E. Ant.

Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

E. Dro.

Mistress, respice finem, respect your end, or rather prophesie like the parrot, beware the rope's-end.

E. Ant.

Wilt thou still talk?

Cur.
How say you now? is not your husband mad?

Adr.
His incivility confirms no less.
Good doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer,
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.

Luc.
Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!

Cur.
Mark how he trembles in his ecstasie!

Pinch.
Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.

E. Ant.
There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

Pinch.
I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man,
To yield possession to my holy prayers,
And to thy state of darkness hie thee strait,
I conjure thee by all the saints in heav'n.

E. Ant.
Peace, doating wizard, peace, I am not mad.

Adr.
Oh that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!

E. Ant.
You minion you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,
And I deny'd to enter in my house?

Adr.
Oh husband, God doth know you din'd at home,
Where would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame.

E. Ant.
Din'd at home? thou villain, what say'st thou?

E. Dro.
Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.

E. Ant.
Were not my doors lock'd up, and I shut out?

E. Dro.
Perdie, your doors were lock'd, and you shut out.

E. Ant.
And did not she her self revile me there?

E. Dro.
Sans fable, she her self revil'd you there.

E. Ant.
Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?

E. Dro.
Certes she did, the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.

E. Ant.
And did not I in rage depart from thence?

E. Dro.
In verity you did, my bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of your rage.

Adr.
Is't good to sooth him in these contraries?

Pinch.
It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein,
And yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.

E. Ant.
Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.

Adr.
Alas, I sent you mony to redeem you,
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

E. Dro.
Mony by me? heart and good-will you might,
But surely master not a rag of mony.

E. Ant.
Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?

Adr.
He came to me, and I deliver'd it.

Luc.
And I am witness with her that she did.

E. Dro.
God and the rope-maker do bear me witness,
That I was sent for nothing but a rope.

Pinch.
Mistress, both man and master are possest,
I know it by their pale and deadly looks;
They must be bound and laid in some dark room.

E. Ant.
Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day,
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

Adr.
I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

E. Dro.
And gentle master I receiv'd no gold,
But I confess, Sir, that we were lock'd out.

Adr.
Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

E. Ant.
Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all,
And art confederate with a damned pack,

To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
But with these nails I'll pluck out those false eyes,
That would behold in me this shameful sport. Enter three or four, and offer to bind him: he strives.

Adr.
Oh bind him, bind him, let him not come near me.

Pinch.
More company, the fiend is strong within him.

Luc.
Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!

E. Ant.
What, will you murther me? thou jailor thou,
I am thy prisoner, wilt thou suffer them
To make a rescue?

Offi.
Masters; let him go:
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

Pinch.
Go bind this man, for he is frantick too.

Adr.
What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

Offi.
He is my prisoner, if I let him go
The debt he owes will be requir'd of me.

Adr.
I will discharge thee, ere I go from thee;
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, [They bind Ant. and Dro.
And knowing how the debt grows I will pay it.
Good master doctor see him safe convey'd
Home to my house. Oh most unhappy day!

E. Ant.
Oh most unhappy strumpet!

E. Dro.
Master, I'm here enter'd in bond for you.

E. Ant.
Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?

E. Dro.
Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master, cry the devil.

Luc.
God help poor souls, how idly do they talk!

Adr.
Go bear him hence; sister, stay you with me.
Say now, whose suit is he arrested at? [Exeunt Pinch, Ant. and Dro.

Previous section

Next section