SCENE V.
Enter Falstaff.
Shal.
It is very just: look, here comes good Sir
John. Give me your good hand: give me your Worship's
good hand: trust me, you look well, and bear
your years very well. Welcome, good Sir John.
Fal.
I am glad to see you well, good master Robert
Shallow: Master Sure-card, as I think,—
Shal.
No, Sir John, it is my cousin Silence; in
Commission with me.
Fal.
Good master Silence, it well befits, you should
be of the peace.
Sil.
Your good Worship is welcome.
Fal.
Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen; have you
provided me here half a dozen of sufficient men?
Shal.
Marry, have we, Sir: will you sit?
Fal.
Let me see them, I beseech you.
Shal.
Where's the roll? where's the roll? where's
the roll? let me see, let me see, let me see: so, so,
so, so: yea, marry, Sir. Ralph Mouldy:—let them
appear as I call: let them do so, let them do so. Let
me see, where is Mouldy?
-- 259 --
Moul.
Here, if it please you.
Shal.
What think you, Sir John? a good limb'd
fellow: young, strong, and of good friends.
Fal.
Is thy name Mouldy?
Moul.
Yea, if it please you.
Fal.
'Tis the more time thou wert us'd.
Shal.
Ha, ha, ha, most excellent, i'faith. Things,
that are mouldy, lack use: very singular good. Well
said, Sir John, very well said.
Fal.
Prick him.
Moul.
I was prickt well enough before, if you could
have let me alone: my old dame will be undone now
for one to do her husbandry, and her drudgery; you
need not to have prickt me, there are other men fitter
to go out than I.
Fal.
Go to: peace, Mouldy, you shall go. Mouldy,
it is time you were spent.
Moul.
Spent?
Shal.
Peace, fellow, peace: stand aside: know you
where you are? for the other, Sir John.—Let me see:
Simon Shadow.
Fal.
Ay, marry, let me have him to sit under: he's
like to be a cold soldier.
Shal.
Where's Shadow?
Shad.
Here, Sir.
Fal.
Shadow, whose son art thou?
Shad.
My mother's son, Sir.
Fal.
Thy mother's son! like enough; and thy father's
shadow: so the son of the female is the shadow
of the male: it is often so, indeed, but not of the father's
substance.
Shal.
Do you like him, Sir John?
Fal.
Shadow will serve for summer; prick him;
for we have a number of shadows do fill up the muster-book.
Shal.
Thomas Wart.
Fal.
Where's he?
-- 260 --
Wart.
Here, Sir.
Fal.
Is thy name Wart?
Wart.
Yea, Sir.
Fal.
Thou art a very ragged wart.
Shal.
Shall I prick him down, Sir John?
Fal.
It were superfluous; for his apparel is built
upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon pins;
prick him no more.
Shal.
Ha, ha, ha, 1 noteyou can do it, Sir; you can do
it: I commend you well. Francis Feeble.
Feeble.
Here, Sir.
Fal.
What trade art thou, Feeble?
Feeble.
A woman's tailor, Sir.
Shal.
Shall I prick him, Sir?
Fal.
You may: but if he had been a man's tailor,
he would have prick'd you. Wilt thou make as many
holes in an enemy's battel, as thou hast done in a woman's
petticoat?
Feeble.
I will do my good will, Sir; you can have
no more.
Fal.
Well said, good woman's tailor; well said,
courageous Feeble: thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful
Dove, or most magnanimous mouse. Prick the
woman's tailor well, master Shallow, deep, master
Shallow.
Feeble.
I would, Wart might have gone, Sir.
Fal.
I would, thou wert a man's tailor, that thou
might'st mend him, and make him fit to go. I cannot
put him to be a private soldier, that is the leader
of so many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible
Feeble.
Feeble.
It shall suffice.
Fal.
I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is
the next?
Shal.
Peter Bull-calf of the Green.
Fal.
Yea, marry, let us see Bull-calf.
-- 261 --
Bul.
Here, Sir.
Fal.
Trust me, a likely fellow. Come, prick me
Bull-calf, till he roar again.
Bul.
Oh, good my lord captain,—
Fal.
What, dost thou roar before th'art prickt?
Bul.
Oh, Sir, I am a diseased man.
Fal.
What disease hast thou?
Bul.
A whorson Cold, Sir; a cough, Sir, which I
caught with ringing in the King's affairs, upon his
Coronation-day, Sir.
Fal.
Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown:
we will have away thy Cold, and I will take such order
that thy friends shall ring for thee. Is here all?
Shal.
There is two more called than your number,
you must have but four here, Sir; and so, I pray you,
go in with me to dinner.
Fal.
Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot
tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, in good troth,
master Shallow.
Shal.
O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay
all night in the wind-mill in Saint George's fields?
Fal.
No more of that, good master Shallow, no more
of that.
Shal.
Ha! it was a merry night. And is Jane
Night-work alive?
Fal.
She lives, master Shallow.
Shal.
She never could away with me.
Fal.
Never, never: she would always say, she could
not abide master Shallow.
Shal.
By the mass, I could anger her to the heart:
she was then a Bona-roba. Doth she hold her own
well?
Fal.
Old, old, master Shallow.
Shal.
Nay, she must be old, she cannot chuse but
be old; certain, she's old, and had Robin Night-work
by old Night-work, before I came to Clement's
Inn.
-- 262 --
Sil.
That's fifty-five years ago.
Shal.
Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen That,
that this knight and I have seen!—hah, Sir John,
said I well?
Fal.
We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master
Shallow.
Shal.
That we have, that we have, in faith, Sir John,
we have: our watch-word was, hem, boys.—Come,
let's to dinner; Oh, the days that we have seen! come,
come.
Bul.
Good master corporate Bardolph, stand my
friend, and here is four Harry ten shillings in French
Crowns for you: in very truth, Sir, I had as lief be
hang'd, Sir, as go; and yet for my own part, Sir,
I do not care, but rather because I am unwilling,
and for mine own part, have a desire to stay with
my friends; else, Sir, I did not care for mine own
part so much.
Bard.
Go to; stand aside.
Moul.
And good master corporal captain, for my
old Dame's-sake stand my friend: she hath no body
to do any thing about her when I am gone, and she's
old and cannot help her self: you shall have forty,
Sir.
Bard.
Go to; stand aside.
Feeble.
I care not, a man can die but once; we owe
God a death, I will never bear a base mind: if it be
my destiny, so: if it be not, so. No man is too good
to serve his Prince; and let it go which way it will,
he that dies this year is quit for the next.
Bard.
Well said, thou art a good fellow.
Feeble.
'Faith, I will bear no base mind.
Fal.
Come, Sir, which men shall I have?
Shal.
Four of which you please.
Bard.
Sir, a word with you:—I have three pound
to free Mouldy and Bull-calf.
Fal.
Go to: well.
-- 263 --
Shal.
Come, Sir John, which four will you have?
Fal.
Do you chuse for me.
Shal.
Marry then, Mouldy, Bull-calf, Feeble, and
Shadow.
Fal.
Mouldy, and Bull-calf:—for you, Mouldy,
stay at home till you are past service: and for your
part, Bull-calf, grow till you come unto it: I will
none of you.
Shal.
Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong,
they are your likeliest men, and I would have serv'd
with the best.
Fal.
Will you tell me, master Shallow, how to chuse
a man? care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature,
bulk and big semblance of a man? give me the spirit,
master Shallow. Here's Wart; you see what a ragged
appearance it is: he shall charge you and discharge you
with the motion of a pewterer's hammer; come off
and on, swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's
bucket. And this same half-fac'd fellow Shadow, give
me this man, he presents no mark to the enemy; the
fo-man may with as great aim level at the edge of a
pen-knife: and, for a retreat, how swiftly will this
Feeble, the woman's tailor, run off? O give me the
spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a
caliver into Wart's hand, Bardolph.
Bard.
Hold, Wart, traverse; thus, thus, thus.
Fal.
Come, manage me your caliver: so, very well,
go to, very good, exceeding good. O, give me always
a little, lean, old, chopt, bald shot. Well said, Wart,
thou art a good scab: hold, there is a tester for thee.
Shal.
He is not his craft-master, he doth not do it
right. I remember at Mile-End Green, when I lay at
Clement's Inn, I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's
Show; there was a little quiver fellow, and he would
manage you his piece thus; and he would about, and
about, and come you in, and come you in: rah, tah,
tah, would he say; bounce, would he say, and away
-- 264 --
again would he go, and again would he come: I shall
never see such a fellow.
Fal.
These fellows will do well. Master Shallow,
God keep you; farewel, master Silence. I will not use
many words with you, fare you well, gentlemen both.
I thank you, I must a dozen mile to night. Bardolph,
give the soldiers coats.
Shal.
Sir John, heaven bless you, and prosper your
affairs, and send us peace. As you return, visit my
house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed: peradventure,
I will with you to the Court.
Fal.
I would you would, master Shallow.
Shal.
Go to: I have spoke at a word. Fare you well.
[Exit.
Fal.
Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. On, Bardolph,
lead the men away. &wlquo;As I return, I will fetch
off these Justices: I do see the bottom of Justice
Shallow. How subject we old men are to this Vice
of lying! this same starv'd Justice hath done nothing
but prated to me of the wildness of his youth,
and the feats he hath done about Turnbal-street;
and every third word a lie, more duly paid to the
hearer than the Turk's tribute. I do remember him
at Clement's Inn, like a man made after supper of a
cheese-paring. When he was naked, he was for all
the world like a forked radish, with a head fantastically
carv'd upon it with a knife. He was so forlorn,
that his dimensions to any thick sight were
invincible.&wrquo; He was the very Genius of famine, yet
leacherous as a Monkey, and the whores call'd him
Mandrake: he came ever in the rere-ward of the fashion;
and sung those tunes to the 2 noteover-scutcht huswives
that he heard the carmen whistle, and sware they
were his Fancies, or his Good-nights. And now is this
Vice's dagger become a Squire, and talks as familiarly
of John of Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother
-- 265 --
to him: and I'll be sworn, he never saw him but once
in the Tilt-yard, and then he broke his head for
crouding among the Marshal's men. I saw it, and told
John of Gaunt he beat his own name; for you might
have truss'd him and all his apparel into an Eel-skin:
the case of a treble hoboy was a Mansion for him, a
Court; and now hath he land and beeves. Well, I
will be acquainted with him, if I return; and it shall go
hard but I will make him a 3 notephilosopher's two stones
to me. If the young Dace be a bait for the old Pike, I
see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him.
Let time shape, and there's an end.
[Exeunt.
Alexander Pope [1747], The works of Shakespear in eight volumes. The Genuine Text (collated with all the former Editions, and then corrected and emended) is here settled: Being restored from the Blunders of the first Editors, and the Interpolations of the two Last: with A Comment and Notes, Critical and Explanatory. By Mr. Pope and Mr. Warburton (Printed for J. and P. Knapton, [and] S. Birt [etc.], London) [word count] [S11301].