Launce.
Speed.
Launce, by mine honesty welcome to † noteMilan.
Laun.
Forswear not thy self, sweet youth; for I am not welcome:
I reckon this always, that a man is never undone 'till he
be hang'd, nor never welcome to a place 'till some certain shot
be paid, and the hostess say welcome.
Speed.
Come on, you mad-cap; I'll to the ale-house with
you presently, where, for one shot of five-pence, thou shalt have
five thousand welcomes. But Sirrah, how did thy master part
with Madam Julia?
Laun.
Marry, after they clos'd in earnest, they parted very
fairly in jest.
Speed.
But shall she marry him?
Laun.
No.
Speed.
How then? shall he marry her?
Laun.
No, neither.
Speed.
What, are they broken?
Laun.
No, they are both as whole as a fish.
Speed.
Why then how stands the matter with them?
Laun.
Marry thus; when it stands well with him, it stands
well with her.* note
-- 184 --
Speed.
But tell me true, will't be a match?
Laun.
Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say no, it
will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will.
Speed.
The conclusion is then, that it will.
Laun.
Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but by
a parable.
Speed.
'Tis well that I get it so: but Launce, how say'st thou
that my master is become a notable lover?
Laun.
I never knew him otherwise.
Speed.
Than how?
Laun.
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
Speed.
Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak'st me.
Laun.
Why fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
Speed.
I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
Laun.
Why, I tell thee, I care not tho' he burn himself in
love: If thou wilt go with me to the alehouse, so; if not, thou
art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
Speed.
Why?
Laun.
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go
to the ale-house with a Christian: wilt thou go?
Speed.
At thy service.
[Exeunt.
George Sewell [1723–5], The works of Shakespear in six [seven] volumes. Collated and Corrected by the former Editions, By Mr. Pope ([Vol. 7] Printed by J. Darby, for A. Bettesworth [and] F. Fayram [etc.], London) [word count] [S11101].