SCENE IV.
A Street in London.
Enter Sir John Falstaff, with his Page bearing his sword and buckler.
Fal.
Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water?
Page.
He said, Sir, the water itself was a good h notehealthy
water. But for the party that own'd it, he might have more
diseases than he knew for.
Fal.
Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me. The brain
of this foolish-compounded-clay, Man, is not able to invent any
thing that tends to laughter, more than I invent, or is invented
on me. I am not only witty in my self, but the cause that wit
is in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a Sow, that
hath ovewhelmed all her litter, but one. If the Prince put thee
into my service for any other reason than to set me off, why
then I have no judgment. Thou whorson mandrake, thou art
fitter to be worn in my cap, than to wait at my heels. I was
never mann'd with an agot 'till now: but I will set you neither
in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back
again to your master, for a jewel. The Juvenil, the Prince your
master! whose chin is not yet fledg'd; I will sooner have a beard
grow in the palm of my hand, than he shall get one on his cheek:
yet he will not stick to say, his face is a face-royal. Heav'n may
finish it when it will, it is not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it
still as a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of
it; and yet he will be crowing, as if he had writ man ever since
-- 299 --
his father was a batchelor. He may keep his own grace, but he
is almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said Mr. Dombledon,
about the satten for my short cloak and slops?
Page.
He said, Sir, you should procure him better assurance
than Bardolph: he would not take his bond and yours, he lik'd
not the security.
Fal.
Let him be damn'd like the glutton, may his tongue
be hotter, a whorson Achitophel, a rascally-yea-forsooth-knave,
to bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon security? the
whorson-smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and
bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is thorough with
them in honest taking up, then they must stand upon security:
I had as lief they would put rats-bane in my mouth, as offer to
stop it with security. I looked he should have sent me two and
twenty yards of satten, as I am a true knight, and he sends me
security. Well, he may sleep in security, for he hath the horn
of abundance. And the lightness of his wife shines through it,
and yet cannot he see, though he have his own lanthorn to light
him. Where's Bardolph?
Page.
He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.
Fal.
I bought him in Pauls, and he'll buy me a horse in
Smithfield. If I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were mann'd,
hors'd, and wiv'd.
George Sewell [1723–5], The works of Shakespear in six [seven] volumes. Collated and Corrected by the former Editions, By Mr. Pope ([Vol. 7] Printed by J. Darby, for A. Bettesworth [and] F. Fayram [etc.], London) [word count] [S11101].
