SCENE IV.
Enter Osrick.
Osr.
Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark.
Ham.
I humbly thank you, Sir. Dost know this water-fly?
Hor.
No, my good lord.
Ham.
Thy state is the more gracious; for 'tis a vice to know
him: he hath much land, and fertile; let a beast be lord of beasts,
and his crib shall stand at the King's messe; 'tis a chough; but
as I say, spacious in the possession of dirt.
Osr.
Sweet lord, if your a notelordship were at leisure, I should impart
a thing to you from his majesty.
Ham.
I will receive it with all diligence of spirit; put your
bonnet to his right use, 'tis for the head.
Osr.
I thank your lordship, 'tis very hot.
Ham.
No, believe me, 'tis very cold, the wind is northerly.
Osr.
It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed.
Ham.
Methinks it is very sultry, and hot for my complexion.
Osr.
Exceedingly, my lord, it is very sultry, as 'twere, I cannot
tell how:—My lord, his majesty bid me signifie to you, that
he has laid a great wager on your head: Sir, this is the matter—
Ham.
I beseech you remember—
Osr.
Nay in good faith, for mine ease in good faith: Sir, you
are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is at his weapon.
-- 463 --
Ham.
What's his weapon?
Osr.
Rapier and dagger.
Ham.
That's two of his weapons; but well.
Osr.
The King, Sir, has wag'd with him six Barbary horses,
against the which he impon'd, as I take it, six French rapiers and
poniards, with their assigns, as girdle, hangers, or so: three of
the carriages in faith are very dear to fancy, very responsive to
the hilts, most delicate carriages, and of very liberal conceit.
Ham.
What call you the carriages?
Osr.
The carriages, Sir, are the hangers.
Ham.
The phrase would be more germane to the matter, if we
could carry cannon by our sides; I would it might be hangers
'till then. But on; six Barbary horses, against six French swords,
their assigns, and three liberal-conceited carriages, that's the French
bett against the Danish; why is this impon'd, as you call it?
Osr.
The King, Sir, hath laid, that in a dozen passes between
you and him, he shall not exceed you three hits; he hath laid
on twelve for nine, and it would come to immediate tryal, if your
lordship would vouchsafe the answer.
Ham.
How if I answer no?
Osr.
I mean, my lord, the opposition of your person in tryal.
Ham.
Sir, I will walk here in the hall; if it please his majesty,
'tis the breathing time of day with me; let the foils be brought, the
gentleman willing, and the King hold his purpose; I will win for him
if I can: if not, I'll gain nothing but my shame, and the odd hits.
Osr.
Shall I deliver you so?
Ham.
To this effect, Sir, after what flourish your nature will.
Osr.
I commend my duty to your lordship.
[Exit.
Ham.
Yours, yours; he does well to commend it himself,
there are no tongues else for's turn.
Hor.
This lapwing runs away with the shell on his head.
Ham.
He did so with his dug before he suck'd it: thus has he
(and many more of the same breed that I know the drossy age
-- 464 --
dotes on) only got the tune of the time, and outward habit of encounter,
a kind of yesty collection, which carries them through
and through the most fond and winnowed opinions; and do but
blow them to their tryals, the bubbles are out.
Enter a Lord.
Lord.
My lord, his majesty commended him to you by young
Osrick, who brings back to him, that you attend him in the hall;
he sends to know if your pleasure hold to play with Laertes, or
that you will take longer time?
Ham.
I am constant to my purposes, they follow the King's
pleasure; if his fitness speaks, mine is ready, now or whensoever,
provided I be so able as now.
Lord.
The King and Queen and all are coming down.
Ham.
In happy time.
Lord.
The Queen desires you to use some gentle entertainment
to Laertes, before you fall to play.
Ham.
She well instructs me.
Hor.
You will lose this wager, my lord.
Ham.
I do not think so; since he went into France, I have
been in continual practice; I shall win at the odds. But thou
wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart—but it is
no matter.
Hor.
Nay, good my lord.
Ham.
It is but foolery; but it is such a kind of game-giving as
would perhaps trouble a woman.
Hor.
If your mind dislike any thing, obey it. I will forestal
their repair hither, and say you are not fit.
Ham.
Not a whit, we defy augury; there's special providence in
the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to
come, it will be now: if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness
is all. Since no man has ought of what he leaves, what
is't to leave betimes?
-- 465 --
George Sewell [1723–5], The works of Shakespear in six [seven] volumes. Collated and Corrected by the former Editions, By Mr. Pope ([Vol. 7] Printed by J. Darby, for A. Bettesworth [and] F. Fayram [etc.], London) [word count] [S11101].