, thus it rests:
Her father means she shall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him:—her mother hath intended,
The better to denote her to the doctor4 note,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded)
That quaint in green she shall be loose enrob'd,
With ribands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and on that token
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host.
Which means she to deceive? father or mother?
Fent.
Both, my good host, to go along with me:
And here it rests,—that you'll procure the vicar
To stay for me at church 'twixt twelve and one,
And in the lawful name of marrying,
To give our hearts united ceremony.
Host.
Well, husband your device: I'll to the vicar.
Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
Fent.
So shall I evermore be bound to thee;
Besides, I'll make a present recompense.
[Exeunt.
-- 263 --
J. Payne Collier [1842–1844], The works of William Shakespeare. The text formed from an entirely new collation of the old editions: with the various readings, notes, a life of the poet, and a history of the Early English stage. By J. Payne Collier, Esq. F.S.A. In eight volumes (Whittaker & Co. [etc.], London) [word count] [S10101].
