Hostess, make up to him.
-- 25 --
Fal.
How now? who's mare's dead? what's the matter?
Pha.
Sir John note, I arrest you at the suit of mistress Quickly.
Fal.
Away, varlets!—Draw, Bardolph: cut me off the
villain's head; throw the quean in the kennel.
[draw, and a Scuffle ensues.
Hos.
Throw me in the kennel? I'll throw thee there.
Wilt note thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue:—Murder!
murder!—O thou note hony-suckle villain! wilt thou kill
God's officers, and the king's? O thou note hony-seed rogue!
thou art a hony-seed; a man-queller, and a woman-queller.
Fal.
Keep them off, Bardolph.
Pha.
A rescue! a rescue!
Hos.
Good people, bring a rescue.—Thou note wo't, wo't note
thou? thou wo't, wo't thou? do, do, thou rogue; do,
thou hemp-seed.
Pag.
Away, you14Q0680 scullion! you rampallian! you fustillarian!
I'll tickle note your catastrophe.
[trying to take her off.
Enter the Chief Justice, attended.
Ch. J.
What is note the matter? keep the peace here, ho!
[Scuffle ceases.
Hos.
Good my lord, be good to me! I beseech you,
stand to me!
Ch. J.
How now, sir John? what, are you brawling here?
Doth this become your place, your time, and business?
You should have been well on your way to York.—
Stand from him, fellow; Wherefore hang'st thou on note him?
Hos.
O my most worshipful lord, an't please your
grace, I am a poor widow of East-cheap, and he is
arrested at my suit.
Ch. J.
For what sum?
Hos.
It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all,
-- 26 --
all I have note: he hath eaten me out of house and home;
he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of
his:—but I will have some of it out again, or I will
ride thee o'nights, like the mare.
Fal.
I think, I am as like to ride the mare, if I have
any vantage of ground to get up.
Ch. J.
How comes this, sir John? Fie note! what man note of
good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation?
Are you not asham'd, to enforce a poor widow to so
rough a course to come by her own?
Fal.
What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Hos.
Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself,
and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a
parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my dolphin-chamber, at
the round table, by a sea-coal fire, on wednesday in
Whitson-week, when the prince broke thy head for
liking his father14Q0681 to note a singing-man of Windsor; thou
didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, to
marry me, and make me my lady thy wife. Canst thou
deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, the butcher's wife,
come in then, and call me gossip Quickly? coming in to
borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us, she had a good
dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some;
whereby I told thee, they were ill for a green wound?
And didst thou not note, when she was gone down stairs,
desire me to be no more so familiarity with note such poor
people; saying, that ere long they should call me madam?
And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch thee thirty
shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath; deny it, if
thou canst.
Fal.
My lord, this is a poor mad note soul; and she says,
up and down the town, that her eldest son is like you:
-- 27 --
she hath been in good case, and, the truth is, poverty
hath distracted her: But for these foolish officers,—I
beseech you, I may have redress against them.
Ch. J.
Sir John, sir John, I am well acquainted with
your manner of wrenching the true cause the false way:
It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that
come with such more than impudent sauciness from
you, can thrust me from a level consideration; I know,
you have practis'd upon the easy-yielding spirit of this
woman.
Hos.
Yes, in troth, note my lord.
Ch. J.
Pr'ythee note, peace:—Pay her the debt you owe
her, and unpay the villany you have done her note; the one
you may do with sterling money, and the other with
current repentance.
Fal.
My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without
reply. You call honourable boldness, impudent sauciness:
if a note man will make note curt'sy, and say nothing, he is virtuous:
No, my lord, (my humble note duty remember'd) I
will not be your suitor; I say to you, I do desire note deliverance
from these officers, being upon hasty note employment
in the king's affairs.
Ch. J.
You speak as having power to do wrong: but
answer in the effect of your reputation, and satisfy the
poor woman.
Fal.
Come hither, hostess.
[taking her aside.
Enter a Messenger.
Ch. J.
Now, master Gower; What news?
Mes.
The king, my lord, and Harry note prince of Wales,
Are near at hand: the rest the paper tells.
[delivering a Packet.
Fal.
As I am a gentleman;—
-- 28 --
Hos.
Nay, you note said so before.
Fal.
As I am a gentleman;—Come, no more words
of it.
Hos.
By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be
fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my
dining-chambers.
Fal.
Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for
thy walls,—a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the
prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work, is worth
a thousand of these bed-hangings note, and these fly-bitten
tapestries note. Let it be ten pound, if thou canst: Come, if
it were note not for thy humours, there is not a better wench
in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw thy action note:
Come, thou must not be in this humour with me; come, note
I know thou wast set on to this.
Hos.
Pray thee note, sir John, let it be but twenty nobles;
I am note loth to pawn my plate, in good earnest, la. note
Fal.
Let it alone; I'll make note other shift: you'll be a
fool still.
Hos.
Well, you shall have it, though note I pawn my gown.
I hope, you'll come to supper: You'll pay me altogether?
Fal.
Will I live?—&clquo;Go, with her, with her; [to Bar.]&crquo;
&clquo;hook on, hook on.&crquo;
Hos.
Will you have Doll Tear-sheet meet you at supper?
Fal.
No more words; let's have her.
[Exeunt Host. Bar. Officers, and Boy.
Ch. J.
I have heard better note news.
[putting up his Letters.
Fal.
What's the news, my lord note?
Ch. J.
Where lay the king last night note?
Mes.
At Basingstoke note, my lord.
Fal.
I hope, my lord, all's well; What's the news,
my lord?
-- 29 --
Ch. J.
Come all his forces back?
Mes.
No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,
Are march'd up to my lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland, and the archbishop.
Fal.
Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?
Ch. J.
You shall have letters of me presently:
Come, go along with me, good master Gower.
Fal.
My lord!
[staying him.
Ch. J.
What's the matter?
Fal.
Master Gower, [turning short from the Ch. Just.]
shall I entreat you with me to dinner?
Mes.
I must wait upon my good lord here: I thank
you, good sir John.
Ch. J.
Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you
are to take soldiers up in counties note as you go.
Fal.
Will you sup with me, master Gower?
Ch. J.
What foolish master taught you these manners,
sir John?
Fal.
Master Gower, if they become me not, he was
a fool that taught them me.—This is the right fencing
grace, my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair.
Ch. J.
Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great
fool.
[Exeunt.
SCENE II.
The same.
Enter Prince Henry, and Poins.
Pri.
Trust me, I note am exceeding weary.
Poi.
Is it come to that? I had thought, weariness durst
not have attach'd one of so high blood.
Pri.
'Faith, it does me note; though it discolours the complexion
of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it not
shew vilely in me, to desire small beer?
-- 30 --
Poi.
Why, a prince should not be so loosely study'd,
as to remember so weak a composition.
Pri.
Belike then, my appetite was not princely got;
for, in troth note, I do now remember the poor creature
small beer. But, indeed, these humble considerations
make me out of love with my greatness. What a disgrace
is it to me, to remember thy name; or to know thy face
to-morrow? or to take note how many pair of silk
stockings thou hast; viz. these note, and those that were thy
peach-colour'd ones? or note to bear the inventory of thy
shirts; as, one for superfluity, and one other note for use?—
but that, the tennis-court-keeper knows better than I:
for it is a low ebb of linnen with thee, when thou keepest note
not racket there; as thou hast not done a great while,
because the rest of thy low-countries have made a shift
to eat up note thy holland: [And God knows, whether those, note
that bawl out from the ruins of thy linnen, shall inherit
his kingdom: but the midwives say, the children are not
in the fault; whereupon the world encreases, and kindreds
are mightily strengthen'd.]
Poi.
How ill it follows, after you have labour'd so
hard, you should talk so idly? Tell me, how many good
young princes would do so, their fathers being so sick
as yours at this time is note?
Pri.
Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?
Poi.
Yes; and note let it be an excellent good thing.
Pri.
It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding
than thine.
Poi.
Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that
you will note tell.
Pri.
Why, I note tell thee,—it is not meet that I should
be sad, now my father is sick: albeit I could tell to
-- 31 --
thee, (as to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call
my friend) I could be sad, and sad indeed too.
Poi.
Very hardly, upon such a subject.
Pri.
Thou note think'st me as far in the devil's book, as
thou, and Falstaff, for obduracy and persistency; Let
the end try the man. But I tell thee,—my heart bleeds
inwardly, that my father is so sick: and keeping such
vile company as thou art, hath in reason taken from me
all ostentation of sorrow.
Poi.
The reason?
Pri.
What wouldst thou think of me, if I should weep?
Poi.
I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.
Pri.
It would be every man's thought: and thou art
a blessed fellow, to think as every man thinks; never
a man's thought in the world keeps the road-way better
than thine: every man would think me an hypocrite,
indeed. And what accites note your most worshipful thought,
to think so?
Poi.
Why, because you have been so lewd, and so
much engraffed to Falstaff.
Pri.
And to thee.
Poi.
Nay, I note am well spoken of, I can hear it with
mine own ears: the worst that they can say of me, is,
that I am a second brother, and that I am a proper fellow
of my hands; and those two things, I confess, I
cannot help. Look, look, here note comes Bardolph.
Enter Bardolph, and Page.
Pri.
And the boy that I gave Falstaff: he had note him
from me christian; and see, if note the fat villain have not
transform'd him ape.
Bar.
'Save note your grace!
Pri.
And yours, most noble Bardolph!
-- 32 --
Bar.
Come note, you14Q0682 virtuous note ass, [to the Page.] you
bashful fool, must you be blushing? wherefore blush you
now? What a maidenly man at arms are you become?
Is it note such a matter, to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead?
Pag.
He call'd me even now note, my lord, through a red
lattice, and I could discern no part of his face from the
window: at last, I spy'd his eyes; and, methought, he
had made two holes in the ale-wife's new note petticoat, and
peep'd through.
Pri.
Hath not note the boy profited?
[to Poins.
Bar.
Away, you whorson upright rabbet, note away!
Pag.
Away, you rascally Althea's dream, away!
Pri.
Instruct us, boy; What dream, boy?
Pag.
Marry, my lord, Althea dream'd note, she was deliver'd
of a fire-brand; and therefore I call him, her dream.
Pri.
A crown's-worth of good interpretation;—
there &dagger2; it is note, boy.
Poi.
O, that this good note blossom could be kept from
cankers!—Well, there &dagger2; is six-pence to preserve thee.
Bar.
An you do not make him be hang'd among
you, the gallows shall have wrong note.
Pri.
And how doth thy master, Bardolph?
Bar.
Well, my lord note. He heard of your grace's coming
to town; there's &dagger2; a letter for you.
Poi.
Deliver'd note with good respect.—And how doth
the martlemas your master?
Bar.
In bodily health, sir.
Poi.
Marry, the immortal part needs a physician:
but that moves not him; though that be sick, it dies not.
Pri.
I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me
as my dog: and he holds his place; for, look you, how note
he writes.
[giving Poins the Letter.
-- 33 --
Poi. [reads.]
John note Falstaff, knight,—Every man
must know that, as oft as he hath occasion note to name
himself. Even like those that are kin to the king; for
they never prick their finger, but they say, There is note
some of the king's blood spilt: How comes that? says he,
that takes upon him not to conceive: the answer is as
ready as a borrower's note cap; I am the king's poor cousin,
sir.
Pri.
Nay, they will be kin to us, or they note will fetch
it from Japhet. But the note letter:—14Q0683
Poi.
Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of the king,
nearest his father, Harry prince of Wales, greeting.—Why,
this is a certificate.
Pri.
Peace!
Poi.
I will imitate the honourable Romans in brevity;
—sure, he means note brevity in breath; short-winded.—
I commend me to thee, I commend thee, and I leave thee. Be
not too familiar with Poins; for he misuses thy favours so
much, that he swears, thou art to marry his sister Nell. Repent
at idle times as thou may'st, and so farewel. Thine,
by yea and no, (which is as much as to say, as thou usest
him) Jack Falstaff, with my familiars; note John, with my
brothers and sisters; note and sir John, with all Europe.—
My lord, I will note steep this letter in sack, and make him
eat it.
Pri.
That's to make him eat twenty of his words.
But do you use me thus, Ned? must I marry your sister?
Poi.
May the wench have no note worse fortune! but I
never said so.
Pri.
Well, thus we play the fools note with the time;
and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds, and mock
us.—Is your master here in London?
-- 34 --
Bar.
Yes, my note lord.
Pri.
Where sups he? doth the old boar feed in the
old frank?
Bar.
At the old place, my lord; in East-cheap.
Pri.
What company?
Pag.
Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.
Pri.
Sup any women with him?
Pag.
None, my lord, but old mistress Quickly, and
mistress Doll Tear-sheet.
Pri.
What pagan may that be?
Pag.
A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman
of my master's.
Pri.
Even such kin, as the parish heifers note are to the
town bull.—Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper?
Poi.
I am your shadow, my lord; I'll follow you.
Pri.
Sirrah, you boy,—and Bardolph;—no word to
your master, that I am yet come to town note: There's for
your silence.
[giving them Money.
Bar.
I have no tongue, sir.
Pag.
And for mine, sir,—I will govern it.
Pri.
Fare ye note well; go. [Exeunt Pag. and Bar.] This
Doll Tear-sheet should be some road.
Poi.
I warrant you, as common as the way between
Saint Alban's and London.
Pri.
How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night
in his true colours, and not ourselves be seen note.
Poi. [after pausing a little.]
Put on two leather note jerkins,
and aprons, and wait upon him at his table as
drawers note.
Pri.
From a god to a bull? a heavy declension note! it
was Jove's case: From a prince to a prentice? a low
transformation! that shall be mine: for, in every thing,
-- 35 --
the purpose must weigh with the folly.—Follow me,
Ned.
[Exeunt.
SCENE III.
Warkworth. Before the Castle.
Enter Northumberland, his Lady, and Lady Percy.
Nor.
I pray thee note, loving wife,—and gentle daughter,—
Give even note way unto my rough affairs:
Put not you on the visage of the times,
And be, like them, to Percy troublesome.
La. N.
I have given over, I will speak no more:
Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide.
Nor.
Alas, sweet wife, my honour is at pawn;
And, but my going, nothing can redeem it.
La. P.
O yet, for God's note sake, go not to these wars!
The time was, father, that you note broke your word,
When you were more endear'd note to it than now;
When your own Percy, when my heart's dear note Harry,14Q0684
Threw many a northward look, to see his father
Bring up his powers; but he did long in note vain.
Who then persuaded you to stay at home?
There were two honours lost; yours, and your son's.
For yours,—may heavenly glory brighten note it!
For his,—it stuck upon him, as the sun
In the grey vault of heaven: and, by his light,
Did all the chivalry in England move
To do brave acts; he was, indeed, the glass
Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves.
He had note no legs, that practic'd not his gait:
And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish,
Became the accents of the valiant;
For those that could speak low, and tardily,
-- 36 --
Would turn their own perfection to abuse,
To seem like him: So that, in speech, in gait,
In diet, in affections of delight,
In military rules, humours of blood,
He was the mark and glass, copy and book,
That fashion'd others. And him,—O wond'rous him!
O miracle of men!—him did you leave,
(Second to none, unseconded by you)
To look upon the hideous god of war
At disadvantage; to abide a field,
Where nothing but the sound of Hot-spur's name
Did seem defensible:—so you left him:
Never, o never, do his ghost the wrong,
To hold your honour more precise and nice
With others, than with him; let them alone;
The marshal, and the archbishop, are strong:
Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers,
To-day might I, hanging on Hot-spur's neck,
Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.
Nor.
Beshrew your heart,
Fair daughter! you do draw my spirits from me,
With new lamenting ancient over-sights.
But I must go, and meet with danger there;
Or it will seek me in another place,
And find me worse provided.
La. N.
O, fly to Scotland,
'Till that the nobles, and the armed commons,
Have of their puissance made a little taste.
La. P.
If they get ground and vantage of the king,
Then join you with them, like a rib of steel,
To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves,
First let them try themselves: So did your son;
-- 37 --
He was so suffer'd; so came I a widow;
And never shall have length of life enough,
To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes,
That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven,
For recordation to my noble husband.
Nor.
Come, come, go in with me: 'tis with my mind,
As with the tide swell'd up unto his height,
That makes a still-stand, running neither way.
Fain would I go to meet the archbishop,
But many thousand reasons hold me back:—
I will resolve for Scotland; there am I,
'Till time and vantage crave my company.
[Exeunt.
SCENE IV.
London. Room in Quickly's House.
Enter a Drawer, with Bottles and Glasses; Another following, with Plates.
1. D.
What the devil hast note thou brought there? apple-Johns?
thou know'st, sir John cannot endure an apple-John.
2. D.
Mass note, thou say'st true: The prince once set a
dish of apple-Johns before him, and told him, there
were five more sir Johns: and, putting off his hat, said,—
I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, wither'd
knights. It anger'd him to the heart; but he hath
forgot that.
1. D.
Why then, cover, and set them down: And see
if thou canst find out Sneak's noise: mistress Tear-sheet
would fain have some note musick. Dispatch: note
2. D.
Sirrah, here will be the prince, and master
Poins, anon: and they will put on two of our jerkins,
-- 38 --
and aprons; and sir John must not know of it: Bardolph
hath brought word.
1. D.
Then here note will be old utis: It will be an excellent
stratagem.
2. D.
I'll see, if I can find out Sneak.
[Exit.
Enter Hostess, and Doll Tear-sheet.
Hos.
Sweet note heart, methinks now you are in an excellent
good temperality: your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily
as heart would desire; and your colour, I
warrant you, is as red as any rose: note But, i' faith note, you
have drunk too much canaries; and that's a marvellous
searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can note
say—What's this? How do you now?
Dol.
Better than I was. Hem.
Hos.
Why, that's well note said; A good heart's worth
gold. Look, here note comes sir John.
Enter Falstaff, singing.
Fal.
When Arthur14Q0686 first in court.—
Empty the jordan.
[pointing to the other Room. Exit Drawer.
And was a worthy king;—
How now, mistress Doll?
Hos.
Sick of a calm: yea, good sooth note.
Fal.
So is all her sect; if they note be once in a calm,
they are sick.
Dol.
You note muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you
give me?
Fal.
You make fat rascals, mistress Doll.
Dol.
I make them! gluttony and diseases make
them; I note make them not.
Fal.
If the cook help to make note the gluttony, you
help to make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll,
we catch of you; grant that, my poor virtue, grant that.
-- 39 --
Dol.
Ay, marry; our note chains, and our jewels.
Fal.
Your brooches,—Pearls, and ouches;—for to serve
bravely, is, to come halting off, you know: To come
off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery
bravely; to venture upon the charg'd chambers
bravely;—
Dol.
Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself! note
Hos.
Why, this note is the old fashion; you two never
meet, but you fall to some discord: you are both, in
good troth note, as rheumatick as two dry toasts; you cannot
one bear with another's confirmities. What the
good-year! one must bear, and that must be you: [to
Doll.] you are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier
vessel.
Dol.
Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full
hogs-head? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux
stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuft
in the hold.—Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack:
thou art going to the wars; and whether I shall ever see
thee again, or no, there is nobody cares. note
Re-enter Drawer.
Dra.
Sir, ancient Pistol's below note, and would speak
with you.
Dol.
Hang him, swaggering rascal! let him not come
hither: it is the foul-mouth'st rogue in England.
Hos.
If he swagger, let him not come here: no, by
my faith; note I must live among my note neighbours; I'll no
swaggerers: I am in good name and fame with the very
best;—shut the door;—there comes no swaggerers here:
I have not liv'd all this while, to have swaggering now;—
shut the door, I pray you.
Fal.
Dost thou hear, hostess?—
-- 40 --
Hos.
Pray you, pacify yourself, sir John; there comes
no swaggerers here.
Fal.
Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient.
Hos.
Tilly-fally, sir John, never tell me; your note ancient
swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before
master Tisick, the deputy, the other note day: and, as he said
to me,—it was note no longer ago than wednesday last,—
Neighbour Quickly, says he,—master Dumb note, our minister,
was by then;—neighbour Quickly, says he, receive those
that are civil; for, saith he note, you are in an ill name;—
now he said note so, I can tell whereupon;—for, says he, you
are an honest woman, and well thought on; therefore take
heed what guests you receive: receive, says he, no swaggering
companions:—There comes none here;—you
would bless you to hear what he said:—no, I'll no
swaggerers.
Fal.
He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater,
he; you note may stroak him as gently as a puppy grey-hound:
he will note not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her
feathers turn back in any shew of resistance.—Call him
up, drawer.
[Exit Drawer.
Hos.
Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest
man my house, nor no cheater: But I do not love swaggering;
I note am the worse, when one says—swagger: feel,
masters, how I shake; look you, I warrant you.
Dol.
So you do, hostess.
Hos.
Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere note an
aspen leaf: I cannot abide swaggerers.
Enter Ancient Pistol, strutting; Bardolph, and Page, with him.
Pis.
'Save note you, sir John!
Fal.
Welcome, ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge
-- 41 --
you with a cup of sack; [filling, and reaching out to him.]
do you discharge upon mine hostess.
Pis.
I will discharge upon her, sir John, with two
bullets.
[filling another Glass for the Hostess.
Fal.
She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly note offend
her.
Hos.
Come, I'll drink no proofs, nor no bullets: [putting
the Glass from her.] I'll note drink no more than will do
me good, for no man's pleasure, I.
Pis.
Then to you, mistress Dorothy; I will charge you.
Dol.
Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion.
What! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linnen
mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for
your master.
Pis.
I know you, mistress Dorothy.
Dol.
Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung,
away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy
chaps, an you note play the saucy cuttle with me. Away,
you bottle-ale rascal, you basket-hilt stale jugler you!
Since when, I pray you, sir? What, with note two points on
your shoulder? much!
Pis.
I note will murther your ruff for this.
[reaching at it.
Fal.
No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off note
here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.
Hos.
No, good captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain.
Dol.
Captain! thou abominable damn'd cheater, art
thou not asham'd to be call'd—captain? if captains note were
of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking
their names upon you before you have earn'd them.
You a captain, you slave! for what? for tearing a poor
whore's ruff in a bawdy-house?—He a captain! Hang
-- 42 --
him, rogue! he lives upon mouldy stew'd-pruins, and
dry'd cakes. A captain! these note villains will make the
word, captain, odious; therefore note captains had need look
to it. note
Bar.
Pray thee, go down, good ancient.
Fal.
Hark thee hither, mistress Doll.
Pis.
Not I: I tell thee what, corporal Bardolph; I could
tear her;—I'll be reveng'd on her.
Pag.
Pray thee, go down.
Pis.
I'll see her damn'd first;
To Pluto's damned lake, to note the infernal deep,
Where Erebus and tortures vile also.
Hold hook and line, say I. Down!
Down dogs, down faitors note;14Q0687 Have we not Hiren here?
[clapping his Hand to his Sword.
Hos.
Good captain Peesel, be quiet; it is very late: note
I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.
Pis.
These be good humours, indeed! Shall pack-horses,
And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia,
Which cannot go but thirty miles note a day,
Compare with Cæsars note, and with Cannibals,
And Trojan Greeks?
Nay, rather, damn them with king Cerberus;
And let the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys?
Hos.
By my troth, captain, these are very bitter
words.
Bar.
Be gone, good ancient: this will grow to a
brawl anon.
Pis.
Die note men, like dogs; give crowns away, like pins:
Have we not Hiren here?
Hos.
O'my note word, captain, there's none such here.
What the good-year! do you think, I would deny her?
-- 43 --
for God's sake, be note quiet.
Pis.
Then, Feed, and be fat, my fair Calipolis.—
Come, give's some note sack.—
Si fortuna14Q0688 me tormenta, sperato me contenta note.—
Fear we broad-sides? no, let the fiend give fire:
Give me some sack;—and, sweet heart, lye note thou there.
[to his Sword.
Come we to full points here; [seizing upon a Bottle.] And are et cætera's nothing note?
Fal.
Pistol, I would be quiet.
Pis.
Sweet knight, I note kiss thy neaf: What! we have seen
The seven stars.
Dol.
Thrust note him down stairs; I cannot endure such
a fustian rascal.
Pis.
Thrust him down stairs! know we not Galloway nags?
Fal.
Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat
shilling: nay, if he do nothing but speak nothing, he
shall note be nothing here.
Bar.
Come, get you down stairs.
Pis.
What! shall we have incision? shall we embrew?
[snatching up his Sword, and drawing.
Then, death, rock me asleep; abridge my doleful days!
Why then, let grievous, gastly, gaping wounds
Untwine the sisters three! come, Atropos, I say!
Hos.
Here's goodly stuff note toward!
Fal.
Give me my rapier, boy.
[to the Page.
Dol.
I pray thee note, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw.
Fal.
Get you down stairs.
[drawing, and driving Pistol out.
Hos.
Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping
house, before note I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So;
murther, I warrant now.—Alas, alas! put up your naked
-- 44 --
weapons, put up your naked weapons.
[Exeunt Pistol, and Bardolph.
Dol.
I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal is gone:
Ah, you whorson little valiant villain, you!
Hos.
Are you not hurt i'th' groin? methought, he
made a shrewd thrust at your belly.
Re-enter Bardolph.
Fal.
Have you turn'd him out of doors note?
Bar.
Yes, sir note. The rascal's drunk: you have hurt
him, sir, i'the note shoulder.
Fal.
A rascal! to brave me!
Dol.
Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor
ape, how thou sweat'st? Come, let me wipe thy face;
come on, you whorson chops: [wiping him.] Ah, rogue, note
I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy,
worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the
nine worthies: Ah, villain!
Fal.
A rascally note slave! I will toss the rogue in a
blanket.
Dol.
Do, if thou dar'st for thy heart: if thou dost note,
I'll canvass thee between a pair of sheets.
Enter two or three Fidlers.
Pag.
The musick is come, sir.
Fal.
Let them play;—Play, sirs.—Sit on my knee,
Doll. [Musick.] A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled
from me like quick-silver.
Dol.
I'faith note, and thou follow'dst him like a church.
Thou whorson little tidy Bartholomew note boar-pig, when
wilt thou leave fighting o'days, and foining o'nights note,
and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven?
Enter the Prince, and Poins, at a Distance, in the Habit of Drawers.
-- 45 --
Fal.
Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death's-head;
do not bid me remember mine end.
Dol.
Sirrah, what humour is note the prince of?
Fal.
A good shallow young fellow: he would note have
made a good pantler, he would have chip'd note bread well.
Dol.
They say, Poins hath a note good wit.
Fal.
He a good wit? hang him, baboon! his wit is note as
thick as Tewksbury mustard; there is note no more conceit in
him, than is in a mallet.
Dol.
Why doth the note prince love him so then?
Fal.
Because their legs are both of a bigness; and
he plays note at quoits well; and eats conger and fennel; and
drinks off candles' ends for flap-dragons; and rides the
wild mare with the boys; and jumps upon joint-stools;
and swears with a good grace; and wears his boot note
very smooth, like unto the sign of the leg; and
breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories: and
such other gambol faculties he hath note, that shew a weak
mind and an able body, for the which the prince admits
him: for the prince himself is such another; the
weight of a hair will turn note scales between their aver-dupois.
Pri.
Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?
Poi.
Let's note beat him before his whore.
Pri.
Look, if the note wither'd elder hath not his poll
claw'd like a parrot.
Poi.
Is it not strange, that desire should so many
years out-live performance?
Fal.
Kiss me, Doll.
[she kisses him.
Pri.
Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! what
says the almanack to that?
Poi.
And, look, whether the fiery Trigon, his man,
-- 46 --
[seeing Bardolph sweet upon the Hostess.] be not lisping
to note14Q0689 his master's note old tables; his note-book, his counsel-keeper.
Fal.
Thou dost give me flattering busses.
Dol.
Nay, truly; I note kiss thee with a most constant heart.
Fal.
I am old, I am old.
Dol.
I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young
boy of them all.
Fal.
What stuff wilt have note a kirtle of? I shall receive
money o'thursday note: thou note shalt have a cap to-morrow. A
merry song, come: it grows late, we'll to-bed. Thou't note
forget me, when I am gone.
Dol.
Thou't note set me a weeping, an thou say'st so:
prove that ever I dress myself handsome 'till thy return.
Well, harken the end note.
Fal.
Some sack, Francis.
Pri. Poi.
Anon, anon, sir.
[coming forward.
Fal.
Ha! [starting up.] a bastard son of the king's?—
And art not thou Poins, his brother?
Pri.
Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a
life dost thou lead?
Fal.
A better than thou; I am a gentleman, thou art
a drawer.
Pri.
Very true, sir; and I come to draw you out by
the ears.
[they uncase.
Hos.
O, the Lord preserve thy good note grace! welcome note
to London. Now heaven bless note that sweet face of thine!
what, are note you come from Wales?
Fal.
Thou whorson mad compound of majesty,—by
this light flesh and corrupt blood, [laying his Hand upon
Doll.] thou art welcome.
Dol.
How! you fat fool, I scorn you.
-- 47 --
Poi.
My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge,
and turn all to a merriment, if you take not the
heat.
Pri.
You whorson candle-mine, you, how vilely did
you speak of me even note now, before this honest, virtuous,
civil gentlewoman?
Hos.
'Blessing note o'your good heart! and so she is, by
my troth.
Fal.
Didst thou hear me?
Pri.
Yes; and note you knew me, as you did when you
ran away by Gads-hill: you knew, I was at your back;
and spoke it on purpose, to try my patience.
Fal.
No, no, no; not so; I did not think, thou wast
within hearing.
Pri.
I shall drive you then to confess the wilful
abuse; and then I know how to handle you.
Fal.
No abuse, Hal, on mine note honour; no abuse.
Pri.
No! to note dispraise me; and call me—pantler,
and bread-chipper note, and I know not what?
Fal.
No abuse, Hal.
Poi.
No abuse!
Fal.
No abuse, Ned, in the world note; honest Ned, none.
I disprais'd him before the wicked, that the wicked
might not fall in love with him: note—in which doing, I
have done the part of a careful friend, and a true subject,
and thy father is to give me thanks for it. No abuse,
Hal;—none, Ned, none;—no, boys note, none.
Pri.
See now, whether pure fear, and entire cowardice,
doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman,
to close with us. Is she of the wicked? Is thine hostess
here of the wicked? Or is the boy note of the wicked? or honest
Bardolph, whose zeal burns in his nose, of the wicked?
-- 48 --
Poi.
Answer, thou dead elm, answer.
Fal.
The fiend hath prick'd down Bardolph irrecoverable;
and his face is Lucifer's privy-kitchen, where
he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For the boy,—
there is a good angel about him; but the devil out-bids
him note too.
Pri.
For the women,—
Fal.
For one of them,—she is in hell already, and
burns, poor soul note: For the other,—I owe her money; and
whether she be damn'd for that, I know not.
Hos.
No, I warrant you.
Fal.
No, I think, thou art not; I think, thou art quit
for that: Marry, there is another indictment upon thee,
for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to
the law; for the which, I think, thou wilt howl.
Hos.
All vit'lars do so: What's note a joint of mutton,
or two, in a whole lent?
Pri.
You gentlewoman,—
Dol.
What says your grace?
Fal.
His grace says that which his flesh rebels against.
[Knocking heard.
Hos.
Who knocks so loud at door? look to the note door
there, Francis.
Enter Peto, hastily.
Pri.
Peto, how now? what news?
Pet.
The king your father is at Westminster;
And there are twenty weak and weary'd posts,
Come from the north: and, as I came along,
I met, and over-took, a dozen captains,
Bare-headed, sweating, knocking at the taverns,
And asking every one for sir John Falstaff.
Pri.
By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame note,
-- 49 --
So idly to prophane the precious time;
When tempest of commotion, like the south
Born with black vapour, doth begin to melt,
And drop upon our bare unarmed heads.
Give me my sword, and cloak:—Falstaff, good night.
[Exeunt Prince, Poi. Pet. and Bar.
Fal.
Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night,
and we must hence, and leave it unpick'd. [Knock.] More
knocking at the door?—[Re-enter Bardolph.] How now?
what's the matter?
Bar.
You must away to court, sir, presently;
A dozen captains stay at door for you.
Fal.
Pay the musicians, sirrah.—[to the Page.] Farewel,
hostess;—farewel, Doll.—You see, my good wenches,
how men of merit are sought after: the undeserver may
sleep, when the man of action is call'd on. Farewel,
good wenches:—If I be not sent away post, I will see
you again ere I go.
Dol.
I cannot speak;—If my heart be not ready to
burst:—Well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.
Fal.
Farewel, farewel.
[Exeunt Fal. and Bar.
Hos.
Well, fare thee well: I have known thee these
twenty nine years, come pescod-time; but an honester,
and truer-hearted man,—Well, fare thee well.
Bar. [within.]
Mistress Tear-sheet,—
Hos.
What's the matter?
Bar.
Bid note mistress Tear-sheet come to my master.
Hos.
O, run, Doll, run; run, good Doll.
[Exeunt. note
Edward Capell [1767], Mr William Shakespeare his comedies, histories, and tragedies, set out by himself in quarto, or by the Players his Fellows in folio, and now faithfully republish'd from those Editions in ten Volumes octavo; with an introduction: Whereunto will be added, in some other Volumes, notes, critical and explanatory, and a Body of Various Readings entire (Printed by Dryden Leach, for J. and R. Tonson [etc.], London) [word count] [S10601].
