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Smith, Seba, 1792-1868 [1834], The select letters of Major Jack Downing [pseud] ('printed for the publisher', Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf378].
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LETTER XII.

A tug at the wheels of government described.

Portland, March 3, 1830.
To Cousin Ephraim Downing, stuck by the way.

You sent word to me in your letter t'other day, that
you had got to bare ground, and broke down one shu

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of the lumber box, and wanted me to get the wheels of
Government and come up after the poles. I tried to
get 'em, but they wouldn't let 'em go; and they said
'twould'nt be any use if I did; for I could'nt get more
than ten rods before the wheels would be trig'd. They
were expecting of 'em to be trig'd every day, they said;
for the Judges had sent a monstrous great trig to the Governor,
and told him if they went to start the wheels
forward any, he must clap it under; for they must'nt
go forward a bit more, and must roll the wheels back a
good ways, till they find the right road. Well, sure
enough, on Tuesday, when they was goin along a little
easy, and some on 'em threw the trig right under, and
it brought 'em up with a dreadful jolt.

And then, my stars, if the Sinneters didn't go at it
tie and tie, like smoke. The national republicans pulled
one way, and the democratic republicans 'tother,
with all their might, jest as you and I used to set down
and brace our feet against each other, and take hold of
a stick to see which could pull tother up. They pulled
and grinned all day, but nary side couldn't pull up tother.
The national republicans said they wouldn't stop
for that little trig, nor no notiou of it; and they pulled
the wheels forward as hard as they could. The democratic
republicans braced their feet tother way, and said
the wheels shouldn't move another inch forward; they
had got on to a wrong road, and the Judges had put that
trig there to keep 'em all from goin to destruction; and
they tried all day as hard as they could to roll the wheels
back to find the right road. They pulled like my little
tu year olds all day, but I couldn't see as they started
the wheels backwards or forwards a single hair. This
morning they hitched on and took another jest sich a
pull. The national republicans said they knew the road
as well as the Judges did, and they were goin right and
wouldn't touch to go back; the road was a good plain
smooth road, and there was'nt a mite of danger in goin
on. The democratic republicans said they could hear
some pretty heavy thundering along that road, and

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tney'd not go another step that way; but they stood tu
they want afraid of the thunder. The national republicans
said they'd heard thunder before now, and seen
dreadful black clouds all over the sky, and they'd seen
a fair afternoon and a bright rainbow after all that. So
they pulled and disputed, and disputed and pulled, till
most noon, and then they concluded to stop and breath
upon it till to-morrow, when I spose they will spit on
their hands to make 'em stick and begin as hard as ever.

I hope youl'll make haste and get the poles along;
if you cant get any wheels up there, you better tie up a
couple of bundles of 'em and swing 'em across the old
horse, saddle-bag fashion. You'll get well paid for it,
if you get 'em here in season.

Your cousin,
JACK DOWNING.
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Smith, Seba, 1792-1868 [1834], The select letters of Major Jack Downing [pseud] ('printed for the publisher', Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf378].
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