Par.

Save you, fair Queen.

Hel.

And you, monarch.

Par.

No.

Hel.

And no.

Par.

Are you meditating on virginity?

Hel.

Ay: you have some stain of soldier in you; let me ask you a question. Man is enemy to virginity, how may we barricado it against him?

Par.

Keep him out.

Hel.

But he assails; and our virginity, though valiant, in the defence yet is weak: unfold to us some warlike resistance.

Par.

There is none: man setting down before you, will undermine you and blow you up.

Hel.

Bless our poor virginity from underminers and blowers up. Is there no military policy how virgins might blow up men?

Par.

Virginity being blown down, man will quicklier be blown up: marry, in blowing him down again, with the breach your selves made, you lose your city. It is not politick in the commonwealth of nature, to preserve virginity. Loss of virginity is rational encrease, and there was never virgin got, 'till virginity was first lost. That you were made of is metal to make virgins. Virginity, by being once lost, may be ten times found: by being ever kept, it is ever lost; 'tis too cold a companion; away with't.

Hel.

I will stand for't a little, though therefore I die a virgin.

Par.

There's little can be said in't; 'tis against the rule of nature. To speak on the part of virginity, is to accuse your mother; which is most infallible disobedience. &plquo;He that hangs himself is a virgin: virginity murthers it self, and should be buried in high-ways out of all sanctified limit, as a desperate offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites; much like a cheese, consumes it self to the very paring, and so dies with feeding its own stomach. Besides, virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of self-love, which is the most prohibited sin in the canon. Keep it not, you cannot chuse but lose by't. Out with't; within ten years it will make it self two, which is a goodly increase, and the principal it self not much the worse. Away with't.

Hel.

How might one do, Sir, to lose it to her own liking?

Par.

Let me see. Marry ill, to like him that ne'er it likes.

'Tis a commodity will lose the gloss with lying. The longer kept, the less worth: off with't while 'tis vendible. Answer the time of request. Virginity, like an old courtier, wears her cap out of fashion, richly suted, but unsutable, just like the brooch and the tooth-pick, which we wear not now: your date is better in your pye and your porridge, than in your cheek; and your virginity, your old virginity, is like one of our French wither'd pears; it looks ill, it eats drily; marry, 'tis a wither'd pear: it was formerly better, marry, yet 'tis a wither'd pear. Will you any thing with it?

Hel.
Not my virginity yet.
There shall your master have a thousand loves,
^{a note}A mother, and a mistress, and a friend,
A phœnix, captain, and an enemy,
A guide, a goddess, and a soveraign,
A counsellor, a traitress, and a dear;
His humblest ambition, proud humility,
His jarring concord; and his discord dulcet,
His faith, his sweet disaster; with a world
Of pretty fond adoptious christendoms
That blinking Cupid gossips. Now shall he—
I know not what he shall—God send him well—
The court's a learning place—and he is one—

Par.
What one, i'faith?

Hel.
That I wish well—'tis pity—

Par.
What's pity?

Hel.
That wishing well had not a body in't,
Which might be felt, that we the poorer born,
Whose baser stars do shut us up in wishes,
Might with effects of them follow our friends,
And shew what we alone must think, which never
Returns us thanks.

Enter Page.

Page.
Monsieur Parolles,
My lord calls for you.

Par.

Little Helen farewel, if I can remember thee, I will think of thee at court.

Hel.

Monsieur Parolles, you were born under a charitable star.

Par.

Under Mars, I.

Hel.

I especially think, under Mars.

Par.

Why under Mars?

Hel.

The ^{b note}wars have so kept you under, that you must needs be born under Mars.

Par.

When he was predominant.

Hel.

When he was retrograde, I think rather.

Par.

Why think you so?

Hel.

You go so much backward when you fight.

Par.

That's for advantage.

Hel.

So is running away, when fear proposes safety: but the composition that your valour and fear makes in you, is a virtue of a good wing, and I like the wear well.

Par.

I am so full of business, I cannot answer thee acutely: I will return perfect courtier, in the which my ^{c note}instruction shall serve to naturalize thee, so thou wilt be capable of courtiers counsel, and understand what advice shall thrust upon thee; else thou diest in thine unthankfulness, and thine ignorance makes thee away; farewel. When thou hast leisure, say thy prayers; when thou hast none, remember thy friends; get thee a good husband, and use him as he uses thee: so farewel.

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