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Ward, Artemus, 1834-1867 [1862], Artemus Ward, his book. With many comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf482T].
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ONE OF MR. WARD'S BUSINESS LETTERS. To the Editor of the——

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Sir—I'm movin along—slowly along—down
tords your place. I want you should rite me a
letter, sayin how is the show bizniss in your place.
My show at present consists of three moral Bares, a
Kangaroo (a amoozin little Raskal—t'would make
you larf yerself to deth to see the little cuss jump
up and squeal) wax figgers of G. Washington Gen.
Tayler John Bunyan Capt. Kidd and Dr. Webster
in the act of killin Dr. Parkman, besides several
miscellanyus moral wax statoots of celebrated piruts
& murderers, &c., ekalled by few & exceld by

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none. Now Mr. Editor, scratch orf a few lines
sayin how is the show bizniss down to your place.
I shall hav my hanbills dun at your offiss. Depend
upon it. I want you should git my hanbills up in
flamin stile. Also git up a tremenjus excitemunt
in yr. paper 'bowt my onparaleld Show. We must
fetch the public sumhow. We must wurk on their
feelins. Cum the moral on 'em strong. If it's a
temprance community tell 'em I sined the pledge fifteen
minits arter Ise born, but on the contery ef your
peple take their tods, say Mister Ward is as Jenial
a feller as we ever met, full of conwiviality, & the
life an sole of the Soshul Bored. Take, don't you?
If you say anythin abowt my show say my snaiks is
as harmliss as the new born Babe. What a interestin
study it is to see a zewological animil like a
snaik under perfeck subjecshun! My kangaroo is
the most larfable little cuss I ever saw. All for 15
cents. I am anxyus to skewer your infloounce. I
repeet in regard to them hanbills that I shall git'
em struck orf up to your printin office. My
perlitercal sentiments agree with yourn exackly. I

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know thay do, becawz I never saw a man whoos
didn't.

Respectively yures,
A. Ward. P. S.—You scratch my back & Ile scratch your
back.

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p482-031
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Ward, Artemus, 1834-1867 [1862], Artemus Ward, his book. With many comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf482T].
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