The Major ascends to the top of Congress house and
listens to see if he can hear the guns in South Carolina—
he converses with the president about the newspaper
slanders.

[figure description] Page 114.[end figure description]

Washington City, Feb. 1, 1833.
To the editor of the Portland Courier, in Mariners' Church
Building, second story, eastern end, Fore Street away down
east, in the State of Maine.

My Dear Friend.—This is nullification day, and
it's most night, and I aint dead yet, and hant been
shot at once to-day. I got up this morning as soon as
it was light, and went out and looked away towards
South Carolina, and listened as hard as I could to see
if I could hear the guns crackin and the cannons roarin.
But it was all still as a mouse. And I've been up top
the Congress house five or six times to-day, and listened
and listened, but all the firing I could hear was inside
the Congress house itself, where the members
were shooting their speeches at each other. I had my
company all ready this morning with their dinners in
their napsacks, to start as quick as we heard a single
gun. We shant go till we hear something from these
nullifiers, for the president says he aint agoing to begin
the scrape, but if the nullifiers begin it, then the hardest
must fend off.

Yesterday a friend handed me a couple of papers
printed at Hallowell away down pretty near to Augusta
in the state of Maine, called the American Advocate,
and I found something in 'em that made me as
mad as March hair. The first one mentioned that Capt.
Dow was chosen mayor of Portland, and then said, he
is the reputed author of the Jack Downing letters that
have been published in the Portland Courier. The
other paper that was printed two or three days

[figure description] Page 115.[end figure description]

afterwards, said Mr. Dow the mayor of Portland is not the
author of Jack Downing's letters; they are written by
Mr. Seba Smith, the Editor of the Portland Courier.
Now, Mr. Editor, my good old friend, is n't this too
bad? I have n't come acrost any thing that made me
feel so wamblecropt this good while. Jest as if Major
Jack Downing could n't write his own letters.

I've been to school, put it altogether, off and on,
more than six months, and though I say it myself, I
always used to be called the best scholar among the
boys in Downingville, and most always used to stand
at the head of my class. I'd been through Webster's
spelling-book before I was fifteen, and before I was
twenty I could cypher to the rule of three. And now
to have it said that I dont write my own letters, is too
bad. It's what I call a rascally shame. I was so boiling
over with it last night, that I could n't hold in; and
so I took the papers and went in and showed them to
the president. I always go to the president when I
have any difficulty, and when he has any he comes to
me; so we help one another along as well as we can.
When the president had read it, says he, Major Downing,
it's strange to see how this world is given to lying.
The public papers are beginning to slander you jest as
they always do me. I have n't written scarcely a public
document since I've been president, but what it's
been laid off to Mr. Van Buren, or Mr. McLane, or
Mr. Livingston, or Mr. Taney, or somebody or other.
And how to help this slanderous business I dont know.
But it's too provoking, Major, that's certain. Sometimes
I've a good mind to make Congress pass a law
that every editor who says I dont write my proclamations
and messages, or that you dont write your letters,
shall forfeit his press and types; and if that
dont stop him, that he shall be strung up by the
neck without judge or jury.

And now, Mr. Editor, I wish you would jest give
that Hallowell man a hint to mind his own p's and
q's in future, and look out for his neck. And as you

p378-131 [figure description] Page 116.[end figure description]

know very well that I do write my own letters, I
would thank you jest to tell the public so.