Pedro.

What secret hath held you here, that you follow'd not to Leonato's house?

Bene.

I would your Grace would constrain me to tell.

Pedro.

I charge thee on thy allegiance.

Bene.

You hear, Count Claudio, I cannot be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance, he is in love; with whom? now that is your Grace's part: mark how short his answer is, with Hero, Leonato's short daughter.

Claud.

If this were so, so were it uttered.

Bene.

Like the old tale, my lord, it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but indeed, God forbid it should be so.

Claud.

If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise.

Pedro.

Amen, if you love her, for the Lady is very well worthy.

Claud.

You speak this to fetch me in, my Lord.

Pedro.

By my troth I speak my thought.

Claud.

And in faith, my Lord, I spoke mine.

Bene.

And by my two faiths and troths, my Lord, I speak mine.

Claud.

That I love her, I feel.

Pedro.

That she is worthy I know.

Bene.

That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the stake.

Pedro.

Thou wast ever an obstinate heretick in the despight of beauty.

Claud.

And never could maintain his part, but in the force of his will.

Bene.

That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheate winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me; because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do my self the right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a batchelor.

Pedro.

I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

Bene.

With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid.

Pedro.

Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument.

Bene.

If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me, and he that hits me, let him be clapt on the shoulder, and call'd Adam.

Pedro.

Well, as time shall try; in time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.

Bene.

The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's-horns, and set them in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write, Here is good horse to hire, let them signifie under my sign, Here you may see Benedick the marry'd man.

Claud.

If this should ever happen, thou would'st be horn-mad.

Pedro.

Nay, if Cupid hath not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.

Bene.

I look for an earthquake too then.

Pedro.

Well you will temporize with the hours; in the mean

time, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's, commend me to him, and tell him I will not fail him at supper, for indeed he hath made great preparation.

Bene.

I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage, and so I commit you.

Claud.

To the tuition of God. From my house, if I had it.

Pedro.

The sixth of July, your loving friend, Benedick.

Bene.

Nay, mock not, mock not; the body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience, and so I leave you.