Ham.
They're coming to the play; I must be idle.
Get you a place.

King.
How fares our cousin Hamlet?

Ham.

Excellent i'faith, of the camelion's dish: I eat the air, promise-cramm'd: you cannot feed capons so.

King.

I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet, these words are not mine.

Ham.

No, nor mine now, my lord. You plaid once i'th' university, you say?

Pol.

That I did, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

Ham.

And what did you enact?

Pol.

I did enact Julius Cæsar, I was kill'd i'th' capitol: Brutus kill'd me.

Ham.

It was a brute part of him, to kill so capital a calf there. Be the players ready?

Ros.

Ay, my lord, they stay upon your patience.

Queen.

Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

Ham.

No, good mother, here's mettle more attractive.

Pol.

Oh ho, do you mark that?

Ham.

Lady, shall I lye in your lap?

Oph.

No, my lord.

Ham.

Do you think I meant country matters?

Oph.

I think nothing, my lord.

Ham.

That's a fair thought to lye between a maid's legs.

Oph.

What is, my lord?

Ham.

Nothing.

Oph.

You are merry, my lord.

Ham.

Who, I?

Oph.

Ay, my lord.

Ham.

Oh God, your only jig-maker; what should a man do, but be merry? For look you how chearfully my mother looks, and my father dy'd within these two hours.

Oph.

Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.

Ham.

So long? nay then let the devil wear black, for I'll have a suit of sables. Oh heav'ns! dye two months ago, and not forgotten yet! then there's hope, a great man's memory may out-live his life half a year: but by'r-lady he must build churches then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse; whose epitaph is For oh, for oh, the hobby-horse is forgot.