Now, Signior Gremio, came you from the church?

Gre.
As willingly as e'er I came from school.

Tra.
And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?

Gre.
A bridegroom say you? 'tis a groom indeed,
A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.

Tra.
Curster than she? why 'tis impossible.

Gre.
Why he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend.

Tra.
Why she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam.

Gre.
Tut she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him:
I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio, when the priest
Should ask if Katharine should be his wife?
Ay, by gogs-woons, quoth he; and swore so loud,
That all amaz'd the priest let fall the book;
And as he stoop'd again to take it up,
This mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff,
That down fell priest and book, and book and priest.
Now take them up, quoth he, if any list.

Tra.
What said the wench, when he rose up again?

Gre.
Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp'd and swore,
As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
But after many ceremonies done,
He calls for wine: a health, quoth he; as if
H'ad been aboard carowzing to his mates
After a storm; quaft off the muscadel,
And threw the sops all in the sexton's face;
Having no other cause, but that his beard
Grew thin and hungerly, and seem'd to ask
His sops as he was drinking. This done, he took
The bride about the neck, and kist her lips.

With such a clamorous smack, that at the parting
All the church eccho'd; and I seeing this,
Came thence for very shame; and after me
I know the rout is coming:
Such a mad marriage never was before.
Hark, hark, I hear the minstrels play. [Musick plays.

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