Fal.

Mine host of the garter.

Host.

What says my bully rock? speak schollarly, and wisely.

Fal.

Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.

Host.

Discard, bully Hercules, cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.

Fal.

I sit at ten pounds a week.

Host.

Thou'rt an Emperor, Cæsar, Keisar and Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph, he will draw, he will tap; said I well, bully Hector?

Fal.

Do so, good mine host.

Host.

I have spoke, let him follow; let me see thee froth, and live: I am at a word; follow.

Fal.

Bardolph, follow him, a tapster is a good trade; an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd serving-man, a fresh tapster; go, adieu.

Bard.

It is a life that I have desir'd: I will thrive.

Pist.

O base Hungarian wight, wilt thou the spigot wield?

Nym.

He was gotten in drink, is not the humour conceited?

Fal.

I am glad I am so quit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open, his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.

Nym.

The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.

Pist.

Convey, the wise it call: steal? foh; a fico for the phrase.

Fal.

Well, Sirs, I am almost out at heels.

Pist.

Why then let kibes ensue.

Fal.

There is no remedy: I must conycatch, I must shift.

Pist.

Young ravens must have food.

Fal.

Which of you know Ford of this town?

Pist.

I ken the wight, he is of substance good.

Fal.

My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

Pist.

Two yards and more.

Fal.

No quips now, Pistol: indeed I am in the waste two yards about; but I am now about no waste, I am about thrift.

Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her familiar stile, and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be english'd right, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.

Pist.

He hath study'd her ^{c note}well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English.

Nym.

The anchor is deep; will that humour pass?

Fal.

Now the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse: she hath a legion of angels.

Pist.

As many devils entertain; and to her, boy, say I.

Nym.

The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.

Fal.

I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious † ^note Illiads; sometimes the beam of her view guided my foot, sometimes my portly belly.

Pist.

Then did the sun on dung-hill shine.

Nym.

I thank thee for that humour.

Fal.

O she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here's another letter to her; she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be Exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West-Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

Pist.
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become;
And by my side wear steel? then Lucifer take all.

Nym.

I will run no base humour: here take the humour-letter, I will keep the haviour of reputation.

Fal.
Hold, Sirrah, bear you these letters rightly,

Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
Rogues, hence avaunt, vanish like hail-stones, go,
Trudge, plod away o'th' hoof, seek shelter, pack:
Falstaff will learn the honour of the age,
French thrift, you rogues, my self and skirted Page. [Exit Falstaff and Boy.

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