Elb.

Come, bring them away; if these be good people in a common-weal, that do nothing but use their abuses in common houses, I know no law; bring them away.

Ang.

How now Sir, what's your name? and what's the matter?

Elb.

If it please your honour, I am the poor Duke's constable, and my name is Elbow; I do lean upon justice, Sir, and do bring in here before your good honour, two notorious benefactors.

Ang.

Benefactors? well; what benefactors are they? are they not malefactors?

Elb.

If it please your honour, I know not well what they are; but precise villains they are, that I am sure of, and void of all profanation in the world, that good christians ought to have.

Escal.

This comes off well; here's a wise officer.

Ang.

Go to: what quality are you of? Elbow is your name? Why dost thou not speak, Elbow?

Clown.

He cannot, Sir; he's out at elbow.

Ang.

What are you, Sir?

Elb.

He, Sir? a tapster, Sir; parcel bawd; one that serves a bad woman; whose house, Sir, was, as they say, pluckt down in the suburbs; and now she professes a hot-house; which, I think, is a very ill house too.

Escal.

How know you that?

Elb.

My wife, Sir, whom I detest before heav'n and your honour.

Escal.

How! thy wife?

Elb.

Ay, Sir; whom I thank heav'n is an honest woman.

Escal.

Dost thou detest her therefore?

Elb.

I say, Sir, I will detest my self also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a bawd's house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house.

Escal.

How dost thou know that, constable?

Elb.

Marry Sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a woman cardinally given, might have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanness there.

Escal.

By the woman's means?

Elb.

Ay Sir, by mistress Over-don's means; but as she spit in his face, so she defy'd him.

Clown.

Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so.

Elb.

Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable man, prove it.

Escal.

Do you hear how he misplaces?

Clown.

Sir, she came in great with child; and longing (saving your honour's reverence) for stew'd prewns; we had but two in the house, which at that very instant time stood, as it were, in a fruit-dish, a dish of some three pence; (your honours have seen such dishes, they are not China dishes, but very good dishes.)

Escal.

Go to, go to; no matter for the dish, Sir.

Clown.

No indeed Sir, not of a pin; you are therein in the right: but to the point; as I say, this mistress Elbow, being as I say, with child, and being great belly'd, and longing, as I said, for prewns; and having no more in the dish, as I said; master Froth here, this very man having eaten the rest, as I said, and as I say paying for them very honestly; for, as you know, master Froth, I could not give you three pence again.

Froth.

No indeed.

Clown.

Very well; you being then, if you be remembred, cracking the stones of the foresaid prewns.

Froth.

Ay, so I did indeed.

Clown.

Why, very well; I telling you then, if you be remembred, that such a one, and such a one, were past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept good diet, as I told you.

Froth.

All this is true.

Clown.

Why, very well then.

Escal.

Come, you are a tedious fool; to the purpose: what was done to Elbow's wife, that he hath cause to complain of? come to what was done to her.

Clown.

Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet.

Escal.

No Sir, I mean it not.

Clown.

Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour's leave: and I beseech you, look into master Froth here, Sir, a man of fourscore pound a year; whose father dy'd at Hallowmas. Was't not at Hallowmas, master Froth?

Froth.

All-holland eve.

Clown.

Why very well; I hope here be truths. He, Sir, sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, Sir; 'twas in the bunch of grapes, where indeed you have a delight to sit, have you not?

Froth.

I have so, because it is an open room, and good for winter.

Clown.

Why, very well then; I hope here be truths.

Ang.
This will last out a night in Russia,
When nights are longest there. I'll take my leave,
And leave you to the hearing of the cause,
Hoping you'll find good cause to whip them all. [Exit.

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